Chapter 15,

March 17, 2008,

Damien and I have been dating for a while now and I turned 14 a few days ago. I'm still managing to keep our relationship a secret from my dad and I don't see anything ruining that in the near future. Damien turns 17 at the end of this year.

I was getting ready to leave the house and go to the patin, patinage Park. After I snuck out, I went to our usual meeting place that the guys and I had picked out. When I got there, Damien walked up to me and gave me a kiss. Our immature Friends started saying "gross; toi two are always s’embrasser each other!" I asked "would toi rather us make out in front of you?" Brandon rolled his eyes and Damien a dit "that's what I thought! toi guys just wait until toi have girlfriends! AJ and I are going to make so much fun of you!” I kissed him again just to get on their nerves and the two of us chuckled.

The two of us started walking down the rue and Damien took out his wallet. He a dit "wait till toi see what I got yesterday!" I asked "what?" He passed me a card and a dit "my driver’s license! Now I don't have to drive around with my mom in the car anymore!" I a dit "that's cool! The only thing that sucks is that toi don't have a car of your own yet." He a dit "I might get a job soon so; it won't be long before I do have one." I laughed and a dit "it's hard to picture toi driving! I wish toi could take me somewhere!" He a dit "my mom doesn't like me driving her car ou else I would." I a dit "I have an idea!" He rolled his eyes and a dit "oh boy; I can't wait to hear this!" I a dit "my dad parks his car nowhere near our house and he always leaves the keys in it because no one goes over there." Damien raised his eyebrows and asked "so what you're telling me is that we should just take your dad's car without him knowing?" I laughed and a dit "that's exactly what I'm saying!"

Damien is a troublemaker too so; he didn't put too much thought into my plan and we casually made our way to where the car is. We walked up to the black Rolls-Royce and Damien's mouth dropped as he asked "this is your dad's car?" I constantly have to remind myself that he doesn't know who my dad is and I a dit "yeah; there it is." He a dit "wow; your dad's a good businessman!" I a dit "yeah; now toi see why he has to hide the car all the way over here in the middle of nowhere." I opened the car door and took the keys out. I pass them to Damien and he a dit "oh man; I can't believe I get to drive this awesome car!"

He started the car up and I a dit "whatever toi do; don't crash because then I'll have to come clean to my dad about sneaking out and dating you!" He a dit "I passed my driver’s test on the first try so; there's nothing to worry about!" He drove down to the local movie rental place and the two of us got out of the car. I asked "what are we doing here?" He a dit "I saw the TV that is built into the back siège and figured we could watch a few movies! I'll use my movie card because I always pick up films on my way accueil from school and I can rent as many films as I want to for only $15 a month." I asked as we walked inside "what movie did toi want to get?" He a dit "let's get Spiderman three because I haven't seen that yet." We went and checked out our movie and then got back into the car.

Damien and I climbed into the back siège and started the movie. Soon after the movie started, it reached a boring part and we started making out. After a few minutes, Damien a dit "you know; toi are 14 now." I a dit "so" and he a dit "maybe it's time we take that suivant step!" Millions of thoughts came into my head and I asked "you're talking about sex; right?" He smiled and a dit "yes!" I a dit "okay" and he took off my shirt.

par the time he had gotten to my jeans, he was already in his boxers. Just as we were about to start, I was remembering the talk that dad and I had on the plage that jour back in 2006. I looked at Damien and asked "wait; do toi have a condom on you?" He a dit "we'll be fine without one!" I asked hesitating a little bit "what makes toi think that?" He a dit "all three of the guys have already Lost their virginity and they didn't use condoms! I'll just pull out before it gets too intense. Trust me; there's nothing to worry about! I know it will work!" I a dit "well; as long as toi promise that you’ll pull out then we can have sex!" He got excited and a dit "I will; I promise!"

Afterwards, Damien and I brought the car back to where it belongs. He walked with me until we were about three blocks away from my house. I didn't want him to see where I lived because then he would know that Michael Jackson is my dad. He leaned in to Kiss me and I a dit "I didn't know losing your virginity was supposed to hurt this bad!" He a dit "it didn't hurt me!" I a dit "I knew my first time was supposed to hurt because I'm a girl but; this is way worse than I thought it would be!" He a dit "it should be better par tomorrow but; I have to get going before my mom starts to worry."

March 18, 2008,

I came downstairs and was still in excruciating pain from losing my virginity last night and walked into the living room. Dad walked up behind me and a dit "good morning AJ!" He kissed my forehead and a dit "I l’amour you!" I a dit "I l’amour toi too." As I sat down on the couch, Blanket came over and sat on my lap and I a dit "ouch!" Before I realized that I a dit that out loud, dad asked "what's wrong?" I a dit "oh nothing; I just slept on my back all night long without rolling over and I'm a little sore." He a dit "just go upstairs and sleep for a while; it should feel better after that!"

I have to admit that sleeping sounded pretty good because of the amount of pain I was in. I went upstairs and ended up sleeping for seven hours straight. When I woke up, I was feeling a lot better and wasn't worried anymore about dad finding out!

April 10, 2008,

I'm pacing around my bedroom because I bought a pregnancy test. I'm really worried at this point because I've had all the early signs of being pregnant. I closed my eyes and then open them as I looked down at the pregnancy test. I picked it up and took a closer look as I saw a rose plus sign on it. I immediately started crying as I held my head in my hands and sat down on the bed. I picked up my cell phone and texted "Damien; I need to tell toi something!" He responded 20 minutes later par saying "what's going on?" My fingers stroked the keyboard on my cell phone as I tried to figure out what to say

I finally just took a picture of the pregnancy test and sent it to Damien. He responded "what is that?" I asked "what does it look like?" He a dit "alright AJ; this joke really isn't funny anymore!" I a dit "IT'S NOT A JOKE DAMIEN!" I waited for a response for over an heure but there wasn't one.

I knew that I would eventually have to tell my dad EVERYTHING so; I just wanted to get it over with. I opened my bedroom door and asked "dad; can toi come in my room for a minute?" He smiled and a dit "of course!" I shut the door and he a dit "it's been a long time since I've spent time with toi alone." I took a deep breath as I sat back down on my lit and a dit "I want to talk to you." He a dit "okay" and I a dit "I think toi should sit down!" He pulled my computer chair across from me and a dit "alright; I'm sitting!" I a dit "before I really start talking I need toi to promise me that toi won't interrupt?" He a dit "okay; I promise!"

As I got up the courage to start the conversation, I stared at his smile and perfect teeth. I took a deep breath and a dit "I haven't been as well behaved as toi think I have since we got to Vegas. There are three things that I need to tell you. The first thing is that I've been sneaking out of the house since we moved here!" He raised his eyebrows and I a dit "the seconde thing is that I have boyfriend!" His eyes widened as big as saucers and mouth slightly opened.

