Ranma 1/2 Club
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Disclaimer: I’m not Rumiko Takahashi, and I neither own Ranma ½ nor some song lyrics in this story.
000
It was one jour before New an arrived. At the Tendos’ living room…

“Hello! Is anybody home? You’ve got mail!” – A postman knocked the door.

“I’ll get it.” – a dit Ranma. The postman gave him a yellow poster that said: “You are welcomed to our Royal New an party tonight at our restaurant! There is going to be delicious food, great games for guests, wonderful New an Countdown, etc, and the most amazing…
OUR EXCITING chant CONTEST!!!
THE WINNER RECEIVES A LOVELY PRIZE!”

“Hmm… A lovely prize for the winner huh…” – Ranma speaks to himself. – “I wonder what it is…”
Suddenly, a voice came out from upstairs: “Whoa! It looks great on toi indeed, Akane!”

“Hey!” – Shouted Ranma. – “What’s going on?”

“Hmm… Ranma…” – Akane – in her brand new cute blue dress – appeared behind him. – “I got an invitation to a New an party at the restaurant nearby, so… What do toi think? Do I look good?”

“Hmm… toi look so…” – Answered Ranma. – “…”

“UNCUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!”

SLAM!

“Ouch.” – a dit Ranma, after being hit par Akane with a thé table.

“Humph.”

Ranma stood up and took a real close look at Akane. And suddenly, his sight stopped at her chest.

“Hey Ranma! What are toi looking at?” – Asked Akane.

“Nothing… It’s just… Where did toi get that little badge?” – Ranma asked and pointed at her blue heart-shaped badge.

“If toi want to know, Ryoga-kun bought it for me!” – Akane replied. – “What do toi say about it?”

“UUUUURRRRGGGHHH… that little idiot Ryoga… He bought Akane… a HEART-SHAPED badge!!!” – Thought Ranma. He replied: “Well… it’s nice… It goes great with your dress…”

“Really? Thank you, Ranma!” – Akane smiled.

“KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!”

“Oh. I’ll get it!” – a dit Akane.

“Ohh, nihao Ranma!” – Shampoo in a pretty red Chinese-styled dress arrived with a big gift box on her hands. – “Shampoo have New an gift for you!”

“Th… thank you.” – Replied Ranma. – “Says, what’s with the dress up there?”

“Aiyaaa! I wear beautiful dress because I going to New an party at the restaurant nearby! Ranma take me there yes?”

“Hey!!!” – Akane a dit angrily.

“Ranma open gift now yes?”

“Okay…” – Ranma carefully opened the gift box. There was a lovely black tuxedo in it.

“Ranma put tux on and take me to party yes?”

“I’ll think about it.” – Replied Ranma.

“By the way Ranma, there going to be chant contest at the party! Winner receive a free trip to…”

“To China, right? Yes!… Then I can get a cure for this crazy curse! I’m putting on my tux right away, Shampoo!” – Ranma a dit in excitement.

“I no remember. I guess it is to China.” – a dit Shampoo. – “Oh! Ranma! Hurry up and take me to party!”

SPLASH!!!

“Akaneeee…!!! What was the big idea??!!!!” – Shouted Ranma in female form.

“I’m sorry Ranma, but we’re out of hot water!” – a dit Akane.

“Aiyaaa… That mean Ranma no can wear tux?” – Shampoo a dit in disappointment.

“Hmm, this should be easy. Watch this… Ta-da!” – Ranma put on an orange dress within a few seconds. – “I’m not sure I can sing well, but I may win the contest with my cuteness!”

“Ranma, toi are a jerk…” – Grunted Akane. – “Hey Shampoo, I think I’m starting to doubt about this… What if the whole thing is one of Mousse’s evil schemes on stealing toi back from Ranma? Seriously.”

“Aiyaaa! It no is mousse plan! He gone back to China for training!” – Answered Shampoo.

“Oh, thank goodness…” – a dit Ranma. Suddenly, a strange masked man appeared behind them: “Who a dit that?”

“Okay… Who are you?” – Asked Ranma.

“I am…” – The man took off his mask. – “You still remember Mousse, don’t you? He hasn’t gone back to China for training. He is standing right here in front of you, and he was on the ceiling for the whole time! He heard that the three of toi are going to a New an party, and Shampoo, it’ll be a pleasure for this man to escort toi there…” – While saying, mousse opened his arms and hugged Ranma.

“Put your glasses on, idiot!” – Ranma whacked mousse on the head with one of her shoes. –
“Shampoo is on your left!”

“Oh… Shampoo, forgive me.” – mousse a dit after putting on his glasses.

“Shampoo no want forgive stupid Mousse.” – Shampoo a dit in anger.

“Hey, there is a good news for you, silly canard boy.” – a dit Ranma. – “There is a chant contest at the party tonight, and the winner gets a free trip to China. Do toi wanna cure your curse?”

