Chapter One
June 1976
The corridor was dark and breezy as fifteen an old Severus Snape hurried down it, determined in his plan. Unnoticed par him, portraits eyed him keenly as he passed, wondering just what the pallid Slytherin youth was doing jogging down the hallway towards the Gryffindor common room alone so late at night. Although they were all too familiar with the tension and fighting between the two houses, never before had they seen a single Slytherin ou Gryffindor rushing off to confront a large group of the other house. It almost seemed suicidal.
The portrait of the Fat Lady loomed ahead of him and Severus felt his breath catch in his throat. This was it – now ou never.
He slowed in front of her, panting, and she gazed down at him curiously. Normally, she would have reprimanded him for being here so late (or yowled for Filch, depending on how much mead she'd drunk) but the gossiper in her was far too intrigued par this odd spectacle in front of her that she didn't even think about chasing him off. “Yes?” she asked.
“I need to speak to Lily Evans,” he answered, proud of himself for keeping his voice loud and steady. Well, there was a small squeak, at first, but he doubted that the Lady had heard it.
She frowned, causing her wide face to crinkle in several places. “I'm afraid you're going to have to wait, young man. Lily entered the common room hours il y a and everyone else of the House is already inside as well.”
Severus felt his shoulders slump and cold disappointment washed through him. This was it – the end of everything. Five years of friendship gone because of one little word . . . No, he thought to himself, raising his head and clenching his jaw. No, he wouldn't allow that to happen. One way ou another, he would apologize to Lily for calling her . . . what he'd called her earlier that day.
Perhaps the Fat Lady had seen the determination spark in the youth's black eyes for she a dit warily, “I'm sorry, but there really isn't anything toi can do. Best head off.”
Severus shook his head, causing his lank hair to fall into his face. “No. I need to speak with her as soon as possible. I'll wait all night if I have to.” And with that, he sat down, leaning against the mur opposite her, and crossed his arms. For a while, she tried to persuade him to leave, come back in the morning. Originally she had found his appearance amusing, but she could get in serious trouble for letting him stay out all night. Depending on what Dumbledore thought, she might even lose her guarding place.
But a firm “no” was all she ever got. Defeated, the Fat Lady bit her lip and let him alone.
The hours passed slowly, each one gradually bleeding into the next. Severus tried to think of ways to keep himself awake; he counted the number of gray stones he could see, sorted his favori potions ingredients alphabetically in his head, ran different scenarios of how not to get his scrawny arse kicked in the morning par his fellow house-mates, but nothing worked. He could feel his eyes closing . . . his head rolling vers l'avant, vers l’avant . . .
“ Snivellus ?!” a high-pitched voice demanded, startling him awake. “What are toi doing ?”
Severus rose to his feet and licked his dry lips. Mary McDonald, a small, round girl with big blue eyes and curly blonde hair, was a favori house-mate of Lily's. Although Lily would never go so far as to call them friends, there was definitely affection in her voice when she spoke of Mary.
“I need to speak to Lily.”
Mary wrinkled her nose. “Good luck with that. She's not too happy with you.”
Severus took a deep breath. “I know. I – I wanted to apologize.”
“And toi decided to do this par sitting outside the common room?” Severus nodded once and Mary snorted, “Gonna be awfully uncomfortable.”
“Well,” Severus began slowly, “I was hoping, since, eventually, you're going to have to go back into the common room, toi could get her for me? Unless she's sleeping,” he backtracked hastily when Mary's eyes widened. “If she's sleeping, then I can just wait -”
Mary eyed him curiously. It was a very odd scrutiny; after all, it had been his Friends that had embarrassed her so cruelly. In all honesty, he was surprised that she'd stayed out and talked to him, instead of running for a teacher. “She's not sleeping,” she said, still eying him up. “But I can't guarantee she'll talk to you.”
“I know.”
Mary hesitated before nodding and turning back to the hole. Severus was on tenterhooks: would she come out? Would Mary even tell her he was out here, ou would she get back at him par keeping silent?
