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posted by fairfarren
 what i felt when i first met toi
what i felt when i first met you
'sup girl. i don't even know how to start this ou what to say but i'm a writer so imma wing it. there's like a galaxy worth of stuff i could say but then again it's like i can only grasp a constellation worth when i'm grasping. it's strange, sitting down and pouring out your cœur, coeur and soul. it makes toi vulnerable and open to the world in a weird way, but toi know everything about me anyway so it's not like it matters. anyway. so. when we met. hmm. that nostalgia man. i've already told toi like a million times how i sat in my laundry room trying to get wifi to talk to you. it's a special memory for me, how there was always something in me that reached out to toi even though toi were no plus than a stranger to me, no plus than a passing wanderer in life. and yet, something drew me to you, something i still can't pinpoint even to this day. but as we talked, we got closer and i tried to treasure every second. there have been times where i have been a horrible person, a horrible friend and i have mistreated toi and taken advantage of you. and there have been some horrible falling outs between us, in which i do not look upon often, but when i do, it's with a sorrowful countenance (excuse your resident literature buff lmao). but the point is, toi have always accepted me. accepted all sides of me. without question. and i appreciate that plus than toi know. that kind of loyalty and understanding cannot be earned ou gained ou bought. somehow i was lucky enough to meet you, to meet such a kind, honest person. and i have tried to accept each side of toi as well and i hope i have done a good job. if i achieve nothing else in life, i will have wanted to be a good friend. if, before toi die, i am that to toi then my life will have been worth living.
i l’amour you. i l’amour the angry rachel, the passionate rachel, the procrastinating rachel, the sweet rachel, the clingy rachel, the hilarious rachel, the deep rachel, the sad rachel. i l’amour them all. par now you're probably tired of lire your name haha sorry. but i just want toi to know that. i l’amour the sides i can't fathom, the sides i've forgotten, the sides i've not mentioned. i even l’amour the sides that irritate me, that annoy me. i even l’amour the sides i hate. don't ask me how ou why but i just do. and i always will. if toi ever need me for anything, i am par your side. toi are eternally stuck with me. thank toi for blessing me with your life, your presence, your soul. thank toi for giving me this connection i can never replace, return, ou trade.
we've been together four years. for years. that's crazy. years. touching someone's life so much they want to talk to toi everyday, they're interested in every aspect of your life, they are your best friend. it feels like a century. it feels like a moment. i wouldn't have believed someone if they told me i would be this close to you, that toi would mean this much to me. but now i can't imagine a world without you. fate ou god ou whatever, they were fucking smart to pull us together. we need each other. we build each other up when we're torn down. we wouldn't be here without each other. it's so weird to look upon. as an outsider, i don't think i could understand our friendship. it is a singular one. it is one in a hundred million. it's special. it's special to me, it's special in general. damn. how. i l’amour our crazy (THREE HOUR?!?!) conversations, how we can go from Disney princesses to the crevices of our soul, how we can tell each other everything, how we can talk about everything. not everyone can do that. not everyone can have that. i am so fucking lucky, i swear to god. thank you.
i l’amour you. those three words are so simple and yet hold so much. toi are everything to me. i l’amour you, my moon. and i will always be your sun.

"what do toi see, when toi look at me?
don't cover my scars, let them bleed
tell me, is this how it's supposed to be?
well then, i'm so, i'm so happy.
we don't need rehab."


lmao i got one or for this aMaZiNg article? i do l’amour you, houe :p
 you've always seen the best x
you've always seen the best x
 maybe i'll have to get this if toi don't want one gAh #firstworldproblems
maybe i'll have to get this if you don't want one gAh #firstworldproblems
 ma gunna lova (idek tryna be a rapper)
ma gunna lova (idek tryna be a rapper)
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