Definitions:
string quartet: a good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists, all getting together to complain about composers.
detaché: an indication that the trombones are to play with their slides removed.
glissando: a technique adopted par string players for difficult runs.
subito piano: indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.
risoluto: indicates to orchestras that they are to stubbornly maintain the correct tempo no matter what the conductor tries to do.
senza sordino: a term used to remind the player that he forgot to put his mute on a few measures back.
preparatory beat: a threat made to singers, i.e., sing, ou else....
crescendo: a reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loudly.
conductor: a musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.
clef: something to jump from before the viola solo.
transposition: the act of moving the relative pitch of a piece of musique that is too low for the basses to a point where it is too high for the sopranos.
vibrato: used par singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.
half step: the pace used par a cellist when carrying hi instrument.
coloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.
chromatic scale: an instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds.
bar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician ou two.
ad libitum: a premiere.
beat: what musique students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on haut, retour au début of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.
cadence: when everybody hopes you're going to stop, but toi don't.
diatonic: low-calorie Schweppes.
lamentoso: with handkerchiefs.
virtuoso: a musician with very high morals. (I know one)
music: a complex organizations of sounds that is set down par the composer, incorrectly interpreted par the conductor, who is ignored par the musicians, the result of which is ignored par the audience.
oboe: an ill wind that nobody blows good.
tenor: two hours before a nooner.
diminished fifth: an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.
perfect fifth: a full bottle of Jack Daniels.
ritard: there's one in every family.
relative major: an uncle in the Marine Corps.
relative minor: a girlfriend.
big band: when the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.
pianissimo: "refill this bière bottle".
repeat: what toi do until they just expel you.
treble: women ain't nothin' but.
bass: the things toi run around in softball.
portamento: a foreign country you've always wanted to see.
conductor: the man who punches your ticket to Birmingham.
arpeggio: "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"
tempo: good choice for a used car.
A 440: the highway that runs around Nashville.
transpositions:
men who wear dresses.
An advanced recorder technique where toi change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece
cut time:
parole.
when everyone else is playing twice as fast as toi are.
order of sharps: what a wimp gets at the bar.
passing tone: frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues.
middle C: the only fruit drink toi can afford when nourriture stamps are low.
perfect pitch: the smooth coating on a freshly paved road.
tuba: a compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!"
cadenza:
that ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes.
The heroine in Monteverdi's opera Frottola
whole note: what's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year.
clef: what toi try never to fall off of.
basse, bass clef: where toi wind up if toi do fall off.
altos: not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" ou "Dori-toes".
minor third: your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling.
melodic minor: loretta Lynn's chant dad.
12-tone scale: the thing the State Police weigh your tracteur trailer truck with.
quarter tone: what most standard pickups can haul.
sonata: what toi get from a bad cold ou foins, hay fever.
clarinet: name used on your seconde daughter if you've already used Betty Jo.
cello: the proper way to answer the phone.
bassoon:
typical response when asked what toi hope to catch, and when.
a bedpost with a bad case of gas.
french horn: your wife says toi smell like a cheap one when toi come in at 4 a.m.
cymbal: what they use on deer-crossing signs so toi know what to sight-in your pistol with.
bossa nova: the car your foreman drives.
time signature: what toi need from your boss if toi forget to clock in.
first inversion: grandpa's battle group at Normandy.
staccato: how toi did all the ceilings in your mobile home.
major scale: what toi say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!"
aeolian mode: how toi like Mama's cerise pie.
bach chorale: the place behind the grange where toi keep the horses.
plague: a collective noun, as in "a plague of conductors."
audition: the act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.
accidentals: wronng notes.
augmented fifth: a 36-ounce bottle.
broken consort: when someone in the ensemble has to leave to go to the bathroom.
cantus firmus: the part toi get when toi can play only four notes.
chansons de geste: dirty songs.
clausula: Mrs. Santa Claus.
crotchet:
a tritone with a bent prong.
like knitting, but faster.
ducita: a lot of mallards.
embouchure the way toi look when you've been playing the Krummhorn.
estampie: what they put on letters in Quebec.
garglefinklein: a tiny recorder played par neums.
hocket: the thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett.
interval: how long it takes to find the right note. There are three kinds:
Major interval: a long time.
Minor interval: a few bars.
Inverted interval: when toi have to go back a bar and try again.
intonation: chant through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages.
isorhythmic motet: when half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half.
minnesinger: a boy soprano.
musica ficta: when toi lose your place and have to bluff until toi find it again.
neums: renaissance midgets.
neumatic melishma: a bronchial disorder caused par hockets.
ordo: the hero in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.
rota: an early Italian method of teaching musique without score ou parts.
trotto: an early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge.
lauda: the difference between shawms and krummhorns.
sancta: Clausula's husband.
lasso: the 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale.
di lasso: populaire with Italian cowboys.
quaver: beginning viol class.
rackett: capped reeds class
ritornello: a Verdi opera.
sine proprietate: cussing in church.
supertonic: Schweppes.
trope: a malevolent neum.
tutti: a lot of sackbuts.
stops: something Bach didn't have on his organ.
agnus dei: a famous female church composer.
metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.
allegro: leg fertilizer.
recitative: a disease that Monteverdi had.
transsectional: an alto who moves to the soprano section.
