February, 2, 2010, I was sitting backstage texting Chris when someone knocked on the door. The montrer was over so I was wondering who it could be. I opened the door and said” fans are not allowed to be back here right now, sorry”. The teenage boy said” come on A.J, toi have to remember me”. I said” no, I don’t think I know who toi are”!!! He said” it’s me Jake”!!! I a dit “oh, let me guess… toi are here to stomp all over my cœur, coeur again”? He said” please don’t call security, I need your help”!!! I raised my eye brows and said” with what”? He walked into the room and put a car siège on the couch. I said” are toi babysitting for someone”? He sat down and said” Alanna, this is my son Sam”!!! I looked at the newborn baby and said” wow…you just turned 16 and toi already have a kid”!!! He said” his mother died during labor and I’m addicted to drugs”!!! I looked down at all the needle marks on his arms and said” so what are toi trying to say”. His eyes started to water as he said” my dad kicked me out because I won’t go to rehab”. He took out a piece of paper and said” please do this for Sammy’s sake”!!! I looked at it and at the haut, retour au début it read, COURT OPOINTED CUSTODY AGREEMENT. I said” why are toi montrer me this”? He said” if someone doesn’t take over guardianship, the baby will go into foster care….please”!!! I said” I’m not ready for a baby, I haven’t seen toi in 3 years and you’re going to leave me to take care of your kid”!!! He said” if your Grandmother can have temporary custody till toi are 18…just please sign this”!!! Then he said” your Grandma is not happy about it…she knows toi don’t have the cœur, coeur to turn me down and agreed to take care of him while toi are on tour”. I took the baby out of his arms and slowly signed my name on the line. He said” thank toi so much”!!! I said” go just GO”!!! He left and I sat down and dialed Chris’s number:
Chris: salut honey
Me: let me guess my Grandmother told toi about the baby.
Chris: yup
Me: I couldn’t let the poor thing go into the foster care system.
Chris: I told my dad and he a dit that I should help toi out as much as I can.
Me: I can’t believe Grandma told Jake I would take the baby; I’m still a kid
Chris: well, she obviously trusts toi and I can’t wait to meet my new son!!!
Me: wow toi really are committed to this relationship.
Chris: do toi like his name?
Me: I like it but, he needs a fresh start.
Chris: any names that toi like?
Me: I was just looking at some and I like the name Reegan Michael Jackson because Reegan means little king…Stop trying to change the subject, I’m freaked out Chris and I am still figuring out what just happened…. I need toi to come here!!!
Chris: toi did the right thing…at least Reegan will be able to meet his dad someday...if Jake is not dead.
Me: I don’t think toi get it, this is not a chiot it’s a human being. I can’t talk to my family right now…tell them that I’ll drop Reegan off before my L.A concert, I have my truck…bye Christopher!!!
Chris: I l’amour toi A.J, I don’t want to fight with you!!!
Me: [Dial tone]
I was sitting there and Reegan started crying; I picked him up and sat back down. I said” it’s alright…I’m here…I’ll never stop loving you”!!! Uncle Frank came in the room and said” some cops just found Jake on the side of the road; he shot and killed himself”!!! i said” now I am grateful that I took the baby”!!! He saw me struggling to make a bottle of formula and came over to help me. I tested the lait on my skin and put the bottle in Reegan’s mouth. As I was feeding him I thought about how much my life is going to change and it’s all because of my ex-boyfriend. It’s also because of him that I’m going to have to grow up, change my attitude, and be a good mother to my son!!! We left the concert arena and went back to the hotel. When we got up to our room I had to call room service for a lit de bébé and the guy on the other line said” is this Alanna Jackson”? I said” look; can toi just get me a crib, thanks”!!! I hung up the phone and Jeff said” so toi ready for your new life”? I said” I still get to be a superstar right”? Jeff said” of course toi do; toi just have to be a mom first”. They brought the lit de bébé to my room and I kissed Reegan while I put him in it.
