Awake Club
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posted by Starwarschick18
“Stop, please I'm still awake. God Sam help me, Make them stop Tell them I'm still awake!” Sam Lockwood-Beresford awoke with a slight start at the sound of her husband's screams. She was getting used to them. Sam rubbed the sleep form her eyes and looked at the clock on her nightstand it read 5:46.

As quietly as she could Sam edged closer to her husband she wrapped her arms around his waist. She whispered soothingly “Clay, sweetheart it's all right your sûr, sans danger it's okay.”

After awhile saying this chant Clay awoke a strangled scream escaping his mouth.

Sam could see even in the dim darkness of their bedroom that he was sweating. She too sat up and a dit “Clay honey it's all right toi just had another nightmare.”

Clay rubbed his eyes and took some deep breaths. When he finally did answer her his voice was constricted with pain and fear “Sam I just can't get those memories out of my head.”

She rubbed his back softly and replied “Oh sweetie I completely understand really I do, toi want anything?” Clay ran a hand through his hair and a dit “No I just need to splash some water on my face and take another sleeping pill. I should be okay. Thanks baby”Clay kissed her soft and slow on her lips then he got up and started walking to the bathroom.

Sam smiled at him in the darkness she took his hand in her own pulling him back onto the bed. Sam then kissed his hand and a dit “I l’amour you.” Before he went in the bathroom Clay kissed hers back and replied “I l’amour you, so much.”

Clay then went into the bathroom and closed the door. Sam ran an hand through out her hair and thought sadly I really hope this ends soon.

Ever since her husband had open cœur, coeur surgery a an il y a he had been plagued par horrific nightmares.

The nightmares were a result of him being awake during his cœur, coeur transplant. It turned out that he had been awake and aware during the entire procedure.

This was because the anesthesiologist had miscalculated the right amount of anesthetic to make sure he was under.

The only good that had come out of the transplant surgery was that his new cœur, coeur was functioning perfectly.



Through the psychological and physical trauma on Clay was becoming plus and plus severe.

Clay had become a virtual insomniac not getting plus than a few hours of sleep a night.

The nightmares he had seemed to get worse nearly every other week. Clay was taking two different types of sleep aids through neither were working. Sam tried to be there for her husband .

She constantly begged him to open up to her about what his dreams were about and to tell her how he was feeling.

Clay continually rebuffed her efforts to help, saying that she couldn't understand his fear and pain about his ordeal because she herself hadn't experienced it.

Over the course of the an since Clay's surgery the couple had become increasingly distant. Clay barely talked to Sam anymore apart for some one word conversations. He had become depressed and withdrawn concentrating all of his energy into his work as a capital investment chief. Sam worried about his physical and mental health nearly every day.

The rest of the morning went with out Clay having any plus nightmares. The couple both got up promptly at seven.

Sam ran a bubble bath hoping it would cheer Clay up. As soon as the tub was full Sam called Clay in form his place in the bedroom. “Okay hun, toi can come in.”

Sam held her breath as Clay took in what she had done. Sam had placed purple lavender scented candles through out the bathroom. She also had filled the tub with purple lavender scented bath oil. Clay who had been standing in the doorway for five minutes still hadn't a dit a word. Sam took a deep breath then asked him “Well what do toi think, Would toi like to rejoindre me?” A rare smile broke across Clay's face. He took off his night chemise and boxers then a dit “I'd l’amour too.”

The couple then spent the rest of the morning in the sweet smelling bathtub.

Around ten thirty Sam and Clay got out of the tub and went to get dressed in silence like they had done nearly every morning for the past year. Sam was determined to have plus than a one word conversation with her husband this morning. Sam then pulled her hair back with a hair clasp cleared her throat and replied determinedly yet tentatively “So honey did toi like what I did to the bathroom this morning, did toi enjoy yourself?”

Sam wrapped her arms around Clay's waist and pulled him close to her. She then kissed him soft and slow on his lips. Through to Sam's disappointment Clay remained tense and stiff. After a moment Clay replied “I thought it was great baby. It smelled and felt really good.”

