Chapter 1 Thievery of the cupcakes and attack on Chuck Norris
You know kiddie-wink's if Badger had just been giant and destructive and all that wonderful stuff, he might have had a swift death from Gleeson Hedge the ultimate warrior. *A few lines of scribbles are on the page of the journal* Sorry about that, you see I monologue when I write and some of my subordinates where mocking me so I swiftly kicked them back into line. A really awesome kick that was like a flying round house kick for like a hundred feet (Hooves, whatever) that sent a particularly loud cupcake so hard into a tree he dented the bark. The dryad was not pleased, I would have exiled her if not for the fact she can't move and I also have a weakness for girl's in green so I just make angry faces at her occasionally. Anyways for what the badger has done in stealing or supplies and breaking my portable video player (I'm told mortals have a name for it but I don't have time for such things to busy being the strongest goat in the world) loaded with all action's flicks to get me through this boorish guarding of the New York perimeter. For what this badger has done we will give no quarter, perhaps I will feed it to a sea-monster, perhaps I will make it my mount and mutate it so it can breath fire! Yes excellent, Gleeson Hedge will be a lord of the wild above all others on the mount known as "Badge-Cake" *More scribbles* INSUBORDINATE SCUM-CAKES! Now that you know of our plan I invite you to join me or die on this quest of epic proportions as I lead these rag tag goat babies of satyr's to victory.
This is Gleeson Hedge warrior of renown signing off
*More Scribbles*

Haha. I love this. Post soon Spike!

I actually have wondered about this! It sounds quite interesting and very original.

Apologies, had to order glasses yesterday, they're called b.u.m or something so I'll find it hilarious I'll have bum on my face.
FOCUS
I had the first paragraph of chapter 2 ready by the time chapter 1 was up so I'll stop procrastinating and get to it.

Chapter-2 The stealth of clippity cloppity Hooves and the roar of the goat
Seven A.M waking up in the morning *Scribbles* anyone who dare sing that song. Or even better "Seven A.M and I go back to sleep." because that's how legends act and don't let and cupcake *Scribbles* -er tell you different. *A line as if Hedge was writing and left before he was finished a word* Bad news cupcakes, Felix has threatened to stop trying to fix my video-player if don't stop cussing. Odd enough he's a satyr with blonde hair blue eyes and works with technology, he even thinks he can threaten me! Best just to take the six-foot nut-cake seriously or he might replace Stallone with Rainbow Dash, or Willis with some equally fruity wingless Pegasus. Felix is telling me that it's called a "Horse", he's a weird cupcake he is definitely not Schwarzenegger approved. Anyways Mooshie our tracker who's parents must have been tie dye wearing hippies judging by his name and it definitely by his looks, long black hair, rasta cap, hug the world shirt. Both are peace loving hippies actually who hate battle and are undersving to be the disciples of myself the mightiest Satyr warrior in the last three-hundred years. *Scribbles* No respect! I'ooshm beginning to think they're working for the enemy, death by my little pony marathon's if so. Anyways Mooshie says that the badger has gone north presumably to rendezvous with a battalion of Kronos's elite ugly cupcakes. Seriously on a scale of one to ten of how ugly they are I'd give them ten digits. So we started jumping through the tree's and I know what your thinking "Oh, great and mighty Hedge! Pray tell, how stealthy might a pack of goat-men be?" to I would respond "Impudent fool! The feet of a human may be more quiet when running on your puny rock roads but here in the wilderness we have the natural edge!" and then proceed to call you a cupcake and say "Give me fifty!" When you went down to do push ups I would also take fifty dollars for the "Return of Norris fund."
No I do not have run-on sentences you *Scribbles* and if you ever accuse me of that again I will *Scribbles* -tick of dynamite and foot of elephant in your *Scribbles* mixing powder! Roughly fifteen minutes later thanks to our amazing goat speed and parkour we found a gathering of all sorts of nasty cupcakes. Most notably there was plenty of Empousa moving around something I couldn't see quite properly, I started to strafe around go get a better view. Unfortunately there where so many monsters (Soon to be dead monsters) no one in my platoon could see. I signaled one of our cloud nymph's called Gwynovere who had a spiky punk hair-cut and looked like that hunter girl Thalia to give me a boost. She snapped he fingers and I got launched about ten feet into the air onto a branch right above the monsters, in the middle what they where focusing on was...... was.......
*Plenty of scribbles the only decipherable one being the word "Badger"*
I plunged down from the branch a fierce bleat in my throat in a conjunction of monsters with revenge in my heart.
"NOW BADGER WE BATTLE TO THE DEATH!!"
Enjoy.

XDDDDDDDD
AWSHUM!