“
February, 3, 2010, I woke up 8 times last night to Reegan crying and now it’s starting to sink in that I’m his mother!!! I have had to change over 15 diapers since he has been with me; which is not fun at 2 in the morning!!! As we were walking out to the parking lot I said” I’ll meet toi guys at my Grandmother’s house, I have to leave my truck there”. When they started driving away I had to figure out how to set the car siège up in my truck. I got the base hooked in after 20 minutes. The hardest part was getting the siège ceinture in the right spot. I got so frustrated with it that I ended breaking the siège belt. After 30 minutes of getting the car siège set up on the other side of the truck it finally worked. I drove to Havenhurst and took Reegan out of his car seat. I walked inside with him in my arms and Prince said” can I hold my nephew”? I said” after I leave toi can”. Grandma walked into the room and said” I l’amour you”!!! I a dit while carrying Reegan upstairs” I can’t stand toi right now”!!! I walked into my room and slammed the door shut. Aunt Latoya came in the room and sat down on the lit suivant to me. She put her arm around me and said” the pressures of life getting to you”? I said” I didn’t ask for all this…I’m not cut out to be a mom; the worst part is that he is not my kid”…..
Chris: salut honey
Me: let me guess my Grandmother told toi about the baby.
Chris: yup
Me: I couldn’t let the poor thing go into the foster care system.
Chris: I told my dad and he a dit that I should help toi out as much as I can.
Me: I can’t believe Grandma told Jake I would take the baby; I’m still a kid
Chris: well, she obviously trusts toi and I can’t wait to meet my new son!!!
Me: wow toi really are committed to this relationship.
Chris: do toi like his name?
Me: I like it but, he needs a fresh start.
Chris: any names that toi like?
Me: I was just looking at some and I like the name Reegan Michael Jackson because Reegan means little king…Stop trying to change the subject, I’m freaked out Chris and I am still figuring out what just happened…. I need toi to come here!!!
Chris: toi did the right thing…at least Reegan will be able to meet his dad someday...if Jake is not dead.
Me: I don’t think toi get it, this is not a chiot it’s a human being. I can’t talk to my family right now…tell them that I’ll drop Reegan off before my L.A concert, I have my truck…bye Christopher!!!
Chris: I l’amour toi A.J, I don’t want to fight with you!!!
Me: [Dial tone]
I was sitting there and Reegan started crying; I picked him up and sat back down. I said” it’s alright…I’m here…I’ll never stop loving you”!!! Uncle Frank came in the room and said” some cops just found Jake on the side of the road; he shot and killed himself”!!! i said” now I am grateful that I took the baby”!!! He saw me struggling to make a bottle of formula and came over to help me. I tested the lait on my skin and put the bottle in Reegan’s mouth. As I was feeding him I thought about how much my life is going to change and it’s all because of my ex-boyfriend. It’s also because of him that I’m going to have to grow up, change my attitude, and be a good mother to my son!!! We left the concert arena and went back to the hotel. When we got up to our room I had to call room service for a lit de bébé and the guy on the other line said” is this Alanna Jackson”? I said” look; can toi just get me a crib, thanks”!!! I hung up the phone and Jeff said” so toi ready for your new life”? I said” I still get to be a superstar right”? Jeff said” of course toi do; toi just have to be a mom first”. They brought the lit de bébé to my room and I kissed Reegan while I put him in it.
“
February, 3, 2010, I woke up 8 times last night to Reegan crying and now it’s starting to sink in that I’m his mother!!! I have had to change over 15 diapers since he has been with me; which is not fun at 2 in the morning!!! As we were walking out to the parking lot I said” I’ll meet toi guys at my Grandmother’s house, I have to leave my truck there”. When they started driving away I had to figure out how to set the car siège up in my truck. I got the base hooked in after 20 minutes. The hardest part was getting the siège ceinture in the right spot. I got so frustrated with it that I ended breaking the siège belt. After 30 minutes of getting the car siège set up on the other side of the truck it finally worked. I drove to Havenhurst and took Reegan out of his car seat. I walked inside with him in my arms and Prince said” can I hold my nephew”? I said” after I leave toi can”. Grandma walked into the room and said” I l’amour you”!!! I a dit while carrying Reegan upstairs” I can’t stand toi right now”!!! I walked into my room and slammed the door shut. Aunt Latoya came in the room and sat down on the lit suivant to me. She put her arm around me and said” the pressures of life getting to you”? I said” I didn’t ask for all this…I’m not cut out to be a mom; the worst part is that he is not my kid”…..