Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are Friends live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here until after the crossover parody ended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I was just asking. Sheesh.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody is... I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Leave it to me. Today's crossover parody is The Bob The Builder Show. This one combines Bob The Builder with The Bob Newhart Show.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Let's get it started.
The Bob The Builder montrer
Starring Tom Foolery as Bob
Snow Wonder as Emily
Saten Twist as Mr. Carlin
Sunny as Carol
Mortomis as Jerry
Blaze as Mr. Peterson
Master Sword as Howard
Heartsong as Ms. Dubois
Bob the builder is no longer a builder. He has left all his talking vehicles behind, and decided to start practicing therapy. He now lives in Chicagoat with a mare he just married named Emily.
Bob: *At work*
Carol: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Carol. Do I have any patients coming over today?
Carol: Yeah, toi have three.
Bob: Three patients. I wonder if they have any patience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: They aren't therapists like toi Bob.
Bob: Forget it.
Jerry: *Walks in* Being a dentist sucks!
Colgate: *Appears out of nowhere* I resent that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Why? What happened?
Jerry: I was just checking the teeth of this pony, and he a dit I was scary.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: Maybe you're really terrible at your job.
Mr. Carlin, Mr. Peterson, and Ms. Dubois arrived.
Mr. Carlin: Come on Bob, let's get this started. I can't wait all jour to make fun of these two weirdos.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Go into my office. I'll be with you.
Mr. Carlin: *Goes into Bob's office*
Mr. Peterson: *Follows Mr. Carlin*
Ms. Dubois: *Follows Mr. Peterson*
Bob: Carol, call my wife, and tell her I'll be back accueil in an hour.
Carol: toi got it.
Bob: *Walks into his office*
Mr. Peterson: Don't toi dare call me a spineless wuss.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What happened?
Mr. Carlin: I called him a spineless wuss.
Mr. Peterson: Because I was using light weights to work out yesterday.
Bob: How light were they?
Mr. Peterson: 1 pound.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Carlin: Need I say more.
Bob: Well, look. We have a problem, and when I have a problem, I like to fix it. So, now that we know what the problem is, it's time to use my catchphrase. Can we fix it?!
Mr. Carlin: Where the hell did toi get that shitty catchphrase?
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, at Bob's apartment.
Bob: *Enters apartment*
Emily: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Emily.
Emily: How was work?
Bob: Somepony a dit he didn't like my catchphrase.
Emily: Well it is kind of annoying.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Howard: *Walks into apartment*
Audience: *Cheering*
Howard: Who a dit that?! *Looks around room, and it scared.* Bob! Your apartment is haunted!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What are toi talking about?
Howard: I heard some ponies cheering, and laughing, and I don't know where it's coming from!
Bob: I didn't hear anything.
Emily: Neither did I.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Fine! If toi won't make your apartment less haunted, I will!
Bob: What are toi going to do?
Howard: I brought garlic to protect me!
Bob: That only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll stab any ghosts I see with a wooden stake.
Bob: Two problems with that plan. One, toi can't see where the ghost is, and two, that only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll.... No, that only works on vampires.
Bob: What?
Howard: I was going to call ghostbusters.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the suivant part of this episode,
Saten Twist goes drag racing.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on rue corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing suivant to Double Scoop*
Tom: plus ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands suivant to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 7: On The Block Was Filmed In Front Of A Live Audience
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Inspecting the bottom of his car*
Tom: *Walks in* Where are toi Saten Twist?
Saten Twist: Down here.
Tom: *Sees Saten Twist under a car* Did somepony run toi over?
Saten Twist: In a garage?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That doesn't answer my question.
Saten Twist: No, I did not get run over.
Master Sword: *Arrives, and sees Saten Twist* Saten Twist got hit par a car!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Jésus christ. I am modifying my car for a drag race!!
Tom: What for?
Saten Twist: I want to win enough money so that I can buy a chainsaw.
Master Sword: Is that all toi give a f**k about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Glares at Master Sword*
All three of them got in the car, and went towards a really long straight piece of road. They saw another car.
Tom: Looks like you're racing that station wagon.
Saten Twist: This will be too easy.
Master Sword: Then you'll get that unnecesary item toi already have.
Saten Twist: It's longer than the one I currently have!
Master Sword: Ooh, it's longer! Who cares?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: *Revs engine on station wagon*
Saten Twist: Mortomis! You're drag racing me?
