toi sit beside Justin on the couch, laptop on your lap while toi scroll through your timeline on Twitter. Not finding anything interesting, toi switch over to going through your mentions. A smile finds its way to your lips as toi read through the tweets at the top, all of them flattering compliments. Your smile instantly turns into a frown however when toi continue to read and find aq lot of rather hateful messages.
“@y/t/n is so ugly… I don’t understand why Justin is with her”
“@y/t/n ever thought about trying a diet? I don’t think it’d hurt. Lol”
“@y/t/n just kill yourself already! Nobody wants toi here and Justin doesn’t l’amour you”
toi whimper softly, the familiar urge coming back. Closing your computer, toi place it on the coffee table, tableau in front of you. toi stand up from the canapé slowly and stretch your limbs - pretending to be tired. Of course, since the clock had only just reached 8pm, Justin looked at toi questioningly when toi announced that your were going to bed.
“Are toi okay, babe? toi know it’s only eight, right?” He asks toi skeptically and he adds a chuckle at the end, trying to conceal his concern for you.
“I’m okay, Justin. Just tired.” toi answer quickly. Leaning down, toi press your lips to his cheek, “Night.”
“Night…?” He trails off and his sentence is turned into a question because par then toi have already disappeared up the stairs.
———————-
A couple of weeks later, toi and Justin are eating dîner at accueil with Pattie, Scooter, Carin and Ryan and his girlfriend - who had become one of your best friends. Everyone are just enjoying themselves when Justin places the delicious looking nourriture at the table. Scooter lets out a holler, complimenting on how good it looked.
toi cringe as the wonderful taste enters nostrils, but toi still wait patiently for your turn. toi only place a small portion of nourriture on your plate though and you’re grateful that Justin is too engrossed in a conversation with Ryan too notice.
Throughout dinner, toi keep quiet and continuously poke your nourriture with the fork. toi don’t talk much either, only from time to time when Carin desperately tries to add toi into the conversation.
“Are toi okay, honey?” Pattie asks suddenly when she notices your absent mind.
toi bite your lip, placing the fork back down suivant to your plate. Looking up to meet Pattie’s concerned eyes, toi give her a small smile. “Yeah. I’m just not feeling too good. I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, hon, don’t apologize. We only want toi to be okay. Go take a nap, sweetheart. I’ll make sure Justin checks up on toi later.” Pattie gives toi a reassuring smile, but toi know her well and can easily see the worry deep within her eyes. toi nod, send an apologizing look to Ryan’s girlfriend before heading upstairs.
Meanwhile downstairs, all of the girls are looking at Justin hopelessly when toi disappear out of sight and they are sure toi can’t hear.
“Justin, something is up with [Y/N] and I don’t like it. She barely ate any of her food!” Carin exclaims and Justin nods.
“I know.” Justin states, his voice cracking at the last word. Before he can say anything else, Pattie is out of her chair and beside her son. She pulls him into her arms and Justin nuzzles his face into her neck, willing himself not to cry.
“I…” Justin trails of, pulling away from Pattie. “She has barely eaten for the past week. Last couple of weeks, actually. I’m so worried that she’s gonna faint anytime when I’m not there. What if she faints in the shower, mom? What would I do then?”
“Have toi tried talking to her about it, hon?”
“Yes! I’ve tried asking her about it, almost pressuring her into eat but she’ll either say that be isn’t hungry ou like she did now, saying she’s not hungry. I… I think she’s starving herself, mom, and I don’t know what to do.”
Justin looks so scared and Lost that Pattie’s cœur, coeur aches for her son. She wishes she can just take the pain away from him, but she also knows that this is something Justin and [Y/N] has to fix themselves.
“Go talk to her now, bro. We’ll leave toi guys alone. Thanks for dîner though.” Ryan speaks up for the first time. He stands from his chair and pulls his best friend into a hug. “Talk to her, find out what’s wrong and help her fix it. We need our girl back soon, JB. The happy, careless one.”
————-
“[Y/N]? Babe?”
toi hear Justin call out quietly and your cœur, coeur begins to race unbelievably fast, pumping the blood around in your veins. toi only watch as the blood streams faster from the cuts on your wrist, not moving a muscle.
