THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC seconde LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying toi screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything toi are not.
l’amour may be beautiful, l’amour may be bliss,
But I only slept with toi 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could l’amour no other --
That is until I met your brother.
roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I l’amour your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, toi take my breath away.
What have toi stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for toi no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