Mortomis: That's right. You're going down!!
They both rev their engines, and a poney stood in front of them holding a light.
Saten Twist: *Looking at Mortomis*
Mortomis: *Looking at Saten Twist*
Light Pony: *Turns on light*
Saten Twist & Mortomis: *Pass the light pony*
Tom: Come on Twisty!
Saten Twist: Don't call me that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: You're winning, keep going!
Saten Twist: I'm not slowing down! I'm winning!
Mortomis: *Passes Saten Twist, and crosses the finish line*
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Surprised* I Lost to a station wagon!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's get to the skits before he tries to kill somepony.
Saten Twist: SOMEONE!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Who gives a shit?
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as olive
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
Everypony in the bodyshop was getting ready for work. During that, they were talking about movies.
Olive: Who saw the new Hunger Games film?
Gary: toi mean the first part of Mockingjay? I saw it.
Olive: Wasn't it awesome?
Gary: Yeah. I can't wait to see part 2.
Wheel Bearing: I didn't get to see it. I've been so busy with my family, that we don't get to go to the theater.
Olive: Why can't toi be busy with your family at the theater.
Wheel Bearing: I was there with my son, and we watched Frozen. His head blew up.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Edwina: That's what all Disney films do to you.
Gary: What are toi talking about? Disney made lots of great films.
Edwina: I just don't like Disney.
Olive: Why?
Edwina: Ask any jewish poney why, and you'll find out.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: I liked watching The Lion King.
Cutlass Supreme: My favori Disney film was Oliver & Company.
Tim: What was that one about?
Cutlass Supreme: About a cat that lives in Manehattan.
Tim: Who wants to see a film about some cat joining the mafia?
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: Looks like somepony never saw the movie.
Mr. Beddler: *Arrives* What are toi doing? toi should be ready for work right now.
Gary: We were talking about movies.
Mr. Beddler: Talk about them on your own time. Otherwise, I'll montrer toi a movie you'll never forget. It's so terrible you'll never forget it.
Gary: What is it?
Mr. Beddler: Django Unchained.
Gary: Actually, I like that film.
Audience: *Laughing*
Everypony shook their heads, saying they liked Django Unchained. Mr. Beddler was not amused.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Get to work! Danielle, I want toi to practice using a grinder.
Danielle: Okay.
So Mr. Beddler, and Danielle got a sand grinder plugged into an airhose, and set up for work.
Mr. Beddler: Now to use one of these, toi pull the trigger. The grinder toi see here is a disc. We call them DA grinders. Now what toi wanna do is use it on these spots I welded, and make the area feel really smooth. *Pulls trigger, and grinds the welded spots* There's a certain noise you'll hear when toi grind the area too much.
This was the noise: link
Mr. Beddler: Hear it?!
Danielle: Yeah.
Mr. Beddler: *Stops grinding* Okay, now toi try it. I gotta check on Gary, and Tim, to make sure they don't put paint on the painting booth windows.
Gary: *Painting the painting booth windows*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: Hurry up. We can't let anypony see what we're doing.
Gary: All good.
Tim: *Gets weed* Let's do this.
Audience: *Laughing*
Now Danielle was all par herself.
Danielle: Okay, so he a dit to grind the spots until that noise stops. Got it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: *Grinding one spot* No noise, good.
She only grinded the welding spots for only one second, because they didn't make the noise Danielle thought they were supposed to make. The areas she grinded were still uneven, then she started grinding the area Mr. Beddler did.
Danielle: *Hears noise as she grinds* Perfect. Now to keep grinding until it stops.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *Hears noise* What the hell? *Runs toward Danielle* Danielle, stop!!
Danielle: *Stops* What?
Mr. Beddler: toi were grinding that area too much. What were toi thinking?
Danielle: toi a dit to keep grinding until that noise stopped.
Mr. Beddler: No, I a dit toi stop when it makes that noise, because toi grinded it too much.
Danielle: Then make up your mind!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Forget it. Go help Cutlass with the dent on that limo.
Up suivant is a new skit about assassins. Credit goes to Purrloinedlove for this idea.
cul, ass cul, ass Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring arc en ciel Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic arc en ciel as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Los Angeles. A place for many great events, and some bad ones as well.