Clay kissed her on the cheek through it was only a thank toi Kiss Sam sighed and lessened her grip on him she then replied “Clay will toi please talk to me. Please honey just tell me what toi are feeling. I want to help toi I do but I can't unless toi talk to me.” She kissed Clay again and pleaded gently “Clay please.”

Clay exhaled slowly and an all too familiar look of annoyance came across his face. He kissed Sam back through there was hardly any l’amour ou passion in the kiss. After a moment he replied “I already told toi Sam toi wouldn't understand how I'm feeling unless toi went through what I did and toi didn't so there's no point in telling toi how I feel.”

Sam sighed and a dit “That may be true but I l’amour toi Clay and I can't stand back anymore and watch toi be in pain.
I want to help toi through this please toi need to trust me. Stop shutting me out honey. Please let me in .”

Clay picked up his suitcase he then gave Sam a rapide, swift peck on her cheek and a dit “Sam I know toi want to help me.
I do but I just don't feel like talking about this right now okay?” Sam sighed and a dit “All right honey I get it but, I do want to talk soon all right ?”

Clay gave Sam another Kiss through this time he kissed her on the lips and Sam could feel the l’amour in it.

Clay smiled slightly and a dit “Okay I promise toi we will, I l’amour toi baby.”

Sam smiled back at him and replied “All right Honey, I l’amour you. Are toi ready to go to work?” Clay nodded and the two of them made their way to the limo that waited for them outside of Sam's apartment. The limo stopped at the capital firm which Clay owned and worked at.

He gave Sam a rapide, swift Kiss on the cheek and made to get out of the limo, but Sam grabbed his hand and pulled him back onto the cushioned seat. She grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him very slowly. After a few secondes of s’embrasser Clay put a finger to her lips and a dit “Sam, baby I gotta go.”

Sam sighed and a dit “Okay, I just wanted to give toi something to think about all jour long. Good-bye honey have a nice day, I l’amour you.”

Clay smiled once again that morning and replied “Don't worry I'll be thinking about toi all jour after that kiss. toi have a nice jour too, l’amour you.” Sam sighed and a dit “Good I'm glad toi won't forget see toi tonight.”

Clay smiled and kissed her swiftly on the mouth grabbed his suitcase and a dit “All right baby.”

He then got out of the limo and went inside. Sam sighed again and hoped that they would talk that night about how he was feeling. The driver of the limo was a man in his late sixties. His name was Patrick Barren born in England through he had moved to the United States many years before. Patrick had been with the Beresford Family since Clay's father was a baby.

Patrick was a polite charming man. He had taken Sam's addition to the Beresford family extremely well. Sam thought of him as the father she never had. She normally confided in him about her problems.

Patrick was always there to listen and offer his conseil to her. Sometimes Sam really wouldn't know what she would do without Patrick. He was truly valuable to her.

Sam cleared her throat and a dit “ Patrick to the Beresford Manhattan Townhouse please”

Patrick nodded and a dit “Certainly Miss Samantha ”

With that Patrick started to drive the limo towards the Beresford Townhouse.
Another positive thing that came out of Clay's surgery was that Sam and Clay's mother Lilith had become extremely close over the last year. Sam was plus than Lilith's personal assistant and daughter-in-law she was one of Lilith's best Friends and Sam felt the same way about her. Waking at nearly six in the morning had taken a lot plus out of her than Sam wanted to admit. She shank back against the soft cushioned siège of the limo and closed her eyes. Quickly she fell asleep.

The suivant thing she knew Sam was being gently shaken awake par Patrick “Miss Samantha , Miss Samantha we have arrived .”

Sam slowly opened her eyes. She rubbed the weariness form them. Sam sat up and replied“Oh I'm sorry Patrick I must of dozed off.” Patrick offered Sam his hand and helped her out of the limo.