Before I could get to the third thing, dad asked under his breath "you've been sneaking out of the house? toi have boyfriend?" I shook my head in agreement and he a dit "you're not 16 years old yet! What are toi doing sneaking out of the house and dating some guy?" I a dit "no one knows what my face looks like in public because I wear my mask when I'm out with toi so; no one notices me when I'm not wearing it!" He a dit "you've been going out of the house without your mask on!" I shook my head again and he asked with clear irritation in his voice "who is this boy you're dating???" I a dit "his name is Damien and I met him at an alley a few blocks away from here. We hang out at the patin, patinage Park together all the time and I've made a few other Friends also!" Dad asked "how old is he?" I took a deep breath and whispered so quietly that he couldn't hear me. He asked "what?" I a dit "he'll be 17 at the end of this year." Dad's mouth dropped wide open and a dit "17; he's going to be 17 par the time you're almost 15!!!" He started to get really angry with the fact that I had a boyfriend and that he is two years older than I am!

Dad slammed his fist down on my nightstand and a dit "I'm not angry with toi but; this guy must be really stupid if he thinks dating a 14-year-old is okay!" He looked up at me and asked "what was the third thing that toi wanted to tell me?" I a dit "I don't think I can tell toi so; I'll montrer you."

My hand shook as I passed dad the positive pregnancy test and he looked down at it. He literally didn't say anything for 15 minutes as he stared down at it. I saw tears pour down his face as he shook his head in disbelief. He asked "you're pregnant?" I started to cry because of how emotional he was and a dit "yes!" He a dit "well; there goes your childhood forever! I tried so hard to make sure that toi had the chance to be a kid! You're only 14 years old and you're going to be a mother!!!" He wiped tears away and a dit "you knew I didn't want toi having sex and toi went and did it anyway! Where did toi two have sex?" I hesitated and he asked "WHERE DID toi TWO HAVE SEX?" I a dit with a shaky voice "in the Rolls-Royce." He a dit as he put his hands on the haut, retour au début of his head "in my car? toi HAD SEX IN MY CAR!!!"


Dad started gagging and a dit "even though I don't want toi having sex; I thought I explained to toi the importance of using a condom! If you're going to have sex even though I told toi not to; I would want toi to use a condom! Why didn't this Damien kid put one on?" I a dit while wiping away tears "he didn't have one and he told me that he would pull out before things got too intense!" Dad looked at me in disgust as he pictured what I was describing and a dit "Alanna; don't listen to a guy when they say that! It doesn't work; trust me!!!" I a dit while sobbing "yeah; I can see that now!"

My dad saw that reality was hitting me and hitting me hard! He sat down suivant to me on the lit in silence as he stared at the pregnancy test once more. He hugged me and squeezed me as tight as he possibly could! He a dit trying to console me "I know; it's going to be hard but; we’ll get through it! I smiled up at him and he a dit "there's always a positive side! toi have a human being growing inside toi and that's one of God's greatest gifts! You're going to have to grow up fast but; I'll be here to help toi every step the way!" I asked calming myself down "are toi mad at me dad?" He a dit the words no child wants to hear "no; but I am disappointed in you!" We got up and he went over to my closet. He took out my baseball bat and a dit "I don't want to hear toi complain; you're montrer me where Damien’s house is!"

Dad and I pulled up in front of Damien's mother's house. We both got out of the car and he opened up the trunk. He took the baseball bat out and I asked "what do toi need that for?" He didn't answer me and I a dit "don't hurt him daddy!" Dad looked at me as we walked up the front steps and a dit "I'm not making any promises!"

I knocked on the door and Damien’s mom answered it. She didn't notice dad at first and a dit "hi AJ!" Her eyes slowly moved over to dad and she asked while stuttering "are toi Michael Jackson?" Dad a dit "yes I am; is Damien here?" She a dit "come on in; he's in the living room." We walked inside and Damien was sitting on the couch. Damien looked up in shock at the fact that Michael Jackson was standing in his living room!

Before Damien could say anything, dad grabbed him par his T-shirt and pinned him up against the wall! Kate asked "WHAT DO toi THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY SON?" Dad a dit "WHY DON'T toi ASK YOUR SON?" Damien looked at me confused and I a dit "well; toi finally met my dad!" Damien asked "MICHAEL JACKSON IS YOUR DAD???" I a dit "yup" and Kate asked "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'M SO CONFUSED!" Dad a dit "apparently; Damien got Alanna pregnant!" She looked at Damien and a dit "WHAT!" Damien a dit with a nervous laugh "congratulations grandma!" Dad a dit as he raised his fist to coup de poing him "I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY AT ALL toi LITTLE ASSHOLE!!!"

I lowered dad's fist away from Damien's face and a dit "can't we just talk about this without all the screaming!" Dad took a deep breath and released his grip on Damien’s chemise and a dit "you're right." Kate gestured for dad and I to sit down on the canapé suivant to them. She went and got some snacks for us to eat while dad tried to intimidate Damien with the stare he was giving him. When Kate came back into the room, I a dit "all right; if we're going to have this conversation we need to do it without the yelling because that's not going to get us anywhere."

Damien looked at my dad and waited for him to say something. Dad looked at Kate with the same expression of disbelief on his face. Kate just shook her head over and over because she couldn't believe that I was actually pregnant. Dad interrupted the silence par asking "what would make toi think that it's okay for toi to rendez-vous amoureux, date a 14-year-old?" Damien a dit "I don't think two years is that much of an age difference between AJ and I." Dad a dit "okay well; I disagree with that. How come toi didn't use protection?" Damien stuttered "I – I didn't think we needed too. I thought if I pulled out nothing would happen." Kate rolled her eyes and a dit "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth Damien and you’ve a dit a lot of stupid things before." Dad a dit "that obviously didn't work! Damien let out a deep sigh and a dit "yeah; I know!" Kate a dit "you seem like toi don't care Damien! I don't think toi understand the gravity of the situation! There is a baby growing inside of Alanna right now and you're the whole reason the baby is there in the first place!" Dad nodded in agreement and a dit "you took the words right out of my mouth." Kate a dit "this is so much to take in at once! First I find out that AJ's father is Michael Jackson! Then I find out toi and AJ had sex! Then to haut, retour au début it all off, you're going to be a father at 16 years old!" Dad a dit "tell me about it! I think everyone should just take a few days before we really talk about this because this is a lot to take in."

As dad and I got back into his car, we both looked at each other in silence before he turned the key in the ignition. I a dit "I'm really sorry Dad. I didn't want any of this happened so soon!" He a dit "I know toi didn't… It's just really disappointing and it hurts!" I just looked down at my feet because I knew there's nothing I could have a dit to make the situation any better. I remember looking at dad and just thinking to myself "I wonder what he's thinking about? I really hurt him this time; I can tell par the look on his face!!!”