Audience: *Laughing*
One of the hotels in this town is called the cul, ass cul, ass Inn. It's got a secret strip club run par two mares, but the main reason for it's name, is because it's a hotel for assassins only.
Ranger: What's our target for the jour Mercury?
Mercury: Our target is to shoot down a green unicorn. He's a police officer that's been giving me trouble ever since I moved into this town.
Flashback
Police Pony: Hi.
Mercury: I don't like you.
Audience: *Laughing*
End flashback
Mercury: I need toi to take him down. You'll get nine grand for the job.
Ranger: Sure thing.
Mercury: *Turns head, and sees Marisa with George* George, toi either have her do that to toi somewhere private, ou don't do it at all!
Marisa: *Stands up*
George: Come on, she was just putting a tattoo on my hoof.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: toi mean she wasn't...
George: No.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Ranger was set up on a rooftop.
Ranger: *Looking through fusil, carabine scope, and hears his phone go off. He réponses the phone* Yes?
Pony: Hi, we work for Spamdex. How would toi like to be annoyed par an endless supply of advertisements on the internet?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: How would toi like to have your company go out of business?! *Hangs up*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Walking down street*
Ranger: *Aiming fusil, carabine at cop* Here we go.
Green Unicorn Cop: *Stops to answer a text message*
Ranger: *Shoots a bullet* Wait a sec, I'm shooting blanks!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Loads gun with real bullets*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Continues walking*
Pony: Hi, I work for Spamdex. Have we sent a virus to your computer yet?
Green Unicorn Cop: Spam yourself toi weirdo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Shoots Green Unicorn Cop*
Ponies: *Freaking out, and running away*
Spamdex Pony: Remain calm! I work for Spamdex!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: Mission accomplished.
Back at the cul, ass cul, ass Inn.
Mercury: Nicely done.
Ranger: Thank toi sir.
Mercury: No problem. Donovan, get off of Joanna!
Audience: *Laughing*
Donovan: It wasn't what toi thought it was sir.
Joanna: He was pretending that I was a jetski, and that he was riding through big waves.
Mercury: toi mean he wasn't...
Joanna: Of course not.
Donovan: I haven't done that to a mare since I graduated college.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up suivant is a classroom skit
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
As some of toi already know, some ponies despise going to school. Some of those ponies, are all the ones in Ms. Schultz's class.
Sunny: Geez, why do toi always give us hard questions?
Gary: I got something hard, but I think you'll like it.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Lauren: These questions are so difficult!
Ms. Schultz: Complaining will not help.
Brianna: Sure it will. If we continue complaining for a certain amount of time, you'll get mad, and send us to the principal's office.
Ms. Schultz: No I won't.
James: But you're a teacher. You're supposed to get mad at us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Anyway, how are these questions hard? 8 * 64 = what?
Lauren: What is that thing between the 8, and 64?
Gary: Your pussy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, if toi continue saying stuff like that, you'll have detention in the morning.
Gary: Whoop de do. I hate the morning. You'll be doing me a favor.
James: There's gotta be something toi like about the morning.
Maria: What about the sunrise? ou the birds singing.
Gary: ou waking up, realizing that toi have five days of torture in one week.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: At least suivant week, toi have two full days, and an early dismissal.
James: What for?
Ms. Schultz: Thanksgiving weekend.
Gary: I hate thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
Ms. Schultz: Then I have the perfect idea.
On a thursday, when Ms. Schultz's room was dark, with a few lights on.
Ms. Schultz: Are toi enjoying your morning detention?
Gary: Happy thanksgiving.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic arc en ciel as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia was in her office when suddenly..
Derpy: *Enters office* Twilight Sparkle has started a new school, and has made toi enroll for classes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: What are your thoughts about this?
Celestia: This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. I should be teaching that purple bitch! She robbed Pinkie Pie, and I punished Twilight par giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: She never should have robbed Pinkie Pie in the first place. This sucks! Now she's going to run a school that I'll be going to!
Later at the new school.
Twilight: Whad up niggas?
Audience: *Clapping*
Twilight: Let's start off our first jour of school with some arithmetic. What is one plus one?
Link to how Pinkie Pie is talking: link
Pinkie Pie: Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: I'm pretty sure the answer is nein. My best friend Rarity told me.
Twilight: Unfortunately, you're wrong.
Pinkie Pie: Screw that sex addict for giving me the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Though, I'm pretty sure someone else is doing that to her already.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Okay, Rick Astley, why don't toi try to answer?
