(The Cheerios were practicing a routine in the gym room, and their coach, Sue Sylvester was watching uncomfortably. She was rubbing her stomach and her forehead, wondering what was going on with her. She grabbed her megaphone to yell at her hard-working Cheerios.)
Sue: Ladies, this is a disappointment!
Santana: Coach Sylvester, we've been doing this for 4 hours today already.
Brittany (confused): Really? (She spoke to herself.) Damn, I can't count time...
Sue: toi look like baby elephants swinging from vines here. Let's look light and alive, people!
(Coach Roz, coach of the swim team, could be heard from the gym entrance. She shook her head and shouted to Sue.)
Coach Roz: You're the one to talk, Sylvester!
Sue (turning to Coach Roz): toi again?
Coach Roz: In all my days of coaching a synchronized swimming team, I've never seen worse leadership than this. toi mind handing me that megaphone of yours? In your condition, you're too weak to even pick up a marble par your chimpanzee-sized feet.
(A few Cheerios laughed at Coach Roz's joke. Sue, annoyed, looked up at Coach Roz.)
Sue: And what makes toi think I'm too weak to run a cheerleading squad?
Coach Roz: Look at you! You're lazier than the fat guy from the chicken and poisson commercials. That baby bump's gonna get bigger and bigger, until an éléphant head comes squeezing out of your snake hole. Believe me, toi won't be as strong as I sooner ou later.
Sue: toi really think so?
(Coach Roz nods. Sue turns to her Cheerios and tells them to go over the routine they practiced today. They did a good job even though they were tired. Coach Roz yawned.)
Coach Roz: Okay, I understand if this was a circus stunt. Now get ready for the pumped-up ride of your life.
(Twenty minutes later, all of the Cheerios except Becky and Santana were doing Coach Roz's version of the routine. All of the girls were crumping, and Brittany was the center of attention. At the end everyone applauded, Santana being the loudest.)
Cheerio #1: Amazing!
Cheerio #2: Coach Roz, that was awesome!
Brittany: That's better than what I see at the May jour Parade.
Coach Roz (to Sue): The fans have spoken, Sylvester. toi might as well hang up your pompons, your weakening vocal cords, and your weak ass. Wanna know why? I'm taking these Cheerios to the national championships.
(The cloche, bell suddenly rang. Coach Roz and the Cheerios left the gym room. Becky stayed behind to talk to Sue.)
Becky: I'm sorry she treated toi that way, Coach.
Sue: No, you're not.
Becky: What do toi mean?
Sue: I saw you. toi and Brittany were both pumping your little watermelons out of your leotards. I can't blame you, though. Yelling at toi is like killing a baby deer. Brittany, on the other hand, is as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, and it's very irritating.
Becky: toi need to take care of yourself so toi can raise your baby. I'll still be there to help lead Cheerios.
Sue (smiling): toi just made my day, Beckster. I'm glad I made toi co-captain. Now could toi please help with the equipment?
Becky: Got it, Coach.
(As Becky went to get the Cheerios equipment, Sue got up and started walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge. Some teachers spotted her and laughed.)
Teacher #1 (pointing to Sue's stomach): Look who came from the nourriture court.
Teacher #2 (laughs): And I thought my mother's sister was the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
(Enraged, Sue goes over and pulls the seconde teacher out of his chair par the chemise collar.)
Sue: Listen here, pal! I'll have toi know that I have a baby girl here swimming in this little pool sac as known as a womb. I'm still the same on the inside. Now if toi try and make me mad one plus time, I'll have everyone in this room hung on haut, retour au début of the Eiffel Tower par your ears! toi listening to me is definitely not the worst pain in the world! Don't act like you're trying to disrespect me, 'cause I'm a championship-winning Cheerios coach--best in the U.S. Beat that, toi filthy, no-good losers!
(Sue walked out of the room, trying to calm down from her little rant. The other teachers looked around.)
Teacher #3: What the hell was that?
Teacher #4: Fat b*tch...
So, what did toi think? I hope toi liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Twenty-Nine!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!
Sue: Ladies, this is a disappointment!
Santana: Coach Sylvester, we've been doing this for 4 hours today already.
Brittany (confused): Really? (She spoke to herself.) Damn, I can't count time...
Sue: toi look like baby elephants swinging from vines here. Let's look light and alive, people!
(Coach Roz, coach of the swim team, could be heard from the gym entrance. She shook her head and shouted to Sue.)
Coach Roz: You're the one to talk, Sylvester!
Sue (turning to Coach Roz): toi again?