Finally, after what seemed like lifetimes the portrait swung open (causing the Fat Lady to huff irritably) and Lily crawled out, looking plus furious than Severus ever remembered seeing her. She walked over to him, her arms crossed tight, her lips pressed into a thin line (eerily reminiscent of Professor McGonagall), her eyes narrowed into slits as she gazed down coldly at him. For one, wild moment, Severus thought that she would whip her wand out and curse him.
“What do you want?” she asked when she reached him. Her voice was like ice – sharp and cold – and it stung Severus deeply.
“I – I wanted to apologize,” he replied cautiously, “for earlier.”
“Don't waste your breath,” she said. “I'm not going to accept it.”
“Lily – I'm sorry! I didn't – It just . . . slipped out. I didn't mean it, I swear! Merlin, I'm so -”
“I really don't care. That's not the kind of thing that just “slips out,” Severus.” She shook her head. “I keep telling toi those Friends are no good for you, but toi won't listen. toi obviously can't see what they're doing to you, and I refuse to sit back and pretend you're not becoming one of them. I'm not doing this anymore.”
“Please?” Severus Snape fell to his knees, his pale face turned upward in desperation, his dark, stringy hair in disarray. “Please, Lily? I – I'll do anything!”
A lesser man – one whom had no idea what he could possibly loose – would have turned away. The hallway was drafty, it was late, and the stone floor was unforgiving on Severus tender knees. But Severus wasn't a lesser man and he knew exactly what was at stake – his best friend.
“But why, Severus? toi call everyone of my birth 'mudblood' – I know toi do. toi don't feel remorse about them. Why should toi for me?”
“Oh!” It felt as though a light had lit up somewhere inside him, warming him. He hadn't called any of the other muggle-borns par that name – either to their face ou behind their backs. There was a chance he could get her to see that he was serious. “B-but I haven't! Called anyone else m – par that name. Honestly, Lils,” he added, grabbing her hand to stop her from turning away when he saw she wasn't convinced.
“Honestly, I haven't. Today wasn't – I was hurt. I was hurt and embarrassed and mad that Potter tried to get toi to rendez-vous amoureux, date him like that. And the fact that it was in front of everyone . . .” He swallowed thickly. “It just came out, Lily, honestly. I didn't mean it. I'll prove it!”
A silence settled between the two uncomfortably. There wasn't a sound at all in the hallway – all the surrounding portraits were listening intently, waiting to see what would happen, just as – Severus highly suspected – the Gryffindors were on the other side of the portrait. It was eerie, to have everything depend on what that silence meant. Was she actually listening to him? Did she believe him? ou was she simply waiting for the right moment to drop the ax on their friendship and walk away?
Finally, Lily cocked her head to the side – causing her lush, auburn hair to shift across her face with the movement – and pulled her hands away as she asked, “How?”
“I – um . . . I'll apologize to everyone. The whole school. I'll apologize for what I a dit to toi and for what everyone thinks I a dit about them. I'll do it first thing in the morning. I'll stand on the staff table, if toi want - “
“You don't have to do that.” The words were spoken so softly that, at first, Severus wasn't sure he'd heard them correctly.
“What?”
Lily's eyes, usually bright, were dark and serious as she gazed down on him. “You don't have to do that, Sev.”
“Well, what then? I'm serious, Lily, toi name it and I'll do it.”
“Stop hanging out with those wanna-be Death Eaters.”
Severus blinked. “That – That's it?” Lily nodded, not taking those émeraude eyes off his face. “That's easy! I – Yeah, I can do that. I'll stop. I won't see them anymore, I promise.”
Lily took a step back and nodded once, crossing her arms. “Stop and then we'll see.”
“It's done, Lily,” Severus said, reaching for her hands. She didn't allow him to touch her, though. She took another step back and then turned away completely.
“We'll see, Severus,” was all she a dit before she disappeared into the portrait hole.