Song: link
Rick Astley: *Rick rolling everyone*
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Rick Astley: We're no strangers to love! toi know the rules, and so do I!
Twilight: *Stops song* Man, that song sucks, and toi got the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Now it's your turn Celestia.
Celestia: The answer is two.
Twilight: And that's where you're wrong!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: WHAT?!
Twilight: Everypony knows the answer is window.
Audience: *Clapping*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Derpy: How was your first jour of school?
Celestia: That's a stupid question toi traverser, croix eyed dumbass. It was horrible! Twilight Sparkle not only runs the school, but she's my teacher! I told her that one, and one is two, but she a dit I was wrong. She sucks. I wanna get out of that school quickly!
Derpy: Princess, I think your crown is getting angry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back on the block
Master Sword: That's the end of this episode, but please be careful on the jour after Thanksgiving.
Tom: Black Friday can be very dangerous. To prove it, here's a clip we got from the internet.
poney 5: *Grabbing TV*
poney 63: HEY! Get your hooves off that TV!
poney 5: There's one just like this, go get your own TV.
poney 63: *Punches poney 5, and fights him on the ground*
Tom: If that's what Black Friday is like every year, I can imagine what it's like for African Equestrians.
Audience: *Laughing*
Black Ponies: *Shooting each other*
Black poney 35: Shoot dat Nigga! He's tryin' to steal those rims for my '64 Chevy.
Black poney 25: *Shoots Black pony*
Black poney 35: Nopony steals my rims for my car. Happy n***er friday motherf**kers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I think that's all the time we have for today. See toi after Thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
The End
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here until after the crossover parody ended.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I was just asking. Sheesh.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody is... I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Leave it to me. Today's crossover parody is The Bob The Builder Show. This one combines Bob The Builder with The Bob Newhart Show.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Let's get it started.
The Bob The Builder montrer
Starring Tom Foolery as Bob
Snow Wonder as Emily
Saten Twist as Mr. Carlin
Sunny as Carol
Mortomis as Jerry
Blaze as Mr. Peterson
Master Sword as Howard
Heartsong as Ms. Dubois
Bob the builder is no longer a builder. He has left all his talking vehicles behind, and decided to start practicing therapy. He now lives in Chicagoat with a mare he just married named Emily.
Bob: *At work*
Carol: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Carol. Do I have any patients coming over today?
Carol: Yeah, toi have three.
Bob: Three patients. I wonder if they have any patience.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: They aren't therapists like toi Bob.
Bob: Forget it.
Jerry: *Walks in* Being a dentist sucks!
Colgate: *Appears out of nowhere* I resent that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Why? What happened?
Jerry: I was just checking the teeth of this pony, and he a dit I was scary.
Audience: *Laughing*
Carol: Maybe you're really terrible at your job.
Mr. Carlin, Mr. Peterson, and Ms. Dubois arrived.
Mr. Carlin: Come on Bob, let's get this started. I can't wait all jour to make fun of these two weirdos.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: Go into my office. I'll be with you.
Mr. Carlin: *Goes into Bob's office*
Mr. Peterson: *Follows Mr. Carlin*
Ms. Dubois: *Follows Mr. Peterson*
Bob: Carol, call my wife, and tell her I'll be back accueil in an hour.
Carol: toi got it.
Bob: *Walks into his office*
Mr. Peterson: Don't toi dare call me a spineless wuss.
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What happened?
Mr. Carlin: I called him a spineless wuss.
Mr. Peterson: Because I was using light weights to work out yesterday.
Bob: How light were they?
Mr. Peterson: 1 pound.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Carlin: Need I say more.
Bob: Well, look. We have a problem, and when I have a problem, I like to fix it. So, now that we know what the problem is, it's time to use my catchphrase. Can we fix it?!
Mr. Carlin: Where the hell did toi get that shitty catchphrase?
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, at Bob's apartment.
Bob: *Enters apartment*
Emily: Hi Bob.
Bob: Hello Emily.
Emily: How was work?
Bob: Somepony a dit he didn't like my catchphrase.
Emily: Well it is kind of annoying.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Howard: *Walks into apartment*
Audience: *Cheering*
Howard: Who a dit that?! *Looks around room, and it scared.* Bob! Your apartment is haunted!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Bob: What are toi talking about?