string quartet: a good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists, all getting together to complain about composers.
detaché: an indication that the trombones are to play with their slides removed.
glissando: a technique adopted par string players for difficult runs.
subito piano: indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.
risoluto: indicates to orchestras that they are to stubbornly maintain the correct tempo no matter what the conductor tries to do.
senza sordino: a term used to remind the player that he forgot to put his mute on a few measures back.
preparatory beat: a threat made to singers, i.e., sing, ou else....
crescendo: a reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loudly.
conductor: a musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.
clef: something to jump from before the viola solo.
transposition: the act of moving the relative pitch of a piece of musique that is too low for the basses to a point where it is too high for the sopranos.
vibrato: used par singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.
half step: the pace used par a cellist when carrying hi instrument.
coloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.
chromatic scale: an instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds.
bar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician ou two.
ad libitum: a premiere.
beat: what musique students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on haut, retour au début of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.
cadence: when everybody hopes you're going to stop, but toi don't.
diatonic: low-calorie Schweppes.
lamentoso: with handkerchiefs.
virtuoso: a musician with very high morals. (I know one)
music: a complex organizations of sounds that is set down par the composer, incorrectly interpreted par the conductor, who is ignored par the musicians, the result of which is ignored par the audience.
oboe: an ill wind that nobody blows good.
tenor: two hours before a nooner.
diminished fifth: an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.
perfect fifth: a full bottle of Jack Daniels.
ritard: there's one in every family.
relative major: an uncle in the Marine Corps.
relative minor: a girlfriend.
big band: when the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.
pianissimo: "refill this bière bottle".
repeat: what toi do until they just expel you.
treble: women ain't nothin' but.
bass: the things toi run around in softball.
portamento: a foreign country you've always wanted to see.
conductor: the man who punches your ticket to Birmingham.
arpeggio: "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"
tempo: good choice for a used car.
A 440: the highway that runs around Nashville.
transpositions:
men who wear dresses.
An advanced recorder technique where toi change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece
cut time:
parole.
when everyone else is playing twice as fast as toi are.
order of sharps: what a wimp gets at the bar.
passing tone: frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues.
middle C: the only fruit drink toi can afford when nourriture stamps are low.
perfect pitch: the smooth coating on a freshly paved road.
tuba: a compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!"
cadenza:
that ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes.
The heroine in Monteverdi's opera Frottola
whole note: what's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year.
clef: what toi try never to fall off of.
basse, bass clef: where toi wind up if toi do fall off.
altos: not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" ou "Dori-toes".
minor third: your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling.
melodic minor: loretta Lynn's chant dad.
12-tone scale: the thing the State Police weigh your tracteur trailer truck with.
quarter tone: what most standard pickups can haul.
sonata: what toi get from a bad cold ou foins, hay fever.
clarinet: name used on your seconde daughter if you've already used Betty Jo.
cello: the proper way to answer the phone.
bassoon:
typical response when asked what toi hope to catch, and when.
a bedpost with a bad case of gas.
french horn: your wife says toi smell like a cheap one when toi come in at 4 a.m.
cymbal: what they use on deer-crossing signs so toi know what to sight-in your pistol with.
bossa nova: the car your foreman drives.
time signature: what toi need from your boss if toi forget to clock in.
first inversion: grandpa's battle group at Normandy.
staccato: how toi did all the ceilings in your mobile home.
major scale: what toi say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!"
aeolian mode: how toi like Mama's cerise pie.
bach chorale: the place behind the grange where toi keep the horses.
plague: a collective noun, as in "a plague of conductors."
audition: the act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.
accidentals: wronng notes.
augmented fifth: a 36-ounce bottle.
broken consort: when someone in the ensemble has to leave to go to the bathroom.
cantus firmus: the part toi get when toi can play only four notes.
chansons de geste: dirty songs.
clausula: Mrs. Santa Claus.
crotchet:
a tritone with a bent prong.
like knitting, but faster.
ducita: a lot of mallards.
embouchure the way toi look when you've been playing the Krummhorn.
estampie: what they put on letters in Quebec.
garglefinklein: a tiny recorder played par neums.
hocket: the thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett.
interval: how long it takes to find the right note. There are three kinds:
Major interval: a long time.
Minor interval: a few bars.
Inverted interval: when toi have to go back a bar and try again.
intonation: chant through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages.
isorhythmic motet: when half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half.
minnesinger: a boy soprano.
musica ficta: when toi lose your place and have to bluff until toi find it again.
neums: renaissance midgets.
neumatic melishma: a bronchial disorder caused par hockets.
ordo: the hero in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.
rota: an early Italian method of teaching musique without score ou parts.
trotto: an early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge.
lauda: the difference between shawms and krummhorns.
sancta: Clausula's husband.
lasso: the 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale.
di lasso: populaire with Italian cowboys.
quaver: beginning viol class.
rackett: capped reeds class
ritornello: a Verdi opera.
sine proprietate: cussing in church.
supertonic: Schweppes.
trope: a malevolent neum.
tutti: a lot of sackbuts.
stops: something Bach didn't have on his organ.
agnus dei: a famous female church composer.
metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.
allegro: leg fertilizer.
recitative: a disease that Monteverdi had.
transsectional: an alto who moves to the soprano section.