April 12, 2008,

Dad and I haven't really talked about me being pregnant since we left Damien's house a few days il y a because he doesn't want my siblings to find out just yet. I was up in my room lying in my bed, when dad came in and shut the door behind him. He asked "can I talk to toi for a minute?" I looked up at the ceiling and a dit "yeah sure." He sat down on my lit and smirked down at me.

He a dit as he held my hand "I've been thinking… I was wondering what do toi want to do with the baby?" I a dit "well; I'm of course going to keep it!" He asked with a worried tone in his voice "are toi sure about that? It's a lot of work taking care of a baby and it's not just for a few years; you're making a lifelong commitment! Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, going to doctors’ appointments… IT'S A LOT OF WORK!" I a dit "I'll make it through it!" He a dit "I'd like to offer toi something and it's up to toi whether ou not toi like the idea. I won't be upset if toi don't go along with it.” I looked up at him and asked "what?" He sighed and a dit "I thought I was done with having plus children at this point in my life. I'm willing to adopt your baby and raise it as my own that way; toi can have your childhood back and be able to see the baby every day!” I a dit "it's nice of toi to offer to do something for me like that but; I want to be a mom. I think it would be kind of awkward to hear the baby call me sister and for me to know that he ou she is really my child!" Dad a dit "that's okay; I understand where you're coming from. It was just a thought that I had last night. If you're going to raise this baby though; toi have to get your act together! toi can't put yourself first anymore because toi have a child that depends on you! toi can't constantly be getting yourself into trouble! I just want to make it very clear that if toi really want to do this then you're going to be the one taking care of the baby, not me! I'm not saying that I won't help toi out every now and then but; it's your responsibility." I shook my head in agreement and he hugged me.

April 16, 2008,

Dad and I were cleaning up the cuisine when we heard frantic knocking on the front door. He opened up the door and Kate ran inside. Dad looked around to see if my siblings were upstairs then, he asked "what's wrong?" She a dit as she sat down at the table, tableau "I don't know where Damien is! I think the reality of being a dad was getting to him and he ran away! He won't answer my phone calls but; he's been on his MySpace page!" Dad asked "when was the last time toi saw him?" She a dit "the jour toi came over! He seemed fine after toi left! When I woke up the suivant morning, all the money in my wallet was gone and my credit cards too!" Dad a dit "well; he must be planning be gone for a while if he took your credit cards!" She a dit "I'm not going to annuler them because he might need them to buy food!" Dad asked "did toi check the récent charges made on your account? We might be able to find out where he is!" Kate a dit "I already checked! Wherever he is; he doesn't want us to find him because he's being really smart about what he buys with my credit cards. What I really want him to do is rent a hotel room because then we can find him!" I interrupted "trust me; he wouldn't be that stupid! I'm a troublemaker too so I understand his brain!" Kate a dit "the police a dit that there's nothing they can do because Damien's 16 and if he doesn't want to come accueil they wouldn't be able to make him!" Dad a dit "keep an eye on your credit cards Kate because the only choice we have right now is to hope that he'll slip up ou just decide to come home! For the time being, at least we know he has money on him."

1 million thoughts went through my mind as I stood there at the cuisine counter while the two of them had their conversation. That idiot; I can't believe he would leave me like this and without even saying anything. He's the one who got me pregnant and he can't just bail on me like that. When he gets back I'm going to give him up to my mind! He can't take it back now because I'm already pregnant!

April 22, 2008,

Dad is having a man named Dr. Murray come over to the house today so I can have my first ultrasound. I would've wanted Damien here for this but; there's still no sign of him! He did finally call his mom though but only to say that he's not coming home! I don't like how this whole situation is starting to play out and I hope Damien comes to his senses because I don't want to do this on my own!

Dad and Dr. Murray shook hands and I lay down on the couch. Dr. Murray asked with a thick Jamaican accent "are toi excited to be a mother?" I a dit "it hasn't really sunk in yet!" While he prepped me for the ultrasound, he and dad made small talk. Dad a dit "I heard that toi specialize in cardiology." Dr. Murray a dit "primarily yes; this is just something I do on the side." He scanned my stomach and a dit "well; there's definitely only one baby in there; that's for sure! Dad took a sigh of relief and a dit "thank God it's only one!" I asked "how long will it be until I can find out if it's a boy ou a girl?" He a dit "10 plus weeks until toi can find out." Dad asked "don't toi want it to be a surprise?" I a dit "I have to know as soon as possible! I can't wait nine months; did toi forget who toi are talking to?" Dad and I both started laughing and he a dit "oh yeah!"

Dr. Murray wrote on a notepad and a dit "I've done the math and it looks like your due rendez-vous amoureux, date should be November 18th of this year." As I got up off of the couch, I asked "will toi come back in 10 weeks so I can find out the gender of the baby?" He smiled and a dit "of course I will; let me give toi a prescription for your prenatal vitamins before I leave."

May 5, 2008,

I was in my room surfing the Internet and stared at Damien's MySpace page. I was hoping that he would magically start a conversation with me but; that didn't happen. Dad came into my room and sat down suivant to me. He a dit "I need to talk to toi about something and I don't know how you're going to react.” I raised my eyebrows and asked "what?" He a dit "I'm going on tour again!" I a dit "I don't know why toi think I would react badly to that; that's so awesome!" He sighed and a dit "that's not the part I'm worried about."

He hesitated over and over before I a dit "just tell me already!" He a dit "we're moving back to LA for now and eventually to Londres where the concerts will be." I a dit "back to LA? Then to London? We can't move! What if Damien comes back?" Dad looked at me sympathetically and a dit "sweetheart; I think you're in denial about Damien! I don't think he's coming back." I looked at him as I shook my head and a dit "he's going to come back!" Dad grabbed my hand and a dit "I don't think he is AJ." I pulled away and a dit raising my voice "YOU'RE WRONG; YOU'LL SEE!"

Dad looked at the desperation in my eyes as I refuse to believe what he was telling me. I sat down on the lit and he sat down suivant to me. I a dit "HE DIDN'T DITCH ME; HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Dad hugged me and in that moment I realized that he was right. I continued to repeat "he didn't abandon me; DAMIEN'S COMING BACK" as I started to sob uncontrollably. Dad could hardly understand me as I repeated that phrase over and over again.

Dad passed me a tissue and I a dit crying to an uncontrollable point "I can't do this alone!" Dad smiled down at me as he wiped my tears with his sleeve and a dit "who a dit toi would be alone? You've got me; don't you?" I smiled and a dit "I guess." He a dit "guessing has nothing to do with it! I'm here for toi now and I'm never leaving! I'll never abandon toi like Damien did! He's an immature jerk and needs to grow up! I think it's best that he stays wherever he is right now because if he comes back I'll kick his ass!!!"