Howard: I heard some ponies cheering, and laughing, and I don't know where it's coming from!
Bob: I didn't hear anything.
Emily: Neither did I.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Fine! If toi won't make your apartment less haunted, I will!
Bob: What are toi going to do?
Howard: I brought garlic to protect me!
Bob: That only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll stab any ghosts I see with a wooden stake.
Bob: Two problems with that plan. One, toi can't see where the ghost is, and two, that only works on vampires.
Audience: *Laughing*
Howard: Then I'll.... No, that only works on vampires.
Bob: What?
Howard: I was going to call ghostbusters.
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
On the suivant part of this episode,
Saten Twist goes drag racing.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on rue corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing suivant to Double Scoop*
Tom: plus ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands suivant to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 7: On The Block Was Filmed In Front Of A Live Audience
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Inspecting the bottom of his car*
Tom: *Walks in* Where are toi Saten Twist?
Saten Twist: Down here.
Tom: *Sees Saten Twist under a car* Did somepony run toi over?
Saten Twist: In a garage?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: That doesn't answer my question.
Saten Twist: No, I did not get run over.
Master Sword: *Arrives, and sees Saten Twist* Saten Twist got hit par a car!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: Jésus christ. I am modifying my car for a drag race!!
Tom: What for?
Saten Twist: I want to win enough money so that I can buy a chainsaw.
Master Sword: Is that all toi give a f**k about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Glares at Master Sword*
All three of them got in the car, and went towards a really long straight piece of road. They saw another car.
Tom: Looks like you're racing that station wagon.
Saten Twist: This will be too easy.
Master Sword: Then you'll get that unnecesary item toi already have.
Saten Twist: It's longer than the one I currently have!
Master Sword: Ooh, it's longer! Who cares?
Audience: *Laughing*
Mortomis: *Revs engine on station wagon*
Saten Twist: Mortomis! You're drag racing me?
Mortomis: That's right. You're going down!!
They both rev their engines, and a poney stood in front of them holding a light.
Saten Twist: *Looking at Mortomis*
Mortomis: *Looking at Saten Twist*
Light Pony: *Turns on light*
Saten Twist & Mortomis: *Pass the light pony*
Tom: Come on Twisty!
Saten Twist: Don't call me that!
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: You're winning, keep going!
Saten Twist: I'm not slowing down! I'm winning!
Mortomis: *Passes Saten Twist, and crosses the finish line*
Audience: *Laughing*
Saten Twist: *Surprised* I Lost to a station wagon!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Let's get to the skits before he tries to kill somepony.
Saten Twist: SOMEONE!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Who gives a shit?
Bodyshop Ponies
Starring Sophie Shimmer as Wheel Bearing
Heartsong as Dainelle DeVito
Snow Wonder as Cutlass Supreme
Tom Foolery as Gary
Mortomis as Mr. Beddler
Pleiades as olive
Master Sword as Tim
and Annie as Edwina
Everypony in the bodyshop was getting ready for work. During that, they were talking about movies.
Olive: Who saw the new Hunger Games film?
Gary: toi mean the first part of Mockingjay? I saw it.
Olive: Wasn't it awesome?
Gary: Yeah. I can't wait to see part 2.
Wheel Bearing: I didn't get to see it. I've been so busy with my family, that we don't get to go to the theater.
Olive: Why can't toi be busy with your family at the theater.
Wheel Bearing: I was there with my son, and we watched Frozen. His head blew up.
Audience: *Laughing, clapping, and whistling*
Edwina: That's what all Disney films do to you.
Gary: What are toi talking about? Disney made lots of great films.
Edwina: I just don't like Disney.
Olive: Why?
Edwina: Ask any jewish poney why, and you'll find out.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: I liked watching The Lion King.
Cutlass Supreme: My favori Disney film was Oliver & Company.
Tim: What was that one about?
Cutlass Supreme: About a cat that lives in Manehattan.
Tim: Who wants to see a film about some cat joining the mafia?
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: Looks like somepony never saw the movie.
Mr. Beddler: *Arrives* What are toi doing? toi should be ready for work right now.
Gary: We were talking about movies.
Mr. Beddler: Talk about them on your own time. Otherwise, I'll montrer toi a movie you'll never forget. It's so terrible you'll never forget it.
Gary: What is it?
Mr. Beddler: Django Unchained.