June 1976
The corridor was dark and breezy as fifteen an old Severus Snape hurried down it, determined in his plan. Unnoticed par him, portraits eyed him keenly as he passed, wondering just what the pallid Slytherin youth was doing jogging down the hallway towards the Gryffindor common room alone so late at night. Although they were all too familiar with the tension and fighting between the two houses, never before had they seen a single Slytherin ou Gryffindor rushing off to confront a large group of the other house. It almost seemed suicidal.
The portrait of the Fat Lady loomed ahead of him and Severus felt his breath catch in his throat. This was it – now ou never.
He slowed in front of her, panting, and she gazed down at him curiously. Normally, she would have reprimanded him for being here so late (or yowled for Filch, depending on how much mead she'd drunk) but the gossiper in her was far too intrigued par this odd spectacle in front of her that she didn't even think about chasing him off. “Yes?” she asked.
“I need to speak to Lily Evans,” he answered, proud of himself for keeping his voice loud and steady. Well, there was a small squeak, at first, but he doubted that the Lady had heard it.
She frowned, causing her wide face to crinkle in several places. “I'm afraid you're going to have to wait, young man. Lily entered the common room hours il y a and everyone else of the House is already inside as well.”
Severus felt his shoulders slump and cold disappointment washed through him. This was it – the end of everything. Five years of friendship gone because of one little word . . . No, he thought to himself, raising his head and clenching his jaw. No, he wouldn't allow that to happen. One way ou another, he would apologize to Lily for calling her . . . what he'd called her earlier that day.
Perhaps the Fat Lady had seen the determination spark in the youth's black eyes for she a dit warily, “I'm sorry, but there really isn't anything toi can do. Best head off.”
Severus shook his head, causing his lank hair to fall into his face. “No. I need to speak with her as soon as possible. I'll wait all night if I have to.” And with that, he sat down, leaning against the mur opposite her, and crossed his arms. For a while, she tried to persuade him to leave, come back in the morning. Originally she had found his appearance amusing, but she could get in serious trouble for letting him stay out all night. Depending on what Dumbledore thought, she might even lose her guarding place.
But a firm “no” was all she ever got. Defeated, the Fat Lady bit her lip and let him alone.
The hours passed slowly, each one gradually bleeding into the next. Severus tried to think of ways to keep himself awake; he counted the number of gray stones he could see, sorted his favori potions ingredients alphabetically in his head, ran different scenarios of how not to get his scrawny arse kicked in the morning par his fellow house-mates, but nothing worked. He could feel his eyes closing . . . his head rolling vers l'avant, vers l’avant . . .
“ Snivellus ?!” a high-pitched voice demanded, startling him awake. “What are toi doing ?”
Severus rose to his feet and licked his dry lips. Mary McDonald, a small, round girl with big blue eyes and curly blonde hair, was a favori house-mate of Lily's. Although Lily would never go so far as to call them friends, there was definitely affection in her voice when she spoke of Mary.
“I need to speak to Lily.”
Mary wrinkled her nose. “Good luck with that. She's not too happy with you.”
Severus took a deep breath. “I know. I – I wanted to apologize.”
“And toi decided to do this par sitting outside the common room?” Severus nodded once and Mary snorted, “Gonna be awfully uncomfortable.”
“Well,” Severus began slowly, “I was hoping, since, eventually, you're going to have to go back into the common room, toi could get her for me? Unless she's sleeping,” he backtracked hastily when Mary's eyes widened. “If she's sleeping, then I can just wait -”
Mary eyed him curiously. It was a very odd scrutiny; after all, it had been his Friends that had embarrassed her so cruelly. In all honesty, he was surprised that she'd stayed out and talked to him, instead of running for a teacher. “She's not sleeping,” she said, still eying him up. “But I can't guarantee she'll talk to you.”
“I know.”
Mary hesitated before nodding and turning back to the hole. Severus was on tenterhooks: would she come out? Would Mary even tell her he was out here, ou would she get back at him par keeping silent?