I started laughing and dad asked "what's so funny?" I a dit "sorry; I can't help it! It's so weird hearing toi swear; I'm not used to it!" He smiled as if he didn't even notice that he swore and a dit "I'm angry with Damien! Not for leaving but; for hurting you!" I couldn't care less about him being around because I don't think he'd be a good influence on toi ou the baby but seeing toi so desperately want him here hurts me plus than toi could imagine! Hurt me; I don't care! Hurt my baby and you'll regret it! I actually think that staying away is the only smart thing I've seen him do since I met him!" The two of us laughed and I a dit "I think you're right about that one" as he put his arm around me.

May 9, 2008,

After dad found a place for us to live in California, we moved into it yesterday. Dad reluctantly decided to invite the rest of the Jackson family over for dinner, of course not including my grandfather.

As I was tossing the empty cardboard boxes out of my new bedroom, dad came in and sat down on my bare mattress. He a dit "I think what we should do is tell Grace and your siblings that you're pregnant now. Then we'll tell everyone else at dîner tonight." I sighed and a dit "okay; I want to get this over with!"

The two of us walked downstairs and went to gather them. All of us sat down on the canapé and dad a dit "AJ needs to tell toi guys something." I a dit "I'm going to be having a baby." Prince and Paris smiled while Blanket looked at me with a confused look on his face. He asked" where did the baby from?" Dad and I both looked at each other while we searched for the right answer. Dad a dit "a special hug." I had to force myself not to laugh at dad's explanation and Blanket asked "who did AJ hug? Dad lightly thumped the back of my head to get me to stop laughing and a dit "a friend of hers." Paris a dit "that means I'm going to be an aunt and toi guys are going to be uncles!" Blanket hugged me and asked "when is the baby going to come out of your tummy?" I a dit "not until November" as Grace pulled dad and I into the other room.

She shut the door behind her and asked "are toi really pregnant?" I a dit "I wouldn't joke about something like this! Yes I really am pregnant!" She asked "Michael how long have toi known?" He a dit "since the beginning of April." She asked "who's the father?" Dad a dit "his name is Damien but; I don't think you'll be seeing too much of him! He skipped town and hasn't contacted any of us since." Grace looked shocked as she tried to comprehend the idea of me being a mother. Dad a dit "trust me; AJ understands that it's not going to be easy! She wants to raise the baby on her own and toi and I will be here to help her if she needs us." She asked "how do toi think the rest of the family is going to react?" He a dit "all I can say right now is that I'm glad Joseph isn't coming because he would blame everything on me!"

After dîner had been served, dad, my uncles, aunts, my grandmother, and I all sat down in the living room. Uncle Jackie asked "how come toi invited us over for dîner Michael?" Dad looked at me and asked "do toi want me to tell everyone?" I a dit "yeah; they will take toi better if it's coming from you!" Uncle Randy asked "what's going on?" Dad a dit "well; Alanna's pregnant. Before toi ask, the baby's father is nowhere to be found and we don't expect to hear from him anytime soon!" I looked at my grandmother and asked "are toi okay grandma?" She a dit "I didn't expect toi to be a grandfather so soon Michael." Dad a dit "I know; I'm surprised par it too!" Aunt Janet asked "when the baby due?" I a dit "November 18 of this year."

I was surprised when they each congratulated me and a dit they would be there for support. After they left, dad a dit "that went better than I expected!" I a dit "I'm just glad it didn't turn into a screaming match!" Dad a dit "I thought for sure that one of them would accuse me of not being involved enough with toi to stop toi from getting pregnant!" I a dit "I don't think toi would've been able to stop me either way. toi know how I am; I do whatever I want to do in the moment!"

June 4, 2008,

Dad was in the middle of his first jour of rehearsals for his "this is it" tour when I called him. He answered his phone and asked frantically like any concerned father would "what's wrong? Are toi okay?" As he responded to me he a dit "don't feel bad! I'll be right there!" He hung up his cell phone and Kenny Ortega the director of the tour asked "is everything all right Michael?" Dad a dit "yeah; AJ has been having morning sickness and accidentally threw up all over her bathroom floor. Grace isn't accueil because she took the other children out shopping so; I'll be back in an heure after I finish cleaning up the bathroom." Kenny a dit "okay; it's time for a break anyway." Dad yanked his car keys off a nearby table, tableau and walked out the door as he adjusted the Fedora hat on his head.

About 15 minutes later, I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as he called out "I'm coming AJ." He opened up my bedroom door and I was sitting on my bed. He walked up to my bathroom and looked down at the ground. He looked back up at me as I was about to say something but; I just started crying. He looked at me sympathetically and asked as he sat down on the lit "what's wrong?" I a dit "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was so close but –" he a dit "Alanna; it's okay! It's plus normal than toi think it is." I a dit "I know that you're not mad at me." He raised his eyebrows and asked "then why are toi crying?" I a dit "I honestly don't know! I've literally been crying like this on and off since they all went shopping! I was watching TV when a commercial break started and I burst out crying because I didn't want to watch commercials! How stupid is that? I can't believe I was crying over freaking commercials!"

Dad chuckled as he grabbed a roll of paper towels from the cabinet under my bathroom sink. He a dit "it must be the mood swings!" I asked confused "mood swings; really?" He a dit as he cleaned up the floor "yes; that's part of being pregnant! You're supposed to have mood swings!" I asked "how many plus times am I going to cry like this?" He a dit as he shut off the bathroom light "the entire pregnancy; every now and then probably!" I a dit with tears flowing from my eyes "I'm going to be like this until November! I don't cry dad! This isn't who I am! I think I've only cried five times since I was 10!" He couldn't help but laugh at how overdramatic I was being and I a dit as I cried into a tissue "it's not funny dad!"

He sat down suivant to me on my lit and a dit still trying to hide his laughter "I'm sorry; I've never seen toi like this and from my point of view it is really funny!" I lay down on my lit and propped myself up with pillows. I looked at the TV and screamed as I sobbed uncontrollably "not plus commercials! Why do they always have to have commercials at the best part of the show?" He chuckled into his arm and asked "why don't toi just watch a movie that way there isn't any commercials?" I a dit in between sobs "because this is a good montrer and that skinny little dog is going to get adopted and, and –!" Dad got up and a dit "I think that's my cue to leave now!" He laughed as he got up from my lit and a dit "have fun crying your eyes out!" I playfully threw a throw oreiller at his head as he shut my bedroom door.

June 23, 2008,

It was the middle of the night when I walked down to dad's bedroom. He was fast asleep but; I barely tapped him and he jumped up. He frantically asked "did your water break?" I rolled my eyes and a dit "daddy I've only been pregnant for 2 1/2 months! It's nowhere near time for that yet!" He rubbed his eyes and asked "what's the matter?" I a dit "I'm hungry!" He a dit "then go downstairs and get something to eat." I a dit "I don't want anything down there!" He yawned and asked "then what do toi want?" I a dit "KFC" and he looked at his alarm clock. He a dit "it's two in the morning and toi want me to get toi Kentucky fried chicken." I pouted "please; that's what the baby wants!" He smiled and a dit "I can't say no to you." I a dit "thank toi daddy!" He a dit as he hugged me "yeah, yeah, yeah!"

