posted by AcidBanter
Kirk: And they will be again, that's the beauty of it.
[to the Antique Store Owner]
Kirk: How much?
Antique Store Owner: Well, they'd be worth plus if the lenses were intact. I'll give toi one hundred dollars for them.
Kirk: [pause] Is that a lot?
[Kirk and Spock enter a bus headed for the aquarium - only to exit the bus about two secondes later]
Spock: [to Kirk] What does it mean, "exact change"?
Punk on bus: [Playing loud musique on the bus]
Kirk: Excuse me.
Punk on bus: [He ignores him]
Kirk: Excuse me. Would toi mind stopping that noise?
Punk on bus: [He turns it up louder]
Kirk: [louder and firmer] Excuse me! Would toi mind stopping that damn noise?
Punk on bus: [He flips him off]
Kirk: [He looks at Spock]
Spock: [He gives the punk the Vulcan neck-pinch, followed par the delighted applause of the grateful bus passengers]
Spock: Admiral, may I ask toi a question?
Kirk: Spock, don't call me "Admiral". toi used to call me Jim. Don't toi remember, "Jim"?
Spock: [He gives a blank look]
Kirk: [He gives up] What's your question?
[Spock is still learning how to use profanity correctly]
Spock: They like toi very much, but they are not the hell "your" whales.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: I suppose they told toi that.
Spock: The *hell* they did.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do toi guys like Italian?
Kirk: I l’amour Italian,
[looks at Spock]
Kirk: And so do you.
Spock: Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall we say, plus colorful metaphors, "double dumbass on you" and so forth.
Kirk: Oh, toi mean the profanity?
Kirk: Well that's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to toi unless toi swear every other word.
Kirk: Spock, where the Hell's the power toi promised?
Spock: One damn minute, Admiral.
Kirk: If we play our cards right, we may be able to find out when those whales are being released.
Spock: How will playing cards help?
McCoy: I mean, I may have carried your soul, but I sure couldn't fill your shoes.
Spock: My shoes?
McCoy: Forget it.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Sure toi won't change your mind?
Spock: Is there something wrong with the one I have?
Kirk: Mr. Spock, have toi accounted for the variable mass of whales and water in your time re-entry program?
Spock: Mr. Scott cannot give me exact figures, Admiral, so... I will make a guess.
Kirk: A guess? You, Spock? That's extraordinary.
Spock: [to Dr. McCoy] I don't think he understands.
McCoy: No, Spock. He means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people's facts.
Spock: Then you're saying,
Spock: It is a compliment?
McCoy: It is.
Spock: Ah. Then, I will try to make the best guess I can.
Spock: Are toi sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?
[Kirk has just spoken very abruptly to Mr. Scott]
Scotty: He's in a wee bit of a snit, isn't he?
Spock: He is a man of deep feelings.
Scotty: Aye, what else is new?
Kirk: You're not exactly catching us at our best.
Spock: That much is certain.
Gillian: You're not from the military are you? Trying to teach whales to retrieve torpedoes ou some dipshit stuff like that?
Kirk: No, ma'am. No dipshit.
Gillian: Well, good. That was one thing, I would have dropped toi off right here.
Spock: Gracie is pregnant.
[Gillian breaks to a sudden stop]
Federation Council president: Captain Spock, toi do not stand accused.
Spock: Mister President, I stand with my shipmates.
Federation Council president: As toi wish.
Amanda: Spock, does the good of the many out weigh the good of the one?
Spock: I would accept that as an axiom.
Amanda: Then toi stand here alive because of a mistake made par your flawed, feeling, human friends. They have sacrificed their futures because they believed that the good of the one - toi - was plus important to them.
Spock: Humans make illogical decisions.
Amanda: They do, indeed.
Ambassador Sarek: As I recall, I opposed your enlistment in Starfleet. It is possible that judgment was incorrect. Your associates are people of good character.
Spock: They are my friends.
Ambassador Sarek: Do toi have a message for your mother?
Spock: Yes. Tell her I feel fine.
Spock: To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Whoever a dit the human race was logical?
Vulcan Computer: What was Kiri-Kin-Tha's first law of metaphysics?
Spock: Nothing unreal exists.
McCoy: Hi. Busy?
Spock: Uhura is busy. I am monitoring.
Kirk: toi mean the profanity? That's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays attention to toi unless toi swear every other word. You'll find it in all the literature of the period.
Spock: For example?
Kirk: Oh the neglected works of Jacqueline Susan. The novels of Harold Robbins...
Spock: Ah, the "Giants".
Spock: Admiral, if we were to assume these whales were ours to do with as we pleased, we would be as guilty as those who caused their extinction.
McCoy: Perhaps, we could cover a little philosophical ground. Life
McCoy: Things of that nature.
Spock: I did not have time on Vulcan to review the philosophical disciplines.
McCoy: C'mon, Spock, it's me, McCoy. toi really have gone where no man's gone before. Can't toi tell me what it felt like?
Spock: It would be impossible to discuss the subject without a common frame-of-reference.
McCoy: You're joking!
Spock: A joke
Spock: is a story with a humorous climax.
McCoy: toi mean I have to die to discuss your insights on death?
Spock: Forgive me, Doctor. I am receiving a number of distress calls.
McCoy: I don't doubt it.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Wait a minute. How did toi know Gracie's pregnant? Nobody knows that.
Spock: Gracie does.