“Yes, I do! If I win, I will never have to turn into a canard again! Yeah!!” – mousse shouted out loud in excitement.

“But wait!” – a dit Akane. – “Are toi sure toi can sing? It’s a chant contest, my friend.”

“Yes I am. Let me try.” – He took a deep breath and began. – “WE WIIIISH… YOUU… A MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAAS!!! WE WISH YOUUUU A MERRYYYYY CHRIIIIIIIISTMAS!!! WEEE… WISH toi A MEEEEERRY CHRISTMAS!!! And a Happy… NEEEEEWWW…
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!”

Bam!

“Oh my god… Akane fainted! Shampoo, give me a cup of water!” – Ranma a dit in panic.

“HEY!” – Shampoo furiously shouted. – “Mousse cut it out!!!! toi break our ear!!!”

“Tell me about it.” – Ranma agreed. – “How can toi cure your canard curse if toi SOUND like a canard yourself? Hahaha…”

“Ranma… How dare you…” – mousse took out dozens of daggers from his sleeves.

“Stop it! Shampoo sing better than Mousse! I can win the contest!” – Replied Shampoo.

“Prove it.” – a dit Akane.

“Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh! Hey! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh!” – Shampoo sang with such a sweet high-pitched voice.

“Bravo! Bravo! That’s a nice performance!” – Ranma excitedly gave an applause.

“Hey Shampoo, why don’t toi think that I can sing better than you?” – Akane a dit after hitting Ranma with a thé table.

“Akane prove it!” – Replied Shampoo.

“Happy New Year, Happy New Year! May we all have a vision now and then, of the world where every neighbor is a friend… Happy New Year, Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try… If we don’t, we might as well lay down and die…” – Akane suddenly stopped and pointed at Ranma on the floor. – “Like that BAKA!!!!”

“Hmm… It sure is great… toi do have a beautiful voice, Akane!” – a dit Mousse.

“Huh. I challenge you, Akane!” – a dit Shampoo.

“Oh, I accept!” – Replied Akane. – “What are toi waiting for? LET’S FIGHT!!!!”

“This is too idiotic. Come on Mousse, ou we’ll be late for the party!” – a dit Ranma, as she and mousse left the house.

“Ranma wait for me!!!” – Yelled Shampoo.

“Huh. Go with your beloved husband. I don’t care.” – a dit Akane.

“Aiyaaa! Akane want defeat me in chant contest yes?” – Replied Shampoo.

“Okay… I’m going…” – Answered Akane.

oOo

As the group went down the street, they heard a strange voice singing: “I wanna wish toi a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish toi a Merry Christmas, I wanna wish toi a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart! Oh, is that Akane Tendo? Along with the beautiful Pigtailed Girl? Oh my sweethearts, I shall escort toi two to the Royal New an party!”

“It’s Kuno… Don’t mind everyone, just act as if he were not here!” – a dit Akane, and all four of them just kept their head down. Suddenly…

“Pigtailed Girl! I l’amour toi so much! I want toi to come with me to the par…”

“EEEK! He hugged me from behind!!” – Screamed Ranma. She kicked him hard in the face. – “What do toi want, toi jerk Kuno?!!”

“I want to have a rendez-vous amoureux, date with my beautiful ladies!” – Kuno replied in tears.

“You... you…” – Ranma almost kicked him again and suddenly changed her voice: “Heyyy, Kuno-sembai! toi wanna have a rendez-vous amoureux, date with me, right? If toi beat me in a chant challenge, I promise I’ll go out with you! If toi lose…”

“You’ll leave in PEACE and in PIECES!” – a dit Akane.

“Why don’t toi go first, Kuno-darling?” – Asked Ranma.

“Okay, here I go. Feliz Navidad…” – Kuno began singing. Meanwhile, Akane, Ranma, Shampoo and mousse silently walked away.

“Phew. Luckily we run away. Kuno worse singer than Mousse!” – Shampoo breathed hardly.

“Tell me about it. He totally broke my ears!” – mousse agreed.

“Just run away before Kuno finds out, guys.” – a dit Akane, and the group ran as fast as they can.
As the pack continued their walk, they heard a strange voice again: “La la la la, la la la la, la la la la…”

“I heard that extremely high voice somewhere… Uh-oh, Kodachi Kuno is coming! What are we gonna do?” – Ranma confusedly asked.

“I know! Guys, cover your ears! Mousse, sing right now!” – a dit Akane.

“Okay, if toi insist. Ahem… WEE… WIIIIISH…”

“AAAAHHH!!! What is that HOOOORIBLE sound! Oh, it is killing me! HEEELP ME, RANMA-SAMA, IF toi CAN HEAR ME FROM HERE!! AAAAHHH!!” – Kodachi screamed and fainted.

“Thanks a lot, pal.” – Ranma smiled.