25 minutes later, he walked into my room carrying a big bag of nourriture and sat down on my bed." As he took container after container out of the bag, I asked "why did toi get so much?" He a dit "well; there's no way I'm going to be able to fall right back asleep now so, I might as well eat with you!" I a dit as I began to fill my plate with nourriture "sorry for waking toi up in the middle of the night to go get me KFC dad." He a dit "that's alright; I know toi can't help it! If Damien was here that's what he'd be doing anyway and I told toi that toi weren't going to do this whole pregnancy thing alone! If that means I have to make late-night runs to get toi whenever you're craving then so be it!" I hugged him as I stuffed my face and he laughed. This was the first of many craving trips I would send him on during these nine months!

July 11, 2008,

I came downstairs and a dit "come on Dr. Murray hurry up and get here already! I want to know now!" Dad a dit down suivant to me on the canapé and asked as he laughed at my apparent excitement "will toi chill out? You're going to make yourself go into early labor!" I a dit "I can't; I need to know now if I'm having a boy ou a girl!"

I heard the front door open and pretty much dragged Dr. Murray into the living room. Dad a dit as Dr. Murray sat down to start prepping "I have something I’d like to ask toi Dr. Murray." He responded "yes?" Dad a dit "well; I've started rehearsing for my 'this is it’ tour and I'd like to hire toi as my permanent physician from this point on to the end of the tour. My concert promoters have agreed to pay toi six figures a year!" Dr. Murray was taken aback at the amount and a dit "of course; anything for toi Michael!" Dad a dit "great; you'll start suivant week and accompany me to each of my rehearsals at the Staples Center."

I cleared my throat to break their conversation and Dr. Murray a dit "oh yeah; I forgot why I came here in the first place!" He started scanning my stomach and a dit "alright; let's see what we've got here. As he moved the computer souris across the screen dad a dit with a smile on his face "oh; I think I can tell what it is already!" I a dit "be quiet you; don't ruin this moment!" Dad a dit "I wasn't going to!" I a dit "shhhh" as Dr. Murray zoomed in. Dr. Murray a dit "okay; it looks like it's a baby…… Boy!"

I jumped up and pointed my finger at dad. I a dit "I knew it was a boy! I told toi so!" Dad a dit "I was for sure it would be a girl!" Dr. Murray a dit as he packed up his stuff "now toi can start decorating and picking out names!" I a dit "it didn't really matter to me whether it was a boy ou girl! I was dying to know just so I could start picking out names!" Dad rolled his eyes and a dit "oh boy; this is going to be fun!" He walked Conrad Murray to the door and a dit "meet us at the Staples Center at 9 o'clock on Tuesday! Welcome to team Jackson!" Dr. Murray thanked dad as he shut the door behind him.

July 6, 2008,

My stomach has really started to montrer but; it's pretty easy to hide it under the baggy clothes I like to wear. Still no sign of Damien and he's really starting to make me mad I wish he would at least respond to my phone calls. He talks to his mom all the time but; won't tell her where he is.

There was a knock at the front door and I got off the canapé to answer it. I was surprised to see Kate Damien's mother standing there. I hugged her and called for my dad to come downstairs. He walked up to her and gave her a hug before he asked "what brings toi here?" She a dit "just because Damien doesn't want to be a dad doesn't mean I can't be a grandma! I found a cheap flight here from Las Vegas and was wondering if I could stay with toi guys for about a week?" Dad a dit "of course toi can! We have lots to fill toi in on!"

Dad brought snacks to the coffee table, tableau in the living room and the three of us sat down to talk." Kate looked at my stomach and a dit "awww you're getting a baby bump!" I a dit "yeah I know; it's weird for me!" Dad and Kate both a dit "it's weird for us too!" I a dit as I looked at her "dad and I found out whether it's a boy ou a girl; did toi want to know?" She a dit "well; obviously!" Dad a dit "you're going to have a grandson." I smiled as her face lit up and I asked "what do toi want the baby to call you? Dad already decided he wants to be called Poppa." She a dit "I like just the traditional grandma." Dad a dit "being called grandpa would make me feel old! That's why I picked Poppa!" She chuckled and a dit "you look like plus of a Poppa than toi would as grandpa!" I adjusted myself on the canapé and a dit "the baby's kicking." Kate placed her hand on my stomach and a tear rolled down her face. I hugged her and asked "what's wrong?" She composed herself and a dit "I want toi to know that I don't agree with the way Damien's jouer la comédie right now. I tried to convince him that he needs to come accueil and help toi but; he just hangs up on me! I hope you'll allow me to be an active part of the baby's life!" I a dit baffled that she wouldn't think she would be able to be a part of her grandson's life "of course toi can! toi don't ever have to worry about that! I'll never stop toi from seeing him! I can definitely use the help after the baby is born!" She took a sigh of relief and a dit "I'm sorry that my son is so immature!" Dad a dit "you don't have to feel bad about that because it's not your fault! toi did your best and single mom and Damien didn't really have his father around as a good role model. Alanna asks me for help if she needs something; even if it's something crazy!" Kate laughed and asked "what crazy things has she had toi do?" Dad and I laughed and he a dit "she's had me go to just about every fast nourriture restaurant in Los Angeles! Most of the time she wakes me up at 1 AM to go get the food. That isn't the easiest thing to do when you're Michael Jackson!" I laughed and a dit "Kate; toi should of seen the look on his face when I asked him to rub my feet yesterday!" Dad a dit "don't get too used to it because once that baby's born I'm done with that!" I laughed and said" I might as well take advantage of toi while I can! I would be making Damien did the same thing if he were here!" Kate a dit "well; toi can ask me for help while I'm here so your dad can have a break!" Dad hugged her and a dit "finally; I won't montrer up to tour rehearsals tired, at least for a week." She asked eagerly "when is my grandson due?" Dad a dit "November 18." She a dit "I'm going to take off a few days before and after the baby is born so I can be here for the birth and to help out." I a dit "the three of us should go shopping and look at baby names together this week!" She clapped her hands with joy and a dit "it's been a while since I've been able to buy baby things; we're going to have so much fun this week!"

I'm glad that Kate is going to be supportive even though Damien isn't! That takes a lot of the weight off of dad's shoulders and I know that I will be able to ask her for conseil about things that dad wouldn't know about! I'm still really mad at Damien though because the baby isn't even born yet and he is already being selfish!