Gary: Actually, I like that film.
Audience: *Laughing*
Everypony shook their heads, saying they liked Django Unchained. Mr. Beddler was not amused.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Get to work! Danielle, I want toi to practice using a grinder.
Danielle: Okay.
So Mr. Beddler, and Danielle got a sand grinder plugged into an airhose, and set up for work.
Mr. Beddler: Now to use one of these, toi pull the trigger. The grinder toi see here is a disc. We call them DA grinders. Now what toi wanna do is use it on these spots I welded, and make the area feel really smooth. *Pulls trigger, and grinds the welded spots* There's a certain noise you'll hear when toi grind the area too much.
This was the noise: link
Mr. Beddler: Hear it?!
Danielle: Yeah.
Mr. Beddler: *Stops grinding* Okay, now toi try it. I gotta check on Gary, and Tim, to make sure they don't put paint on the painting booth windows.
Gary: *Painting the painting booth windows*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tim: Hurry up. We can't let anypony see what we're doing.
Gary: All good.
Tim: *Gets weed* Let's do this.
Audience: *Laughing*
Now Danielle was all par herself.
Danielle: Okay, so he a dit to grind the spots until that noise stops. Got it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Danielle: *Grinding one spot* No noise, good.
She only grinded the welding spots for only one second, because they didn't make the noise Danielle thought they were supposed to make. The areas she grinded were still uneven, then she started grinding the area Mr. Beddler did.
Danielle: *Hears noise as she grinds* Perfect. Now to keep grinding until it stops.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: *Hears noise* What the hell? *Runs toward Danielle* Danielle, stop!!
Danielle: *Stops* What?
Mr. Beddler: toi were grinding that area too much. What were toi thinking?
Danielle: toi a dit to keep grinding until that noise stopped.
Mr. Beddler: No, I a dit toi stop when it makes that noise, because toi grinded it too much.
Danielle: Then make up your mind!
Audience: *Laughing*
Mr. Beddler: Forget it. Go help Cutlass with the dent on that limo.
Up suivant is a new skit about assassins. Credit goes to Purrloinedlove for this idea.
cul, ass cul, ass Inn
Audience: *Laughing*
Starring arc en ciel Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Cosmic arc en ciel as Donovan
Blaze as Richard
Los Angeles. A place for many great events, and some bad ones as well.
Audience: *Laughing*
One of the hotels in this town is called the cul, ass cul, ass Inn. It's got a secret strip club run par two mares, but the main reason for it's name, is because it's a hotel for assassins only.
Ranger: What's our target for the jour Mercury?
Mercury: Our target is to shoot down a green unicorn. He's a police officer that's been giving me trouble ever since I moved into this town.
Flashback
Police Pony: Hi.
Mercury: I don't like you.
Audience: *Laughing*
End flashback
Mercury: I need toi to take him down. You'll get nine grand for the job.
Ranger: Sure thing.
Mercury: *Turns head, and sees Marisa with George* George, toi either have her do that to toi somewhere private, ou don't do it at all!
Marisa: *Stands up*
George: Come on, she was just putting a tattoo on my hoof.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mercury: toi mean she wasn't...
George: No.
Audience: *Laughing*
Meanwhile, Ranger was set up on a rooftop.
Ranger: *Looking through fusil, carabine scope, and hears his phone go off. He réponses the phone* Yes?
Pony: Hi, we work for Spamdex. How would toi like to be annoyed par an endless supply of advertisements on the internet?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: How would toi like to have your company go out of business?! *Hangs up*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Walking down street*
Ranger: *Aiming fusil, carabine at cop* Here we go.
Green Unicorn Cop: *Stops to answer a text message*
Ranger: *Shoots a bullet* Wait a sec, I'm shooting blanks!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Loads gun with real bullets*
Green Unicorn Cop: *Continues walking*
Pony: Hi, I work for Spamdex. Have we sent a virus to your computer yet?
Green Unicorn Cop: Spam yourself toi weirdo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: *Shoots Green Unicorn Cop*
Ponies: *Freaking out, and running away*
Spamdex Pony: Remain calm! I work for Spamdex!
Audience: *Laughing*
Ranger: Mission accomplished.
Back at the cul, ass cul, ass Inn.
Mercury: Nicely done.
Ranger: Thank toi sir.
Mercury: No problem. Donovan, get off of Joanna!