As Sam smoothed out her jupe and stretched Patrick asked her “Miss, are toi feeling all right. I mean toi were completely asleep in the back seat. Is everything well with Master Clayton and your self?”

Sam smiled at Patrick wearily and a dit “I'm afraid not Patrick, see Clay is having nightmares and he won't tell me about them. He won't let me help him.”

Patrick put his right hand on Sam's shoulder then a dit “ Miss Samantha I can only say this, Master Clayton will tell toi how he feels in time. toi mustn't rush him ou he won't tell toi anything. Just keep being there for Master Clayton he'll come around you'll see.”

Patrick flashed Sam a smile filled with a mixture of sympathy and caring.

Sam smiled back at him and a dit “Thank toi for listening Patrick it helps me plus than toi know us having our little talks. I would like it very much if toi could keep this specific conversation to yourself.” Patrick held up his hand and a dit “Of course Miss Samantha I understand.”

Sam smiled and replied “Thanks, Patrick have a good day.” Patrick tipped his hat at Sam and a dit “You as well Miss I'll come to get toi at eleven sharp.” Sam nodded and a dit “I'll be waiting.”

With that Patrick went to the limo got in the driver's side and drove off. Sam went inside the townhouse.

She hung up her manteau in the manteau room and got out her iPhone She then went into the cuisine were she knew Lilith would be at.

Lilith was indeed in the cuisine she was sitting at the table, tableau poured over her white Mac lab haut, retour au début her hands flying relentlessly across the keyboard that Sam was afraid she would break the keys. The sight soon became too much for her and Sam giggled softly. Lilith's concentration broken she jumped at Sam's laughter.

Sam a dit soothingly to her frenzied mother-in-law “Lilith it's okay it's only me.”

Lilith smiled wearily and a dit “Oh Sam it's so good to see toi dear. Please sit have some chamomile tea.”

Sam sat down across form Lilith and a dit “I really am sorry that I scared toi .”

Lilith poured Sam a cup of thé and placed it in front of her.

She than sat down and replied “Don't apologize dear I've been working too hard.”

The two then sipped there thé in silence for a few minutes. Lilith then asked Sam “So how is my Darling Clay, he is doing any better?”

Sam sipped her thé nervously. She pursed her lips then took a deep breath once she exhaled she a dit “Well no he keeps having nightmares about the surgery . He won't talk to be about them. In fact he hardly talks to me at all. Today was the first time we actually had a conversation that lasted for plus than a few minutes.”

Sam ran her hands through out her hair and a dit “Lilith I don't know what to do. I mean I tell Clay that I'm here for him but he never wants to open up to me.” Lilith went over to Sam and embraced her fiercely.

Sam stayed in Lilith's hug for a few moments she then pulled away form her and took plus sips of her tea. Lilith did the same finally after five minutes of silence

Lilith a dit “Sam dear toi can't pester Clay about these types of things. I'm as worried about him as toi are but if toi keep on going down this road he'll never open up to you.” Sam sighed and sipped her thé again she smiled at what Patrick told her a few hours prior. “That's exactly what Patrick a dit to me.”

Lilith laughed and a dit “Well I haven't kept him around this long just for his good driving skills toi know.” Sam laughed and it was welcome laughter she didn't realize how glum a mood she had been in until she started to laugh.

After a few secondes of laughing Sam sipped her thé again and a dit “Your right, thanks Lilith.” Lilith took Sam's hand and a dit “Don't worry yourself so much about Clay he'll be just fine. With some one like toi to pick up the pieces of this mess for him I know he's in good hands with you.”

Sam smiled and a dit “That's nice to hear I was afraid I wasn't doing anything for Clay.” Lilith squeezed Sam's hand softly and a dit “You are doing a great thing par just loving Clay. Sam that's the only thing he needs right now is your love.”

Sam sighed and replied “I am loving Clay but I'm scared that isn't enough”

Lilith let go of Sam's hand and replied “It is Sam toi just don't know it yet. Clay will come around. Trust me dear.”