July 9, 2008,

Kate, dad, and I was sitting in the living room while Grace had taken my siblings to the movies. I opened up my laptop and a dit "we should look at baby names!" Dad opened up your computer and went on to a pregnancy website as well. Kate sat down suivant to me so she could see the names as I scrolled through a liste of thousands. She pointed at one and I shook my head in disagreement. Dad a dit "you could name the baby –" and I interrupted par saying "I'm not naming him Prince Michael the third dad!" Kate a dit "please don't; it would be too confusing!" I a dit "you don't have to worry about me choosing Prince because I narrowed my choices down to two names. I'll choose one of them as his first name and the other one as his middle name. The two of toi can help me figure out which is which but; don't try to change my mind because I'm dead set on these names!" Kate asked "what names did toi pick?" I a dit "I picked out Carter and Shawn." Dad a dit "really? toi should pick a strong majestic African name! I like Rafiq!"

Kate and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. I asked "what the heck kind of name is that?" Kate a dit "that sounds like a character in the lion King!" I a dit "he's not going to be able to spell that when he gets older! I don't want anything too weird ou something with like 20 letters in it!" Dad started laughing and Kate a dit "I personally like Shawn better as the first name but; it's up to toi AJ!" Dad a dit "I like Carter better!" I a dit "you guys don't make this any easier on me! Carter Shawn, ou Shawn Carter? What one do I like better?" I wrote both options down on a piece of paper and asked "which one looks better to toi guys. Kate grabbed the piece of paper from me and dad looked at it from over her shoulder. They both a dit in unison "Carter Shawn! Yeah; definitely Carter Shawn!" I a dit "good because that looks better to me too!" Dad kissed my stomach and a dit "hi little Carter Shawn! I can finally stop calling toi baby ou it!"

July 11, 2008,

Today is Kate's last stay here because she has to go back to work in two days. She was sitting in the living room with the family and a dit "there; I bought my tickets for November so; I can be here a few days before Carter is born and stay here a few days after his birth." I a dit "since today is your last jour here; you, dad, and I should go to bébés R us!" Kate a dit as I put on my feathered mask" I'm so excited!" Dad a dit "I'm just letting toi know beforehand that the paparazzi can be a little annoying and whatever toi do don't respond to their questions! As far as I'm concerned; they can think that I'm shopping for someone else's baby! Word can't get out yet that AJ's pregnant because it will be complete disaster!" Kate nodded her head and a dit "don't worry; I won't say anything!"

As we got into dad's Rolls-Royce and he put the key in the ignition, Kate a dit "this car is amazing!" Dad a dit "thanks; it was definitely well worth the money I paid for it!" Kate a dit "I didn't know that toi can drive Michael!" He a dit "yeah I do drive myself places but; it's not very often when I'm able to!" I a dit "next year; toi have to teach me how to drive dad because I'll be old enough to get my drivers permit!" He a dit "yeah; don't remind me!"

When we got to the store, word had gotten out that we had moved back to Los Angeles and the paparazzi had crowded the entrance. We got out of the car and shoved our way through. Once the manager realized who my dad was, he got everyone else to leave the store so none of us would have fans coming up and interrupting us!

As they walked down the aisles, Kate asked "is it this crazy every time toi guys go out?" I a dit "every single time! That's why us kids wear masks in public that way; when were not with dad we don't have to wear them and we can live as normal a life as possible." She a dit "I never looked at it that way; that's a really smart idea!" Dad a dit "there's always a method to my madness that people don't understand! The paparazzi just jump to conclusions and say whatever they want about me. Most of the time, what they say is just downright mean; especially when they say things like wacko Jacko! ou they call the children socially deprived because of my life!" Kate a dit "well; I don't believe any of that crap!"

I looked at one of the shelves and a dit "there's baby wipe warming machines; really?" Kate chuckled as she put it in the chariot, panier and a dit "well yeah; toi don't want the baby to freeze!" Dad laughed and a dit "that brings back memories from when toi were little AJ!" I picked out a furniture set and then we went over to pick out a car seat. I stood there with Kate and dad and we must've looked at 50 different styles. I a dit "I didn't know that picking out a car siège would be this hard; each one is adorable!" Dad a dit "there's a red and black one over there inside the matching stroller!" The seconde I saw it I a dit "this is the one!"

After we gave the store the shipping address for all the big items, we went outside into the ambush of paparazzi waiting for us. They shouted "how's your health Michael? When did toi déplacer back to LA? Will your brother's be part of the new tour? Who are toi shopping for? Who is this woman? Is she your new wife? Is she your girlfriend? Are toi having another child Michael?"

Dad gently guided me into the back siège while Kate sat in the passenger seat. We quickly sped off and Kate a dit "Michael; I can't believe they just assume that I'm either your girlfriend ou your wife!" Dad laughed and a dit "anytime I go out in public with a female they ask that! It could be a 90-year-old woman for God's sake and I'll see the titre of a magazine say 'wacko Jacko is getting married to the wrinkly woman of his dreams!" We all burst out laughing and I a dit "we all just learn to laugh at it because we can't really do much about it!" She a dit "I've had so much fun with toi guys! It sucks that I have to leave tomorrow and at 9 AM!" Dad a dit "I don't want toi to leave either because we all had fun with you! Most of all though; it means that I'm going to have to get up in the middle of the night again!" I a dit "I'm going to miss the weird conversations toi and I had at midnight while we ate the fast nourriture toi picked up!" Kate a dit "don't forget that I'll be back when you're still pregnant, a couple of days before toi have Carter so it isn't the last fast nourriture conversation the two of us have!" I hugged her and we drove back to the house.

October 2, 2008

Dad came into my room and sat down suivant to me. He a dit "only one plus mois left until little Carter Shawn it here!" I a dit "I'm so done being pregnant; everything hurts!" He a dit "I wish we could find somebody to paint a mural to go along with the nursery side of your bedroom!" I a dit as I smiled "I think I know a guy!" He a dit "you should call him because we have to paint the nursery today!"

3 hours later there was a knock at the front door and I heard a whole bunch of feet shuffle up the stairs. Dad opened my bedroom door and a dit "AJ; your Friends are here!" Colton, Sketch, and Brandon stood in front of me and we gave each other fist bumps. I asked "dad is it okay to use spray paint on the walls?" Dad a dit "yeah but; toi can't be around it until the room airs out from the smell because toi are pregnant." I a dit okay; these are my Friends that I was telling toi about, Brandon Colton, and Sketch." Dad looked at me puzzled as we left the room and asked "why do they call him Sketch?" I put my hand on his shoulder and a dit "you'll see!"

Over five hours later, the guys came downstairs and a dit "it doesn't smell like spray paint anymore and we're done the mural so; toi can check it out!" We all went back upstairs and I slowly turned the doorknob to my room. Dad and I stood there staring at the one mur in my bedroom with giant graffiti letters that say 'Carter ‘in all different shades of blue. Dad a dit "this is amazing! toi guys are really talented artists! Now I can see why they call toi Sketch!" Brandon smiled and a dit as he fist bumped me "no problem; it's the least we could do! We're really sorry that Damien is being such a jerk! Every time he gets on his MySpace page, we tell him that he needs to get his butt here to LA and be with you! Oh and par the way; thanks for paying for our flight down here Mr. Jackson!" Dad a dit "of course and now that I see that toi guys are nothing like Damien is, toi can hang out with AJ plus often! Probably not a lot now because her first priority is being a mother but; every now and then is fine!"

