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posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys l’amour flirts.
3. A guy can like toi for a minute, and then forget toi afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are toi doing something?" ou "Have toi eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all jour but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
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1. I l’amour the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I l’amour the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I l’amour the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I l’amour the way toi look at me.

5. I l’amour how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I l’amour the way I can’t imagine a jour without toi in my life.

7. I l’amour the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I l’amour the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I l’amour the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I l’amour how I know you’ll always be there when I need toi to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, ou to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get toi in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly par giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the suivant family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - toi may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin casquette, cap and feed him grapes when...
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DEMENTED POEMS

roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And montrer me your tits

roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And toi l’amour it up the shitter

roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

roses are shit
Violets are crap
montrer me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And avaler, hirondelle it down

roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
I never thought I would be doing a liste like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this liste with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please commentaire but be polite. Also, always commentaire because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers toi know.
12.Strangers toi don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to supprimer above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar toi grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something ou someone

3. Go up to a aléatoire person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aléatoire noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fontaine run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to toi in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When toi meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are toi doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t toi try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When toi ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while il y a and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask toi somethingand i want toi to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how toi feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want toi to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi ou Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious article on pcworld.com
Don't know who the auteur is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's trophée Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: Google
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a mot de passe other than "password" ou "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits suivant to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be plus imaginative.

I will not bore my boss par with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some plus excuses.

I will do less laundry and use plus deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
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This was definitely the most difficult liste I've made so far. I even made a few changes when I was deciding the ranking. toi can obviously tell that this wasn't easy and took A LOT of dedication in order for me to figure it out. First of all, I will only be talking about the haut, retour au début 10 and just listing the other women and montrer pictures. I figured that it not only makes it easier for me to make but also makes it easier for toi guys to read and not be overwhelmed. I hope toi enjoy it and keep in mind this is just my personal opinion. Please don't forget to commentaire and I can't wait to hear what...
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Give my regards to broadway. o-O

*Insert epic theme song here*

Alright, I'm pretty sure we all know who Spongebob is. The montrer was a funny, crazy, and inventive kids montrer that pretty much EVERYBODY ALIVE has at least heard of.

The montrer had memorable characters, funny comedy that everyone can enjoy, and.......

CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! ^____^

But one of my favori parts of the montrer was the songs, and today we're counting down the best of them!

BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SING BETTER THAN A TALKING SPONGE. ;D

#10. Striped Sweater!

link

Shots fired.

Seriously, this is EASILY the stupidest song on this...
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added by Juilet1234
posted by flippy_fan210
Some of toi might have heard of the game Facade. those of toi who have, toi probably wonder why they hate Melons so much. well, this is my theory.
_____________________-_____________________
Trip and Grace used to live in a normal home, no fancy apartment. they had a child, Phoebe. she...really liked melons.

she bought one when she was 5 and never let anyone eat it. they let her keep it. one day, she a dit "i want a cat". it was totally out of the blue, but they a dit yes, she got a little black cat and named him Ivan. she really loved him. one day, she took Ivan up to her room. she came down,...
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posted by Bluekait
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are plus likely to become serial killers.

Everything toi see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are plus likely to dream when toi are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If toi tear off paper from bottles, toi are sexually...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did toi get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A manchot, pingouin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your réponses must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating ou wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: toi are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in seconde place.
In which position are toi now?

Answer:

If toi answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. toi overtook the seconde runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the suivant question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If toi overtake the last...
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