I'm sorry for asking so many questions but I need help with this please :'(

Yes God can read your mind. But remember, God loves toi and the people that toi are thinking about. So he will not make bad things happen because toi are thinking about them. God made toi and loves toi the way toi are. I don't think he will change toi into someone different unless it was for your good and His glory.
God does allow bad things to happen, but promises to bring good from it for all who l’amour him.
The thing about having these thoughts and fears is without meaning to, toi may act in a way to bring them to be. It's called self fullfilled prophecy.
God still heals. He also uses doctors to help people. My thoughts are toi need a proffesional to talk to and a doctor to possibly get the correct medication. It sounds like there may be a inbalance that can be corrected. There is no shame in getting help. But it is sad seeing someone living with this.
toi seem to have a really good heart. I hope and pray that toi receive the help toi need. I want toi to live and enjoy your life to your God donné potential. God bless.
P.S. toi know toi can always send me a message if toi ever need to chat. (:

well if it just randomly pops into your mind God knows whether you're serious ou not serious because that crap happens to me too but i'm not serious about it