Vaguely, toi can hear Justin call out your name again, but you’re caught up in your own world to think anything about it. toi continue to watch as the blood trickles down your forearm, dripping down and then staining your skinny jeans. Glancing around the bathroom toi notice your high heels and suddenly toi remember the guest toi had invited for dinner.
That’s when toi break. toi break into tears, your crying increasing every seconde until you’re full on sobbing. Forgetting about your cuts, toi bring your knees up to your chest. Hugging them, toi continue to sob uncontrollably and toi even have to gasp for air from time to time.
“Babe, is that you? [Y/N]? [Y/N]!” Justin’s voice is frantic now and before toi can respond ou even comprehend it, Justin has opened the bathroom door.
toi don’t look at him. toi don’t want to. toi just can’t. Justin doesn’t l’amour you. He thinks you’re ugly and so does everyone else. toi deserve this. So toi continue to sob into your knees, pretending your boyfriend isn’t there.
“Oh… My god. Babe!”
Justin is par your side like lightening and pulls toi into his arms. He gently pries your hands away from your knees par grabbing your wrists and if it hadn’t been for the cuts - toi wouldn’t have cared. toi wince and a whimper escapes your mouth which causes Justin to freeze his actions. He looks down slowly, as if he was afraid of the sight that would meet him. He takes a sharp breath, his hand shaking slightly as he inspects your arm.
“Fuck…” Justin mutters and toi can easily hear that it’s strained. He looks up again and his glazed eyes meet your puffy ones. “Why?” He croaks.
“Because I’m not good enough, Justin! I’ll never be good enough. I-I’m… I’m not good enough.” toi whisper the last word, still trying to catch toi breath as the salty tears continue to stream down your face.
“Of course you’re good enough! toi always have been and toi always will be. Who in the world told toi that toi weren’t?” Justin asks bewildered, anger blazing in his eyes.
“Your fans…”
“W-what?” Justin stammers, trying to understand what toi just told him.
“Your fans, Justin. They tweet me all the time saying how ugly I am, that I don’t deserve you, that I’m better off dead. It hurts, Justin. It hurts so much…” toi whimper, hiding your head in the crook of Justin’s neck.
“Shh, baby, I know. I know. Is it… Is that why toi haven’t been eating lately? Did any of them call toi fat?” Justin asks cautiously seeing as he doesn’t want to make toi feel worse. toi bare nod, but it’s there.
“[Y/N]…” And he’s crying too. toi feel his tears on your exposed neck, but toi don’t care. All toi want is yo sit there in Justin’s arms as long as possible. “I was so worried about you! I thought there was something seriously wrong. toi were almost avoiding me and it hurts knowing that toi don’t want to talk to me about it. I was so scared you’d faint as soon as my eyes left you. You’re so thin, so fragile… I don’t like this new you. I want the old [Y/N] back - the one I fell in l’amour with. Can toi do that?”
“I-I can’t, Justin. It hurts too much. I… I need to take the pain away. I deserve to be in pain!” toi whimper, the pain from your cuts now beginning to appear.
“No!” Justin exclaims immediately and toi flinch, hearing the tone of his voice.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I hate seeing toi in so much pain, [Y/N]. It physically hurts me to know that you’ve been hurting yourself. We’re gonna get through this, okay? I’ll talk to my fans, I’ll have a press conference, hell, I’ll even supprimer your twitter if I have to.” He laughs sadly, gripping each of your arms to pull toi away so he can look at you.
“Everything’s gonna be alright. I’ll help toi through this. I will be here every step of the way. I won’t leave, ever.”
“Promise?” toi sniff, looking at him. “I promise.”
“And toi are beautiful, okay? So damn beautiful. toi are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and toi always will be. I don’t want toi to change. I l’amour toi for you, [Y/N]. Forget those jealous bitches, they’ve got nothing on you. You’ll always be my favori girl.”
“You are so corny!” toi giggle quietly as Justin pulls toi close to him again. toi feel his chest shake as he laughs half-heartedly.
“Yes, but toi l’amour me!” Justin teases, stroking your hair softly.
“Mm, that’s true.” toi whisper as toi doze of. Tired of crying, tired of feeling useless, tired of starvation. So toi lay in Justin’s arms, listening to his calming heartbeat, while falling asleep. toi smile softly, knowing that Justin would always l’amour you, no matter what.