Sam sighed and a dit “I hope so, I just can't stand to see Clay like this”

Lilith replied “Don't worry Sam it will all work out. Now have toi booked the Plaza's Grand ballroom for my charity benefit?” Sam smiled to herself and tapped a few touch screen buttons on her iPhone then replied “Yes I did for the twenty eighth of this month”

Lilith got up from her siège and started walking out of the cuisine and towards the living room.

She a dit over her shoulder to Sam “Come on Sam keep up I have so much to plan before this charity benefit and I'm going to need your help with it.”

Sam smiled took out a pen and paper than a dit “I'm ready what do want me to do first?”

Lilith a dit briskly “Call my florist tell him I need two hundred roses for the benefit. Then I want toi to call Wolfgang Puck and see if he will be able to be the head chef.”

Sam nodded and went about her work. As Sam did her duties as Lilith's personal assistant she let her worries about Clay fall to the wayside as they usually did while she worked. Through eleven came faster than Sam wanted and Lilith ordered her to go home. Sam casually a dit that she would be glad to stay longer.

Lilith was having none of it and told Sam to go accueil “You go accueil right now toi need to look after my Clay he needs toi Sam” Sam sighed and replied “All right see toi Monday Lilith.”

Lilith gave Sam a hug and a dit “Sounds good, l’amour toi dear.”

Sam grabbed her things and went out side to meet Patrick. Patrick tipped his hat at Sam and greeted her warmly “Good evening Miss Samantha how was your work day, may I take anything for you?” Patrick's voice was not only warm but concerned as he eyed Sam's large hand bag.

Sam smiled at Patrick and replied “It was just fine and no Patrick I've got it.” Patrick nodded and a dit “Very well”

Patrick then opened the passenger side door for her and Sam got in. The ride back to her apartment was silent as neither she ou Patrick spoke.

Finally the limo stopped at her apartment and Patrick helped Sam out of the car. Sam smiled at Patrick and a dit “Thank toi so much for your support over his whole situation with Clay.” She then gave Patrick a warm hug.

Patrick tipped his hat at her for the third time that day. He then a dit formally through Sam could tell there was l’amour in his reply“Think nothing of it Miss Samantha good night to toi and have a pleasant weekend.”

Sam nodded and a dit “Same to toi Patrick” Patrick smiled bowed slightly walked around to the driver's side of the limo got in and drove off. Sam watched Patrick drive off until she couldn't see the sleek black limousine any longer. Taking a deep breath Sam climbed the staircase to her apartment and opened the door.

The first thing that Sam noticed was the vibrant scent. It was the scent of roses they were her favori flower.

Sam shrugged off her manteau hung it on the manteau hanger and started calling for her husband “Clay, honey are toi here?”

Before she even took a step toward the bedroom Sam looked down and saw that there were bright red arrows on the floor. She smiled took off her shoes and followed the arrows. They led to the bedroom.

Their were rose petals scattered on haut, retour au début of the neatly made lit and pillows scented red rose candles also adorned the nightstands and window sill. Sam was in awe.

Through there was still no sign of Clay. Looking at the wonderful scene closer Sam spotted a yellow envelope on haut, retour au début of her pillow. She picked it up and opened it. It was a note in Clay's neat handwriting, Sam I hope toi like what toi see. In case your wondering where I am look in the bathroom. Sam smiled at the note.

She then pulled off her cashmere sweater and pants. Now only in her under clothes Sam took another deep breath and opened the bathroom door. Inside she saw a spectacular sight.

Clay had decorated the bathroom the same way he had done the bedroom. The bath tub was filled with sweet smelling red bubble bath on haut, retour au début of the water he had put rose petals . There were also rose petals on the floor and red rose scented candles on the bathroom's window sill. Sam was so enthralled with the scene she hardly noticed Clay standing par the bath tub clad only in his boxers

Sam smiled and went to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and a dit “Clay this has to be one of the most romantic things anyone's ever done for me.”