November 16, 2008,

I was sitting on the canapé when the doorbell rang. I yelled "dad; I think Kate is here!" He opened the door and a dit "it's so nice to see toi again!" She ran into the living room to see me and a dit "hi AJ!" I a dit "hi; I would get up to hug toi but; I'm stuck!" All three of us started laughing and Kate sat down so I could hug her. She a dit "you look exhausted!" I rubbed my eyes and a dit "I am; I just want him out now!" Dad a dit "I don't think you'll be saying that when he is ready to come out!" Kate chuckled and asked "did toi set up all the nursery stuff we bought in your bedroom?" Dad a dit "I'm sure you've heard from the guys that Damien and AJ hang out with that they painted the mural on the bedroom wall." Kate a dit "they still haven't stopped talking about it! They were like 'dude; Michael Jackson's house is huge! We've never legally spray-painted anything before! He paid us $500 each for that one mural! He seems like such an awesome dad; AJ is so lucky!'" Dad a dit "we wanted to wait until toi came to set up the furniture because toi helped us pick everything out." She a dit "well; come on! I want to go see the mural too!" I asked "okay but; one of toi needs to help me up because I wasn't exaggerating when I a dit I was stuck!" The two of them laughed as they helped a very pregnant me off of the couch.

The three of us made our way upstairs as I grabbed onto dad for support. I opened my bedroom door and Kate was shocked par the state of my room. She a dit "the mural looks amazing but; there are clothes everywhere! Not to mention all the video games cases all over the floor!" Dad a dit "I was planning on cleaning up in here a few hours before AJ comes back from the hospital." She a dit "that's fine; I'll clean it! Just promise me that toi won't let your room get like this again after the baby is born!" Dad a dit "I'll make sure that she doesn't let it get like this again because I won't stand for it with a baby around!" She took a sigh of relief and a dit "that's good!"

As she picked up things in my room she noticed the mur opposite of the one with the mural on it. Almost 100 posters of Jesse McCartney were taped up there and dad a dit "oh; I see you've discovered Alanna's secret infatuation with J – Mac!" I a dit "dad; I can call him that but; it's creepy when toi do!" par the way Kate; I don't have an obsession with Jesse McCartney; no matter what my dad says!" She a dit as she pointed at the mur "you can't tell me that toi don't have an obsession with him with a mur like this! You're lucky that Damien can't see this because he would probably rip them all down! He hates the boy band type singers! He ripped all of his sisters Jonas Brothers posters down because I think he's jealous that they have girls falling all over them!" Dad chuckled and a dit "alright; enough about Jesse McCartney! We've got some decorating to do!"

November 18, 2008,

We were all sitting at the cuisine table, tableau when I got up and dad asked nervously "where are toi going?" I a dit "calm down dad! I'm just going to the bathroom! When the baby is coming; you'll be the first to know!" Kate rolled her eyes and a dit "oh my gosh Michael; AJ and I weren't nervous at all but; you're making us nervous! The last thing we need it for AJ to be nervous!"

I whispered from down the hall "Kate; come here!" She walked over secretively and saw that I was standing in a bloody puddle. She a dit "your dad's going to freak out!" She walked out back into the cuisine and dad asked "where's AJ?" She calmly responded "her water just broke." Dad stared at her in shock for a few secondes and a dit "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GO NOW!!!" Kate a dit "if you're like this Michael; toi going to stress her out! toi need to stay calm!" He took a deep breath and a dit "you're right! We really do need to leave though!" I a dit "can we talk about this another time!"

Dad and Kate walked me out to the car and helped me into the back seat. Kate got into the driver’s siège and started the car as dad sat down suivant to me. Dad a dit "it takes 15 minutes to get to the hospital! Are toi in any pain yet?" I a dit "a little bit so far." He held out his hand and I a dit "no; I don't have to hold your hand; it doesn't hurt that bad!" Dad a dit "trust me; you're going to want to hold my hand!" I a dit "I'm fine dad!"

We pulled up in front of the hospital and dad was surprised with how calm I was. We got out of the car and walked inside. Kate walked up to the front bureau and a dit "we have someone whose water just broke!" The staff brought a wheelchair out to me and we slowly started to go down to our hospital room all the way at the end of the long hall. When we were halfway there dad and Kate noticed the spontaneous change in me. Dad asked "are toi okay Alanna?" I put my hand over my forehead and a dit "I think I'm feeling it now!" Kate a dit "we're almost there; just a few feet away." I can say now that that walk down the hall seemed like it took hours!

I slowly moved from the wheelchair I was in and into the hospital bed. Dad asked "is the doctor coming?" Kate a dit "yeah; I can hear footsteps." A female doctor came into the room and a dit "I've heard that we have a baby on the way in here." Dad shook hands with her and a dit "nice to meet toi Dr. Benson" as he read her name tag. She looked at me and asked "how are toi feeling?" I a dit "it's slowly getting plus intense par the minute. It's not excruciating yet though!" She a dit "that's good! Let's see if you're really ready to have this baby!"

After examining me, she a dit "you're not ready yet! I'll be back in about 15 minutes to check again." She left the room and I asked as I looked up at Kate who was sitting beside my hospital lit "how long is it going to be before I can start pushing?" She a dit "who knows; it could be minutes ou it could be hours." I a dit "hours!" Dad kissed my forehead and he could tell that the pain was getting increasingly worse but; I was being my usual stubborn self and wasn't going to montrer my discomfort easily!

15 minutes later, Dr. Benson came back into the room and a dit "it seems to me like you're ready now!" I a dit "thank God" and dad a dit "the pushing is the painful part!" At this point, I was already sweating and trying my best to hide my tears. I asked "you mean to tell me that it's going to be plus painful than it already is right now?" Kate a dit "so much worse! Like the worst pressure you've ever felt in your life!" Dr. Benson asked "would toi like to have the epidural ou natural childbirth?" I asked confused "what's an epidural?" She responded "it's a needle full of medicine that numbs everything so toi can't feel any pain." I a dit "no I don't need that; I'm doing it naturally!" Dad a dit "AJ; I suggest toi use the epidural; I know how toi are and toi don't want to use it because toi want to be tough!" Kate a dit "I've done it once naturally and once with the epidural and I agree with your dad completely! I really think toi need to just go along with what we are suggesting! toi have to remember that your only 14 and I'm telling toi that toi are going to be in some serious pain if toi don't choose to go with the epidural; I'm just letting toi know!" I a dit as I looked up at Dr. Benson "no; I want to do this naturally." She asked "are toi 100% sure because once toi start pushing there is no changing your mind?" I a dit "yeah; I'm sure!" Dad and Kate looked at each other worried and dad sat in the chair suivant to her.