I just wanted to say that if any of you, anyone, have these kind of problems - I’m here. My ask box is always open and I’m here to talk if toi want me to be. And toi are beautiful. toi are so damn beautiful, all of you. I l’amour toi so much! x
“@y/t/n is so ugly… I don’t understand why Justin is with her”
“@y/t/n ever thought about trying a diet? I don’t think it’d hurt. Lol”
“@y/t/n just kill yourself already! Nobody wants toi here and Justin doesn’t l’amour you”
toi whimper softly, the familiar urge coming back. Closing your computer, toi place it on the coffee table, tableau in front of you. toi stand up from the canapé slowly and stretch your limbs - pretending to be tired. Of course, since the clock had only just reached 8pm, Justin looked at toi questioningly when toi announced that your were going to bed.
“Are toi okay, babe? toi know it’s only eight, right?” He asks toi skeptically and he adds a chuckle at the end, trying to conceal his concern for you.
“I’m okay, Justin. Just tired.” toi answer quickly. Leaning down, toi press your lips to his cheek, “Night.”
“Night…?” He trails off and his sentence is turned into a question because par then toi have already disappeared up the stairs.
———————-
A couple of weeks later, toi and Justin are eating dîner at accueil with Pattie, Scooter, Carin and Ryan and his girlfriend - who had become one of your best friends. Everyone are just enjoying themselves when Justin places the delicious looking nourriture at the table. Scooter lets out a holler, complimenting on how good it looked.
toi cringe as the wonderful taste enters nostrils, but toi still wait patiently for your turn. toi only place a small portion of nourriture on your plate though and you’re grateful that Justin is too engrossed in a conversation with Ryan too notice.
Throughout dinner, toi keep quiet and continuously poke your nourriture with the fork. toi don’t talk much either, only from time to time when Carin desperately tries to add toi into the conversation.
“Are toi okay, honey?” Pattie asks suddenly when she notices your absent mind.
toi bite your lip, placing the fork back down suivant to your plate. Looking up to meet Pattie’s concerned eyes, toi give her a small smile. “Yeah. I’m just not feeling too good. I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, hon, don’t apologize. We only want toi to be okay. Go take a nap, sweetheart. I’ll make sure Justin checks up on toi later.” Pattie gives toi a reassuring smile, but toi know her well and can easily see the worry deep within her eyes. toi nod, send an apologizing look to Ryan’s girlfriend before heading upstairs.
Meanwhile downstairs, all of the girls are looking at Justin hopelessly when toi disappear out of sight and they are sure toi can’t hear.
“Justin, something is up with [Y/N] and I don’t like it. She barely ate any of her food!” Carin exclaims and Justin nods.
“I know.” Justin states, his voice cracking at the last word. Before he can say anything else, Pattie is out of her chair and beside her son. She pulls him into her arms and Justin nuzzles his face into her neck, willing himself not to cry.
“I…” Justin trails of, pulling away from Pattie. “She has barely eaten for the past week. Last couple of weeks, actually. I’m so worried that she’s gonna faint anytime when I’m not there. What if she faints in the shower, mom? What would I do then?”
“Have toi tried talking to her about it, hon?”
“Yes! I’ve tried asking her about it, almost pressuring her into eat but she’ll either say that be isn’t hungry ou like she did now, saying she’s not hungry. I… I think she’s starving herself, mom, and I don’t know what to do.”
Justin looks so scared and Lost that Pattie’s cœur, coeur aches for her son. She wishes she can just take the pain away from him, but she also knows that this is something Justin and [Y/N] has to fix themselves.
“Go talk to her now, bro. We’ll leave toi guys alone. Thanks for dîner though.” Ryan speaks up for the first time. He stands from his chair and pulls his best friend into a hug. “Talk to her, find out what’s wrong and help her fix it. We need our girl back soon, JB. The happy, careless one.”
————-
“[Y/N]? Babe?”
toi hear Justin call out quietly and your cœur, coeur begins to race unbelievably fast, pumping the blood around in your veins. toi only watch as the blood streams faster from the cuts on your wrist, not moving a muscle.
Vaguely, toi can hear Justin call out your name again, but you’re caught up in your own world to think anything about it. toi continue to watch as the blood trickles down your forearm, dripping down and then staining your skinny jeans. Glancing around the bathroom toi notice your high heels and suddenly toi remember the guest toi had invited for dinner.
