This is the letter Carter wrote Abby when he was in the Congo. I found it on NBC's website, and thought I'd share it with you! Enjoy!
Dear Abby,
par the time toi read this letter, Luka should be sûr, sans danger in America and toi will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before toi go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if toi could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe toi will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, toi know? When I think back on our last an together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that toi don't.
You're much stronger than toi think. toi don't need me, Abby, and I don't think toi ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point toi convinced yourself that I was the right guy for toi - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what toi really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what toi expected, and toi didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave toi as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were plus important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any plus kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. toi are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
Dear Abby,
par the time toi read this letter, Luka should be sûr, sans danger in America and toi will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before toi go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if toi could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe toi will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, toi know? When I think back on our last an together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that toi don't.
You're much stronger than toi think. toi don't need me, Abby, and I don't think toi ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point toi convinced yourself that I was the right guy for toi - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what toi really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what toi expected, and toi didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave toi as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were plus important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any plus kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. toi are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