A few minutes later, Dr. Benson a dit "okay; push as hard as toi possibly can for as long as toi can!" What I felt with that very first push I couldn't possibly explain to you; I guess I guess I could compare it to someone slowly ripping the skin off your body! Not to mention the tremendous pressure that Kate had warned me about. Dr. Benson a dit "okay push again!" I started crying as I attempted again and the suivant thing I knew dad had grabbed my hand! I a dit "I told toi I didn't need to hold your hand dad!" He a dit "stop being so stubborn and push AJ!"

While I pushed for the third time I must've practically crushed dad's hand with how hard I was holding it! par the fourth time, I a dit "I WANT HIM OUT NOW! I'm going to kill Damien for putting me through this!" Dr. Benson a dit "I can see a head! It should only take about one plus BIG push to get him out! Kate switched places with dad so he could help Dr. Benson guide the baby out and suddenly I finally felt the relief I had been searching for!

secondes later, I heard my son cry for the first time and dad came over to me with tears in his eyes. He kissed the haut, retour au début of my head and a dit "you did it; he's here!" I started crying uncontrollably and a dit "I want to see Carter!" Kate walked over to where the nurses were evaluating him and a dit "he's beautiful AJ!” One of the nurses shouted "AJ; he weighs 7 pounds exactly." Dad went over to look at his grandson and I asked "will toi bring him over here to me now?"

Dad walked over to me with a bundle of blue blankets in his arms and a dit "here's Carter; don't forget to support his head!" That was the first time I saw my son and he was even cuter than I had imagined. Kate stroked his head while he was still in my arms and I passed him to her and she a dit "hi Carter; I'm your grandma!" I a dit while growing impatient "I want him back now!" Dr. Benson a dit "he seems pretty healthy so; instead of going for further evaluation, toi can keep him in here with toi guys! A nurse will come in and help toi finalize his birth certificate in about two hours!" Dad a dit "thank toi for everything Dr. Benson!" She a dit "no problem; this is why I l’amour my job!"

I passed Carter to dad and looked out the window that was suivant to me. I looked down at the parking lot and a dit "I think toi guys are going to want to see what I can see from over here!" Kate and dad got up and looked out the window. Dad asked "is that Damien? It is!" Kate a dit "he must've used my credit card to buy a plane ticket out here!” I bit my lip angrily and a dit "now after all this time he shows up!" Dad a dit as he grinded his teeth "I'm sorry about this Kate but; I'm about to go down there into the parking lot and kick your son's ass!!!" She a dit "go right ahead! I think I might rejoindre you! I'm seething with anger right now!" I a dit "whatever toi do don't let him come up here because I'll bash his head in! Yes I'm aware that I just had a baby but; at this point I don't care how exhausted I am he deserves it!" Dad a dit as he ran out of the room with Kate "don't worry; he won't want to after I'm done with him!” Forgetting that he had Carter in his arms, he quickly ran back into the room and passed him back to me!

As I saw the two of them storm to where Damien was; I decided to open the window so I could hear what was going on. Dad looked at Damien and asked "what do toi think you're doing here?" Damien a dit "I'm here to see my son!" Kate a dit "you're about nine months too late for that!" Damien a dit "I'm going to see my son!" Dad pushed Damien seeming to want to instigate a fight and a dit "no you're not!" Damien asked "you want to go? I'm not scared of toi Michael!" I a dit under my breath "well; toi should be!"

The two of them put their fists up and started to coup de poing the air around the others face!" Dad a dit "come on and coup de poing me then!!!" Damien swung his fist in the air but missed! I couldn't help but laugh and dad a dit "let me montrer toi how it's done jerk face!" I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could hear dad's fist make contact with Damien's face. Damien fell to the ground and Kate a dit "don't come back here! If toi think it's cool to run off like that then don't bother coming back to the house when toi go back to Vegas either! I'm canceling my credit cards and toi can have fun trying to make it on your own in the real world! Don't come crawling back to me when toi can't do it anymore! Until toi get your priorities straight and apologize to AJ; who I'd like to remind toi is the mother of your son… Just don't come back until toi grow a pair and own up to the stupid choices toi have made!" Damien stumbled off looking like he had sprained his ankle when he fell to the ground!

Dad and Kate came back upstairs to our room and I a dit "wow Kate; I didn't know that toi had that you!" Dad asked "was it just me ou did toi smell alcohol on Damien's breath too?" She a dit "I could too; I'm used to it though! He's been drinking since last year!" I shook my head in disbelief and dad smiled as he a dit "I can't believe I gave him a black eye! I don't think he will come back unless he grows up!" I a dit "if it doesn't bother toi Kate; I'd prefer to have Carter's last name be Jackson instead of Hayes because I don't think Damien deserves the right to have the same last name as his son! If he can prove to me that he does then I will have it legally changed!" She a dit "of course and I agree with you." I a dit "I can't wait to bring my little Carter Shawn Jackson accueil tomorrow so he can me everyone!"

November 19, 2008,

We were just arriving back to the house after leaving the hospital when I could see Blanket running excitedly down the driveway. I opened the car door and he a dit "I want to see Carter!" I a dit while whispering "you can see him when we get inside but; toi have to calm down and be quiet because he’s sleeping!" Dad and Kate walked inside behind me while I carried Carter in his car seat.

As I picked Carter up out of his car siège he started to cry. I was freaked out par this because I don't really know how to figure out what he needs yet. Dad came over and took him from me. I a dit "I don't know what he needs!" Dad asked as his eyes widened "well; are toi ready to learn how to change a diaper?" I a dit "I might as well learn how to now!" Dad a dit "I'll talk toi through it!"

Kate put a blanket down on the canapé and I laid Carter on it. Dad a dit "you don't have to clean him up with the wipes for 15 minutes AJ; oh my gosh!" I a dit "I just want to make sure I'm doing it right dad! Would toi rather I not be so meticulous about it?" He a dit "I like that toi want to be thorough but; you've got to go a little bit faster ou he might –! I asked "he might what?" Dad and Kate looked down and a dit "do that!" I looked to see what they were talking about and jumped up. I a dit "ewww toi didn't tell me that he would pee on me!" Dad a dit while laughing along with Kate "we tried to but toi wouldn't listen!" I shouted all the way from the bathroom where I made an attempt to save my chemise "that's so disgusting; it's not funny toi guys!" Kate a dit "just so toi know; everything about bébés and toddlers is disgusting; something is always going everywhere ou all over you… Welcome to motherhood AJ!" Dad a dit "he only got a little bit on you! Just wait till it's 2 in the morning one of these times and toi have to take a douche because of that!"

(awww i'm sad, the chapter after this one is the last one with Michael alive)