Coach Roz: In all my days of coaching a synchronized swimming team, I've never seen worse leadership than this. toi mind handing me that megaphone of yours? In your condition, you're too weak to even pick up a marble par your chimpanzee-sized feet.
(A few Cheerios laughed at Coach Roz's joke. Sue, annoyed, looked up at Coach Roz.)
Sue: And what makes toi think I'm too weak to run a cheerleading squad?
Coach Roz: Look at you! You're lazier than the fat guy from the chicken and poisson commercials. That baby bump's gonna get bigger and bigger, until an éléphant head comes squeezing out of your snake hole. Believe me, toi won't be as strong as I sooner ou later.
Sue: toi really think so?
(Coach Roz nods. Sue turns to her Cheerios and tells them to go over the routine they practiced today. They did a good job even though they were tired. Coach Roz yawned.)
Coach Roz: Okay, I understand if this was a circus stunt. Now get ready for the pumped-up ride of your life.
(Twenty minutes later, all of the Cheerios except Becky and Santana were doing Coach Roz's version of the routine. All of the girls were crumping, and Brittany was the center of attention. At the end everyone applauded, Santana being the loudest.)
Cheerio #1: Amazing!
Cheerio #2: Coach Roz, that was awesome!
Brittany: That's better than what I see at the May jour Parade.
Coach Roz (to Sue): The fans have spoken, Sylvester. toi might as well hang up your pompons, your weakening vocal cords, and your weak ass. Wanna know why? I'm taking these Cheerios to the national championships.
(The cloche, bell suddenly rang. Coach Roz and the Cheerios left the gym room. Becky stayed behind to talk to Sue.)
Becky: I'm sorry she treated toi that way, Coach.
Sue: No, you're not.
Becky: What do toi mean?
Sue: I saw you. toi and Brittany were both pumping your little watermelons out of your leotards. I can't blame you, though. Yelling at toi is like killing a baby deer. Brittany, on the other hand, is as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, and it's very irritating.
Becky: toi need to take care of yourself so toi can raise your baby. I'll still be there to help lead Cheerios.
Sue (smiling): toi just made my day, Beckster. I'm glad I made toi co-captain. Now could toi please help with the equipment?
Becky: Got it, Coach.
(As Becky went to get the Cheerios equipment, Sue got up and started walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge. Some teachers spotted her and laughed.)
Teacher #1 (pointing to Sue's stomach): Look who came from the nourriture court.
Teacher #2 (laughs): And I thought my mother's sister was the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
(Enraged, Sue goes over and pulls the seconde teacher out of his chair par the chemise collar.)
Sue: Listen here, pal! I'll have toi know that I have a baby girl here swimming in this little pool sac as known as a womb. I'm still the same on the inside. Now if toi try and make me mad one plus time, I'll have everyone in this room hung on haut, retour au début of the Eiffel Tower par your ears! toi listening to me is definitely not the worst pain in the world! Don't act like you're trying to disrespect me, 'cause I'm a championship-winning Cheerios coach--best in the U.S. Beat that, toi filthy, no-good losers!
(Sue walked out of the room, trying to calm down from her little rant. The other teachers looked around.)
Teacher #3: What the hell was that?
Teacher #4: Fat b*tch...
So, what did toi think? I hope toi liked it.
Here's the link for Chapter Twenty-Nine!!!
Here's the link for Chapter Thirty-One!!!
You got called out par Madonna?
Jane Lynch: That was a big moment. Chris Colfer, who also got called out par Madonna, came over to me, shaking, with his phone and a dit “read this”, and we held each other tenderly.
Ryan did confirmer last weekend. He a dit “Hopefully there will be a seconde Madonna episode suivant year.”
Jane Lynch: That would be great! We just scratched the surface with her. We’ve not yet begun to pay homage to Madonna.
I think maybe one Madonna episode each year.
Jane Lynch: Oh, absolutely. It will always be the best episode of the year. I’m sure!
10 seasons of Glee, 10 Madonna episodes.
Jane Lynch: I l’amour it. Yes!
source:www.absolumentmadonna.fr
Dianna on ’sniper’ paparazzi: “In L.A., toi almost never see them. Sometimes it will be bought to my attention par someone on my team ou one of my Friends will email me and say ‘Isn’t this picture of toi funny?’ But it’s strangest when toi don’t see them…They’ll get pictures of you’re laughing and it looks like you’re smiling at them. That’s the strangest part. Guerrilla-sniper paparazzi.”
Mark on whether they’re actually getting grain de raisin, raisin slushie dumped on them: “It’s actually botox, so that we keep our youthful glow. Actually, we go back and forth between real slushies and this synthetic mixture.”
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