Alright I know I started a fan Fiction a few mouths il y a but it was just ... not there. But This one will be good and I will finish it, i have big idea's for it!

Dean stared blankly at the ceiling of the dirty motel room trying to find a peaceful thought to fall asleep on, but his mind was racing with questions and no one had the réponses too. Everything was on his shoulders, stopping the apocalypse, taking care of Sammy, trying not to get killed. Just one day, one jour he wanted for himself, but he knew he would never get it. It was strange, four years il y a Dean never would have dreamed about wanting an ‘apple pie life’ but now he craved it.

Lisa. She suddenly ran threw his mind, if only he could have stayed with her, if only that could become his life. But why waste time thinking about what never could ou would be. He had a life, and it was one he could not leave, weather he wanted to ou not. And he could never imagine his life without Sam par his side. Every time he ran away Dean always felt like someone punched him in the face, there was always fear, even if he knew where he was, Dean always assumed the worst. Those years when Sam was away at Harvard he wanted to drag his cul, ass back home. But Sam had made his choice. Dean remembered arguing with his dad a few times, wanting to go with to check on Sam, but John was a smart man, he knew the moment Dean saw Sam he would try and talk to him.

And now years later Sam was always at his side and Dean did not want it any-other way.

But now he wanted something other than a hunter’s life. Why was he thinking this? Was it because he knew that no matter what something was either going to happen o him ou Sam? ou was it because he was just tired, tired of everything. The angels, the demons, and especially the damn apocalypse, out of the many times Dean had died, I just wished once he had stayed dead. But that was not how it worked, not for the Winchesters anyway.

Slowly Dean moved his head to get a glance at Sammy, Dean shouldn’t be complaining, Sam had had it worse them him. Demons always on his ass. As much pain as Dean had, sometimes he wished he could take some away from his little brother, Dean knew he could handle some more. Sam was passed out, his light snoring indicated that he was plus tired than he had a dit he was. Hopefully he was getting a better night sleep then Dean. Damn everything! Dean thought as he re-lived moments of his life in the empty darkness, remembering every moment the involved Sam ou someone he loved getting hurt. Every death, every scream, every drop of blood, that was on him, weather he pulled the trigger ou not. That was just the way he was, his life came last. And if anyone died and he could have saved them, that he blames himself.

Time ticked on, the sound of the seconde hand echoed in the room. Dean did not get on moment of sleep, he did not even dose off. When the alarm went off at six, Dean jumped right up and got into the shower. He tried to empty his mind, but knew thoughts kept seeping through.

“Dean!” Sam banged on the door making him jump. “Hurry up!” Dean grumbled and turned the water off and got dressed.

“What!”

“We have a case … remember?” Sam was in a good mood, he had his joking voice on and a slight smile on his face. This only made Dean sad, he was not at all in the mood for any of this.

“Sam” Dean looked down at his feet hating what he was about to say. “We don’t we just stop, take a break”

“What? Are – Are toi kidding me? This thing is killing people, almost every day. Don’t toi want to stop it?”

“Of course I do!” Dean hollered , “Just, I’m sick of this, I’m sick of everything. We never have a break – and – “ Dean stopped shaking his head. “Forget it”

Sam opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. He knew his brother all to well, this was not something he wanted to talk about.