Niall Horan Fanfic Chapter 21: My cœur, coeur Will Go On
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He a dit his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat suivant to me.
“Hazel?” he a dit questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for toi every step of the way. Not just Niall. toi can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He a dit putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in lit back at the hotel. I don’t know how ou when I got there, ou how ou when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are toi going to get up?” he a dit sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me toi know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I a dit nodding my head.
“Ally,” he a dit pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want toi to be happy. To get up every jour and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved toi and would want toi to go on, with ou without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I a dit half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I a dit beginning to cry.
“Of course toi will.” He a dit grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his cœur, coeur beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I a dit again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die ou leave you.” He a dit s’embrasser my head.
“Niall, I l’amour you.” I said.
“I l’amour toi too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since toi couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go accueil and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I a dit beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall a dit rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, toi were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is toi fault. toi are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are toi going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick toi up from the airport. Everything will be okay. toi don’t have to do anything toi aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will toi come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I a dit shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going accueil today, actually in a half an heure I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. par the time toi get accueil I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking toi to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I a dit calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we a dit our goodbyes.
“I l’amour toi okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I l’amour you.” He said.
“I l’amour toi too.” I a dit s’embrasser him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all jour and night sitting on the canapé watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do toi want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze toi haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall a dit about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I a dit mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. toi are still alive, and toi need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The suivant jour Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see toi soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove accueil in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
salut babe :)Be ready par 4 p.m. I l’amour toi babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I l’amour him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
I couldn’t breathe. He must be lying. This couldn’t be happening right? I was asleep and this was a nightmare.
“You’re kidding right? Like this is all some joke. Niall it’s not funny. Stop.” I said.
“Hazel, I’m so sorry.” He a dit his eyes were shining with tears.
“Niall?” I whispered and then I collapsed.
My body folded over and my head fell into Niall’s lap. Niall and I had been the only ones on the bus, but I had a feeling that everyone else knew.
I stayed like that for a while just sobbing into Niall. He rubbed my back and my head. I couldn’t believe my best friend had died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
A little while later everyone else came on the bus. I was sitting with my head on my knees. I wasn’t crying anymore. It felt like I was living in a dead state. Nothing mattered. Harry came and sat suivant to me.
“Hazel?” he a dit questioningly.
I couldn’t speak, but I turned my head to him face him in response.
“I know you’re sad. But we are all here for toi every step of the way. Not just Niall. toi can come to any of us, for anything, whenever.” He a dit putting his arm around me.
I buried my head in his neck and cried. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was sobbing again. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe. How could everything have gone so wrong so fast?
I somehow ended up in lit back at the hotel. I don’t know how ou when I got there, ou how ou when I was going to leave. How could I possibly perform, I couldn’t even breathe without thinking of Ally and how she should be here. Alive.
There was a knock at the door. I couldn’t even get up to see who it was. Half of my life was missing. The knock got louder. I was starting to get really annoyed.
“Hazel!” someone shouted from outside the door.
“GO AWAY!” I screamed.
The door opened and Niall walked in.
“Hazel, you’ve been in here for two weeks. When are toi going to get up?” he a dit sympathetically.
I’d been here for two weeks. I thought I’d been here only one day. I didn’t know where time was going. I honestly didn’t care.
“You can talk to me toi know.” Niall said. He looked sad.
“Yeah.” I a dit nodding my head.
“Ally,” he a dit pausing slightly to look up and see my reaction at the name, seeing I was okay he continued, “She, she would want toi to be happy. To get up every jour and live your life. Live for her Hazel. Moping around and stopping your life won’t bring her back. She loved toi and would want toi to go on, with ou without her. You’ll be okay. She’s somewhere up there watching over you.”
“Niall?” I a dit half whispering.
“Yeah?” he answered.
“Will I ever be okay again?” I a dit beginning to cry.
“Of course toi will.” He a dit grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
I buried my face in his arm. I cried softly. I could feel his cœur, coeur beating. I could feel the warmth of his skin on mine, his breath on my head as he exhaled. I took in his smell. He was here. I needed him.