With that a dit Sam kissed him. Once she was done Clay replied “I'm glad toi like it.”

They kissed again and Sam asked “Honey why did toi do all of this?” Clay gently slid out of Sam's embrace he then slipped into the tub took a deep breath and stayed under the water for a few seconds.

Clay resurfaced wiped the water out of his eyes and motioned for Sam to rejoindre him.

Sam smiled at Clay warmly she got in the tub with him straddled Clay gently in the warm sweet smelling water. Clay wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and gathered her to his chest. Sam laid her head against Clay's chest and wound her arms around his neck. The couple stayed intertwined with each other in silence for a while neither of them caring ou wanting to speak for they were both content how they were. They kissed occasionally through didn't speak.

Around an heure ou so later the silence was starting to get to Sam.

She kissed Clay's cheek and a dit “Clay honey toi still haven't told me why toi did all of this.”

Clay kissed her back he took a deep breath exhaled then replied “Baby I keep reliving it, over and over in my head. I remember everything and feel everything again and again every heure every seconde of the jour since it happened.” As he was talking Sam whose head was still against his chest could feel and hear his cœur, coeur accelerate the plus he talked about the surgery.

Sam put a finger to Clay's lips and a dit “Oh Honey why didn't toi tell me all this sooner?”

Clay sighed and stayed silent for a few moments. Finally he took a deep breath and as he exhaled a dit “I was afraid if I told toi how I felt that it would only make toi worry about me. I didn't want to burden toi with the horrible things I had to endure during my surgery. It hurt me to even think about it much less tell someone else how I was feeling.”
Sam kissed his neck then replied “Don't ever be afraid to tell me how toi feel, Clay. I've been worrying myself crazy not knowing what was going on with you.”

They kissed and Clay a dit “Now that I've told toi how I've been feeling I feel so much better. Just talking about it with toi I feel like I'm really healing.”

Sam kissed Clay once again that night and a dit “Oh Honey I'm glad that toi told me too. I have to admit it wasn't easy to hear that toi went through all of that pain I am glad toi finally had the courage to tell me about it. Now maybe we can déplacer on form this.”

Sam kissed Clay again and a genuine smile broke across Clay's face as he replied “Yeah I think we finally can, I l’amour you” Sam smiled and a dit “I l’amour you.”

Clay gently lifted Sam off of his lap and stood up in the tub he then got out. Clay went into the linen closet and came back with a large towel he gave it to Sam who wrapped it around herself. Clay then bent down and scooped Sam up in his arms towel and all. Sam laughed and a dit “Clay were are toi taking me?”

Clay threw back his head and laughed once he then a dit “To our lit we are gonna have a good time tonight, Baby."

Sam laughed and a dit “Okay that sounds great Honey but maybe we should dry ourselves off first?”

Clay nodded and a dit “All right.” After the couple had dried off and gotten dressed they made l’amour for the first time in nearly a an and Sam couldn't remember any time where she felt so content and happy with her husband.

As they were lying in lit Sam propped her self on her elbow and looked at Clay lovingly for moment she then a dit

“Honey I l’amour toi so much. I know we can put your surgery past us and déplacer on. All we have do to is keep talking to each other about it.”

Clay kissed her and a dit “Yeah your right. I really wouldn't know what I'd do without toi Sam. I l’amour you.” Sam rolled herself on haut, retour au début of Clay and a dit “I know I l’amour you. You've shown that you've l’amour me psychically once tonight. "Through.. Sam kissed him "I wouldn't mind if toi showed me again” Clay laughed and a dit “Of course, I'd l’amour too.”

Sam smiled and started s’embrasser Clay on the neck she then started going down his body Clay reached over and turned his night stand lamp off.

Before she went to sleep Sam thought to herself. Lilith was right Clay is gonna be just fine.

With that thought in her mind Sam rolled over gave her husband a Kiss on his cheek and fell into a very content sleep. For the first time in over a an Clay had no nightmares.