“Get serious, guys. Do I sing that badly?” – Asked Mousse.

“No. Not at all.” – Ranma replied, while she was thinking: “Oh man, I swear his voice sounds like a horn!”

They continued walking down the rue and encountered Mikado Sanzenin and Azusa Shiratori.

“Oh, is that the beautiful Ranma Saotome? Oh, my lovely girl, I shall give toi a Happy New an Kiss for tonight!” – Sanzenin a dit as he began to get his lips closer to Ranma’s.

“JERK! Who a dit that toi can Kiss me?!” – Ranma punched Sanzenin right in the left eye. – “Leave us alone!”. Meanwhile, Azusa takes a close look at mousse and finally climbed up on his back.

“Aahh! So cute! Olivia! Olivia! Give me my Olivia! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!” – Azusa took out her hammer and smacked Mousse’s head at every “GIMME!”. Well, toi know, she wanted Mousse’s glasses – which she calls “Olivia” – and tried to take them off from his forehead.

“Spoiled brat!” – Shampoo angrily shouted as she knocked Azusa off from Mousse’s back. – “Why toi mess with Mousse?”

“Shampoo! You’re finally worried about me!” – Cried Mousse.

“The legendary Golden Pair.” – a dit Akane. – “I challenge you! If toi want to mess with us, toi must beat us in a chant challenge right now! We will go first! Start now, guys!”

“Silent night, Holy night…”

“Huh. toi guys are such amateurs!” – a dit Azusa.

“Listen carefully, losers.” – Sanzenin smiled as if he won. And then, the pair began: “... Oh what fun it is tonight in a one-horse open sleigh!!!”

“That was… perfect!” – Ranma a dit in disappointment.

“Aiyaa! What we do now?” – Shampoo confusedly asked.

“Hey! There’s a lovely little bird!” – Ranma pointed to the sky.

“Where? Where? Where’s the bird? I WANT MY HANNAH!! AAAHHH!!!” – Azusa began to cry.

“Let’s go, guys.” – Akane a dit and the pack walked away in peace.

oOo

The Royal New an party at Sakura restaurant.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our chant contest!” – a dit the host.

“Okay guys. Who’s gonna do this?” – Asked Akane.

“Mousse, if toi go there, I splash you!” – Shampoo threatened mousse and said: “I want compete!”

“Hmm… I think I’ll let Ranma do this. This “winning a trip to China” thing is all HIS idea, so I’ll let him compete using his “cuteness”. Let’s see if that idiot wins…” – Akane pushed Ranma onto the stage.

“That girl is so cute!”

“So lovely!”

“I’m cheering hard for you, Pigtailed Girl!”

“Eh? Kuno? What is that jerk doing here?” – Thought Ranma.

“So, what’s your name?” – The host asked her.

“Um… I’m Ranma Saotome.” – Replied Ranma.

“Ladies and gentlemen, lovely Ranma Saotome here is going to give us a great performance! A big applause please!!!”

“Woo-hoo! Go Pigtailed Girl!” – Kuno’s shout must be the loudest one of all, and that gives Ranma a thought: “Yeah, if I win the contest, I can go to China and get rid of this stupid curse, and there would be no plus “Pigtailed Girl”! I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!!!”

And here we go, Ranma began her performance:

“Happy New Year! Happy New Year! May we all have a vision now and then, of the world where every neighbor is a friend… Happy New Year! Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try… If we don’t, we might as well lay down and die…
toi and I!
And I!”

“Great job!”

“Such a sweet singer, don’t toi think?”

“I think she’ll win the contest for sure!”



“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the chant contest tonight is… Ranma Saotome!!!”

“Oh my god… am I dreaming? Akane, slap me!” – a dit Ranma.

SLAP!

“Hee hee! No, you’re not!” – Akane giggled after slapping Ranma’s right cheek really hard.

“Akane, you’re so uncute!” – Ranma replied. Akane slapped her other cheek.

“I’m not a canard any more… La la la…”

“Aiyaaa! mousse begin singing! Ranma, cover his mouth! ” – a dit Shampoo.

“Heyyy… What is the meaning of this?!” – mousse angrily a dit with his mouth covered par Ranma. Akane and Shampoo burst laughed.

“And the winner received a trip to…”

oOo

“RANMAAAAA!!! toi HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS!!!” – mousse furiously shouted and sneezed: “Ah choo!!! What are we going to do?”

“Ranma, what the meaning of this?” - Shampoo also angrily asked.

“Forggg… give me, gggg… guys!” – Ranma shook under the freezing cold wind and snow. – “I didn’t knnnnn… now that th… th.. ah choo! This was a trip to… to… MOSCOW!!!!!”

“Ranma…” – Akane shook under fury. – “RANMA NO BAKAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!”

“Aahh!!! AKANEEEEE!!! St… t… haut, retour au début it, would you! Ah CHOOOOOO!!!”

***The End***
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