Audience: *Laughing*
Donovan: It wasn't what toi thought it was sir.
Joanna: He was pretending that I was a jetski, and that he was riding through big waves.
Mercury: toi mean he wasn't...
Joanna: Of course not.
Donovan: I haven't done that to a mare since I graduated college.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up suivant is a classroom skit
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
As some of toi already know, some ponies despise going to school. Some of those ponies, are all the ones in Ms. Schultz's class.
Sunny: Geez, why do toi always give us hard questions?
Gary: I got something hard, but I think you'll like it.
Audience: *Clapping, and whistling*
Lauren: These questions are so difficult!
Ms. Schultz: Complaining will not help.
Brianna: Sure it will. If we continue complaining for a certain amount of time, you'll get mad, and send us to the principal's office.
Ms. Schultz: No I won't.
James: But you're a teacher. You're supposed to get mad at us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Anyway, how are these questions hard? 8 * 64 = what?
Lauren: What is that thing between the 8, and 64?
Gary: Your pussy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Gary, if toi continue saying stuff like that, you'll have detention in the morning.
Gary: Whoop de do. I hate the morning. You'll be doing me a favor.
James: There's gotta be something toi like about the morning.
Maria: What about the sunrise? ou the birds singing.
Gary: ou waking up, realizing that toi have five days of torture in one week.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: At least suivant week, toi have two full days, and an early dismissal.
James: What for?
Ms. Schultz: Thanksgiving weekend.
Gary: I hate thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
Ms. Schultz: Then I have the perfect idea.
On a thursday, when Ms. Schultz's room was dark, with a few lights on.
Ms. Schultz: Are toi enjoying your morning detention?
Gary: Happy thanksgiving.
Audience: *Laughing*
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic arc en ciel as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Celestia was in her office when suddenly..
Derpy: *Enters office* Twilight Sparkle has started a new school, and has made toi enroll for classes.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: What are your thoughts about this?
Celestia: This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. I should be teaching that purple bitch! She robbed Pinkie Pie, and I punished Twilight par giving her the voice of Ice Cube.
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: She never should have robbed Pinkie Pie in the first place. This sucks! Now she's going to run a school that I'll be going to!
Later at the new school.
Twilight: Whad up niggas?
Audience: *Clapping*
Twilight: Let's start off our first jour of school with some arithmetic. What is one plus one?
Link to how Pinkie Pie is talking: link
Pinkie Pie: Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: I'm pretty sure the answer is nein. My best friend Rarity told me.
Twilight: Unfortunately, you're wrong.
Pinkie Pie: Screw that sex addict for giving me the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie Pie: Though, I'm pretty sure someone else is doing that to her already.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Okay, Rick Astley, why don't toi try to answer?
Song: link
Rick Astley: *Rick rolling everyone*
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Rick Astley: We're no strangers to love! toi know the rules, and so do I!
Twilight: *Stops song* Man, that song sucks, and toi got the wrong answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Now it's your turn Celestia.
Celestia: The answer is two.
Twilight: And that's where you're wrong!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: WHAT?!
Twilight: Everypony knows the answer is window.
Audience: *Clapping*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Derpy: How was your first jour of school?
Celestia: That's a stupid question toi traverser, croix eyed dumbass. It was horrible! Twilight Sparkle not only runs the school, but she's my teacher! I told her that one, and one is two, but she a dit I was wrong. She sucks. I wanna get out of that school quickly!
Derpy: Princess, I think your crown is getting angry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Back on the block
Master Sword: That's the end of this episode, but please be careful on the jour after Thanksgiving.
Tom: Black Friday can be very dangerous. To prove it, here's a clip we got from the internet.
poney 5: *Grabbing TV*
poney 63: HEY! Get your hooves off that TV!
poney 5: There's one just like this, go get your own TV.
poney 63: *Punches poney 5, and fights him on the ground*
Tom: If that's what Black Friday is like every year, I can imagine what it's like for African Equestrians.
Audience: *Laughing*
Black Ponies: *Shooting each other*
Black poney 35: Shoot dat Nigga! He's tryin' to steal those rims for my '64 Chevy.
Black poney 25: *Shoots Black pony*
Black poney 35: Nopony steals my rims for my car. Happy n***er friday motherf**kers.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I think that's all the time we have for today. See toi after Thanksgiving.
Audience: *Clapping*
The End
