"The Rules" from the male side
We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. toi need it down. toi don’t hear us complaining about toi leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon ou the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
8. Ask for what toi want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable réponses to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if toi want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. Anything we a dit 6 months il y a is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all commentaires become Null and void after 7 Days.
12. If toi think you’re fat, toi probably are. Don’t ask us.
13. If something we a dit can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes toi sad ou angry, we meant the other one.
14. You can either ask us to do something ou tell us how toi want it done. Not both. If toi already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever toi have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. citrouille is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and toi say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know toi are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If toi ask a question toi don’t want an answer to, expect an answer toi don’t want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything toi wear is fine… Really!
22. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless toi are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, ou Cars.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
26. Thank toi for lire this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the canapé tonight, but did toi know men really don't mind that, it’s like camping.
