toi might be a redneck if

plus than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

toi think the stock market has a fence around it.

toi think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever Lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your bateau has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills plus than three dogs.

Your coffee table, tableau used to be a telephone cable spool.

toi keep a can of Raid on the cuisine table.

You've ever used a toilet siège as a picture frame.

Your accueil has plus miles on it than your car.