Finally, after what seemed like lifetimes the portrait swung open (causing the Fat Lady to huff irritably) and Lily crawled out, looking plus furious than Severus ever remembered seeing her. She walked over to him, her arms crossed tight, her lips pressed into a thin line (eerily reminiscent of Professor McGonagall), her eyes narrowed into slits as she gazed down coldly at him. For one, wild moment, Severus thought that she would whip her wand out and curse him.
“What do you want?” she asked when she reached him. Her voice was like ice – sharp and cold – and it stung Severus deeply.
“I – I wanted to apologize,” he replied cautiously, “for earlier.”
“Don't waste your breath,” she said. “I'm not going to accept it.”
“Lily – I'm sorry! I didn't – It just . . . slipped out. I didn't mean it, I swear! Merlin, I'm so -”
“I really don't care. That's not the kind of thing that just “slips out,” Severus.” She shook her head. “I keep telling toi those Friends are no good for you, but toi won't listen. toi obviously can't see what they're doing to you, and I refuse to sit back and pretend you're not becoming one of them. I'm not doing this anymore.”
“Please?” Severus Snape fell to his knees, his pale face turned upward in desperation, his dark, stringy hair in disarray. “Please, Lily? I – I'll do anything!”
A lesser man – one whom had no idea what he could possibly loose – would have turned away. The hallway was drafty, it was late, and the stone floor was unforgiving on Severus tender knees. But Severus wasn't a lesser man and he knew exactly what was at stake – his best friend.
“But why, Severus? toi call everyone of my birth 'mudblood' – I know toi do. toi don't feel remorse about them. Why should toi for me?”
“Oh!” It felt as though a light had lit up somewhere inside him, warming him. He hadn't called any of the other muggle-borns par that name – either to their face ou behind their backs. There was a chance he could get her to see that he was serious. “B-but I haven't! Called anyone else m – par that name. Honestly, Lils,” he added, grabbing her hand to stop her from turning away when he saw she wasn't convinced.
“Honestly, I haven't. Today wasn't – I was hurt. I was hurt and embarrassed and mad that Potter tried to get toi to rendez-vous amoureux, date him like that. And the fact that it was in front of everyone . . .” He swallowed thickly. “It just came out, Lily, honestly. I didn't mean it. I'll prove it!”
A silence settled between the two uncomfortably. There wasn't a sound at all in the hallway – all the surrounding portraits were listening intently, waiting to see what would happen, just as – Severus highly suspected – the Gryffindors were on the other side of the portrait. It was eerie, to have everything depend on what that silence meant. Was she actually listening to him? Did she believe him? ou was she simply waiting for the right moment to drop the ax on their friendship and walk away?
Finally, Lily cocked her head to the side – causing her lush, auburn hair to shift across her face with the movement – and pulled her hands away as she asked, “How?”
“I – um . . . I'll apologize to everyone. The whole school. I'll apologize for what I a dit to toi and for what everyone thinks I a dit about them. I'll do it first thing in the morning. I'll stand on the staff table, if toi want - “
“You don't have to do that.” The words were spoken so softly that, at first, Severus wasn't sure he'd heard them correctly.
“What?”
Lily's eyes, usually bright, were dark and serious as she gazed down on him. “You don't have to do that, Sev.”
“Well, what then? I'm serious, Lily, toi name it and I'll do it.”
“Stop hanging out with those wanna-be Death Eaters.”
Severus blinked. “That – That's it?” Lily nodded, not taking those émeraude eyes off his face. “That's easy! I – Yeah, I can do that. I'll stop. I won't see them anymore, I promise.”
Lily took a step back and nodded once, crossing her arms. “Stop and then we'll see.”
“It's done, Lily,” Severus said, reaching for her hands. She didn't allow him to touch her, though. She took another step back and then turned away completely.
“We'll see, Severus,” was all she a dit before she disappeared into the portrait hole.