“Niall?” I a dit again.
“Yeah?” he answered again.
“Will I ever lose you?” I said.
“Hazel, no, just because Ally is gone doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die ou leave you.” He a dit s’embrasser my head.
“Niall, I l’amour you.” I said.
“I l’amour toi too.” He answered.
We stayed like that for a while. Him holding me and slowly rocking me back and forth.
“Did I already miss the wake and funeral?” I asked him.
“Yeah, they happened a few days ago. I bought a condolence card and signed your name on it and sent it to Ally’s family, since toi couldn’t go.” He said.
“I’m such a terrible friend.” I whispered.
“What? No don’t say that.” He said.
“I was too busy crying over me to go accueil and attend her funeral. They’ll only bury her once. I can’t make up for that.” I a dit beginning to hyperventilate.
“No Hazel, no stop.” Niall a dit rubbing my back.
“I’ll never be able to face her family.” I said.
“They’ll understand Hazel, toi were grieving over her. Stop beating yourself up over this. Nothing is toi fault. toi are okay.” He said.
I kept crying. Nothing could make me feel better.
“We should probably pack your stuff.” Niall said.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“The tour, it’s over. We have a flight tomorrow.” He said.
“Am I going home?” I asked.
“Yes. You’re going back to Boston.” He said.
“Where are toi going?” I asked.
“Ireland.” He mumbled.
“I have to go back alone?” I asked, starting to panic.
“Hazel, you’ll be fine. Trust me. I called your parents and they’ll pick toi up from the airport. Everything will be okay. toi don’t have to do anything toi aren’t ready to do.” He said.
“Will toi come and visit me? I won’t be able to make it without you.” I a dit shaking my head.
“Of course, I’m going accueil today, actually in a half an heure I have to leave, I’ll be there for two days. You’re leaving here tomorrow night. par the time toi get accueil I’ll be there. The boys, Eleanor, and Danielle are taking toi to the airport tomorrow. Everything will be okay.” He said.
“Okay.” I a dit calming down.
Niall packed my suitcases and then we a dit our goodbyes.
“I l’amour toi okay. Don’t forget that. I’m okay and so are you. I l’amour you.” He said.
“I l’amour toi too.” I a dit s’embrasser him.
He smiled at me and then walked away. I went and found Harry. He walked me into his room and brought my suitcases. I was going to stay with him until we had to leave. We spent all jour and night sitting on the canapé watching T.V.
“I’m starving. Do toi want anything?” he asked.
“No.” I said.
“Haze toi haven’t eaten in weeks, literally, wanna go out for ice cream?” he asked.
I was about to say no when I remembered what Niall a dit about Ally wanting me to live on. I wanted to live for her.
“Yeah.” I a dit mustering up the best smile I could.
“Cool.” Harry said.
We went out for ice cream and I had a really good time. I felt guilty that I was having fun while Ally was dead. I told Harry.
“Hazel, listen, it’s not your fault she died. Not having fun isn’t going to do anything for anyone. toi are still alive, and toi need to live.” He said.
I nodded. That made me fell a lot better.
The suivant jour Harry took me to the airport. He hugged me goodbye and I didn’t want him to let go.
“I’ll see toi soon, yeah?” he said.
“Yeah.” I answered.
I boarded the plane and took my seat. When we were up in the sky all I could think of was that Ally was up here too. I stared out the window the whole time until I got home. My parents greeted me at the airport. We drove accueil in silence. When I got there I went straight to me room. There were pictures of me and Ally everywhere. I almost took them down, but then I realized I wanted them there seeing her made me feel close to her.
I checked my phone and got a missed text from Niall.
From Niall:
salut babe :)Be ready par 4 p.m. I l’amour toi babe :)xx wear black btw.
I got dressed and waited outside. A black limo pulled up to my house. Niall stepped out in a black suit. I l’amour him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just get in.” he said.
I got in the limo and we drove away. I was really confused.