That’s when toi break. toi break into tears, your crying increasing every seconde until you’re full on sobbing. Forgetting about your cuts, toi bring your knees up to your chest. Hugging them, toi continue to sob uncontrollably and toi even have to gasp for air from time to time.
“Babe, is that you? [Y/N]? [Y/N]!” Justin’s voice is frantic now and before toi can respond ou even comprehend it, Justin has opened the bathroom door.
toi don’t look at him. toi don’t want to. toi just can’t. Justin doesn’t l’amour you. He thinks you’re ugly and so does everyone else. toi deserve this. So toi continue to sob into your knees, pretending your boyfriend isn’t there.
“Oh… My god. Babe!”
Justin is par your side like lightening and pulls toi into his arms. He gently pries your hands away from your knees par grabbing your wrists and if it hadn’t been for the cuts - toi wouldn’t have cared. toi wince and a whimper escapes your mouth which causes Justin to freeze his actions. He looks down slowly, as if he was afraid of the sight that would meet him. He takes a sharp breath, his hand shaking slightly as he inspects your arm.
“Fuck…” Justin mutters and toi can easily hear that it’s strained. He looks up again and his glazed eyes meet your puffy ones. “Why?” He croaks.
“Because I’m not good enough, Justin! I’ll never be good enough. I-I’m… I’m not good enough.” toi whisper the last word, still trying to catch toi breath as the salty tears continue to stream down your face.
“Of course you’re good enough! toi always have been and toi always will be. Who in the world told toi that toi weren’t?” Justin asks bewildered, anger blazing in his eyes.
“Your fans…”
“W-what?” Justin stammers, trying to understand what toi just told him.
“Your fans, Justin. They tweet me all the time saying how ugly I am, that I don’t deserve you, that I’m better off dead. It hurts, Justin. It hurts so much…” toi whimper, hiding your head in the crook of Justin’s neck.
“Shh, baby, I know. I know. Is it… Is that why toi haven’t been eating lately? Did any of them call toi fat?” Justin asks cautiously seeing as he doesn’t want to make toi feel worse. toi bare nod, but it’s there.
“[Y/N]…” And he’s crying too. toi feel his tears on your exposed neck, but toi don’t care. All toi want is yo sit there in Justin’s arms as long as possible. “I was so worried about you! I thought there was something seriously wrong. toi were almost avoiding me and it hurts knowing that toi don’t want to talk to me about it. I was so scared you’d faint as soon as my eyes left you. You’re so thin, so fragile… I don’t like this new you. I want the old [Y/N] back - the one I fell in l’amour with. Can toi do that?”
“I-I can’t, Justin. It hurts too much. I… I need to take the pain away. I deserve to be in pain!” toi whimper, the pain from your cuts now beginning to appear.
“No!” Justin exclaims immediately and toi flinch, hearing the tone of his voice.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I hate seeing toi in so much pain, [Y/N]. It physically hurts me to know that you’ve been hurting yourself. We’re gonna get through this, okay? I’ll talk to my fans, I’ll have a press conference, hell, I’ll even supprimer your twitter if I have to.” He laughs sadly, gripping each of your arms to pull toi away so he can look at you.
“Everything’s gonna be alright. I’ll help toi through this. I will be here every step of the way. I won’t leave, ever.”
“Promise?” toi sniff, looking at him. “I promise.”
“And toi are beautiful, okay? So damn beautiful. toi are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and toi always will be. I don’t want toi to change. I l’amour toi for you, [Y/N]. Forget those jealous bitches, they’ve got nothing on you. You’ll always be my favori girl.”
“You are so corny!” toi giggle quietly as Justin pulls toi close to him again. toi feel his chest shake as he laughs half-heartedly.
“Yes, but toi l’amour me!” Justin teases, stroking your hair softly.
“Mm, that’s true.” toi whisper as toi doze of. Tired of crying, tired of feeling useless, tired of starvation. So toi lay in Justin’s arms, listening to his calming heartbeat, while falling asleep. toi smile softly, knowing that Justin would always l’amour you, no matter what.
I just wanted to say that if any of you, anyone, have these kind of problems - I’m here. My ask box is always open and I’m here to talk if toi want me to be. And toi are beautiful. toi are so damn beautiful, all of you. I l’amour toi so much! x
