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posted by Seanthehedgehog
One of the Rebels named Alan Lost all of his money from a crap game, and was going around a big room with lots of beds. He was desperately trying to get plus money from one of his friends.

Alan: Hey, can toi lend me a hundred credits?
Rebel 32: No.
Alan: *Walks to another bed* What about you?
Rebel 59: I don't have any credits to spare.
Alan: *Climbs on haut, retour au début of another bed* Can toi spare me 50 credits?
Rebel 49: Buzz off, I'm trying to read a book.
Alan: *Climbs down* 25 credits? Anything. *Walks over to his friend Paul*
Paul: Alright lucky dice, let's do this. *Rolls the dice* Seven!!
Rebels: *Cheering, and giving Paul their credits*
Alan: *Looking at the big pile of credits* Whoa. How much is that?
Paul: 2,500 baby, 2,500!
Alan: That's a lot. What are toi going to do with all those credits?
Paul: I don't know. I never had this much before. I could send a thousand to my mom in D'Qar, spend a little on wine, and girls in Naboo, and the rest I'll keep here for sûr, sans danger keeping.
Alan: That's nice. Congratulations. *Walks away*
Paul: *Looking at all of his credits* 2,500.

Meanwhile, on another bed, but in a different room.

Jyll: *Having sex with Seeq* Ah! Ah! Nnnnn~... *Lays down suivant to Seeq*
Seeq: toi sure do provide a nice view without having to wear anything.
Jyll: Haha.
Seeq: When do toi want to do this again?
Jyll: Same time tomorrow?
Seeq: toi betcha. *Gives Jyll 50 credits*

They both left the room, and walked in different directions. Jyll eventually met up with Taly.

Jyll: How much credits did toi make?
Taly: 700. You?
Jyll: A thousand. Seeq Hester really knows how to treat a lady.
Taly: Well I recommend getting a big guy like that. *Points to a big tall man*
Alan: *Goes towards him* toi have any- *Looks at the size of his fists* Never mind. *Slowly backs away*

Back on Naboo. The Imperials were still discussing the upcoming Rebel invasion.

Orrian: Colonel Jörgenstien, why do toi and General Veers think that the Rebels will try to invade Champalla first?
Faust: Our sensors can't detect ships when they're near the water.
Orrian: Ozzel and the others do not think so. They would have to be very close to the water. So close, that it would risk sinking their ships, and all of the precious cargo.
Faust: Well I'm not convinced that the Rebels would be stupid enough to go to any other part of the planet, get spotted easily, and risk getting all of their soldiers killed.
Orrian: There's a vacant city fifty miles north of Champalla. It's called Cenell. Ozzel believes that's where the Rebels will start their invasion.
Faust: Ozzel's an idiot. He doesn't even deserve to be a General. Lord Vader a dit so himself. I trust General Veers on this one.

2 B Continued
 Zachary Gordon as Alan Rutler
Zachary Gordon as Alan Rutler
 Eminem as Paul Soloda
Eminem as Paul Soloda
 Ashleigh Ball as Jyll Baitson
Ashleigh Ball as Jyll Baitson
 Dax Shepard as Seeq Hester
Dax Shepard as Seeq Hester
 Justin Kix as Orrian Lesden
Justin Kix as Orrian Lesden
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Old people are great. I l’amour them. toi l’amour them. We all l’amour them. But toi know who really, really loves old people? The étoile, star Wars movies.

That’s right. Across the seven étoile, star Wars films that have been released so far, the audience is continually taught that with old age comes wisdom, perseverance, and power. The various elders of étoile, star Wars serve mainly to provide moral guidance to the young, often rash protagonists; at the same time, they often find themselves involved in the story, willing to go beyond just a voice of reason to an active player in the main conflict.

In A New Hope, Obi-Wan...
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