A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.
Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then toi can say it fowards.
When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.
In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.
When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bière gets drunk.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris, but usually they grow up to be killed par Chuck Norris.
If toi type Chuch Norris in your GPS, It'll lead toi to a roundhouse kick to the face!
When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
The reason Superman changes outfits so fast in the phone booth is because Chuck Norris needed to make a call.
Chuck Norris can strangle toi with a cordless phone.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris likes heavy metal, his lit is made of iron.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
If toi spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did toi mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while toi still have the chance."
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, cars look both ways.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris Lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag , he potatoe sacks.
Chuck Norris's daughter Lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick mur in a game of tennis.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
When Chuck Norris gives toi the finger, he's telling toi how many secondes toi have left to live.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck can set ants on feu with a magnifying glass. At night.
The original titre for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen secondes long.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom because theres no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can run a 3-legged race par himself.
Chuck Norris can hit toi so hard your blood will bleed.
Tough men eat nails. Chuck Norris does all his grocery shopping at accueil Depot.
Chuck Norris can beat a black hole in tug of war.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a oreiller under his gun.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can coup de poing a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick toi in the back of the face.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a sûr, sans danger 30 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. par phone.
If toi avaler, hirondelle a quarter and Chuck Norris round house kicks toi in the stomach toi will crap out two dimes and a nickel.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris cures his headaches with cyanide.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange jus, jus de out of a lemon
Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken guitare Hero controller.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Everyt ime Chuck Norris steps outside, the doomesday clock ticks forward.
Jésus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can supprimer the Recycling Bin.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that toi will be handicapped if toi park there.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is Rebelle enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since
When Chuck Norris goes out to eat, he gets the whole chicken, but only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris isn't donné tests, he TAKES them.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris once had a cœur, coeur attack; his cœur, coeur lost.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
There is no theory of evolution, just a liste of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then toi can say it fowards.
When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.
In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.
When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bière gets drunk.
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris, but usually they grow up to be killed par Chuck Norris.
If toi type Chuch Norris in your GPS, It'll lead toi to a roundhouse kick to the face!
When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
The reason Superman changes outfits so fast in the phone booth is because Chuck Norris needed to make a call.
Chuck Norris can strangle toi with a cordless phone.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris likes heavy metal, his lit is made of iron.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
If toi spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did toi mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while toi still have the chance."
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, cars look both ways.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris Lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag , he potatoe sacks.
Chuck Norris's daughter Lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick mur in a game of tennis.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
When Chuck Norris gives toi the finger, he's telling toi how many secondes toi have left to live.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Chuck can set ants on feu with a magnifying glass. At night.
The original titre for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen secondes long.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom because theres no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can run a 3-legged race par himself.
Chuck Norris can hit toi so hard your blood will bleed.
Tough men eat nails. Chuck Norris does all his grocery shopping at accueil Depot.
Chuck Norris can beat a black hole in tug of war.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a oreiller under his gun.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can coup de poing a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick toi in the back of the face.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a sûr, sans danger 30 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. par phone.
If toi avaler, hirondelle a quarter and Chuck Norris round house kicks toi in the stomach toi will crap out two dimes and a nickel.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris cures his headaches with cyanide.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange jus, jus de out of a lemon
Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken guitare Hero controller.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Everyt ime Chuck Norris steps outside, the doomesday clock ticks forward.
Jésus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can supprimer the Recycling Bin.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that toi will be handicapped if toi park there.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is Rebelle enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
In the early 70's Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a fight. With just one round house kick to the face, Arnold hasn't talked the same ever since
When Chuck Norris goes out to eat, he gets the whole chicken, but only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris isn't donné tests, he TAKES them.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris once had a cœur, coeur attack; his cœur, coeur lost.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
There is no theory of evolution, just a liste of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
This has probably happened to a lot of toi because of taking notes in class.
Have toi ever got a little blister ou callus because of écriture too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure ou rubbing for too long against your skin.
Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the guitare ou even cooking a lot can result in calluses.
So toi have some calluses and toi want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.
toi can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with citron for 10 minutes and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams ou amande oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and toi will see a difference.
If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
Have toi ever got a little blister ou callus because of écriture too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure ou rubbing for too long against your skin.
Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the guitare ou even cooking a lot can result in calluses.
So toi have some calluses and toi want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.
toi can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with citron for 10 minutes and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams ou amande oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and toi will see a difference.
If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
"WANNA MAKE a cutte quick effective difference in life...?"
1) If toi Want to work for people ....Make your cœur, coeur the ultimate NGO and see the difference.
2) If toi want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference
3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.
4) As toi are the creator of your life, similarly toi are the destroyer of your life.
5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.
6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for toi
*always forget what toi did good for people
P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
1) If toi Want to work for people ....Make your cœur, coeur the ultimate NGO and see the difference.
2) If toi want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference
3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.
4) As toi are the creator of your life, similarly toi are the destroyer of your life.
5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.
6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for toi
*always forget what toi did good for people
P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
I've recently heard that some people are offended par the T- chemise slogan "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them," and think it's sexist and that people wouldn't react the same if it was women they were targeting.
But the thing is, I feel that the chemise isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five an old boy wearing a chemise that a dit "Girls Have Cooties" ou "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.
I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female ou male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.
But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have toi ever seen a T.V. montrer where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.
But the thing is, I feel that the chemise isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five an old boy wearing a chemise that a dit "Girls Have Cooties" ou "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.
I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female ou male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.
But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have toi ever seen a T.V. montrer where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.
When the Myspace account of Miley Cyrus was hacked two years ago, authorities didn't make any immediate arrests.
The F.B.I. recently caught Josh houx who admitted that he was the one who hacked Miley's account and distributed photos of the young star.
"He confirmed that he was the person who had obtained data from Miley Cyrus' MySpace account without authorization." a dit an official.
Miley Cyrus hacker has been identified after the F.B.I. arrested 21 year-old Josh houx in Nashville last week on charges related to multiple credit card numbers in his possession.
Josh not only hacked Miley, but many other étoile, star accounts! X/
We sure Miley is a lot plus at peace now that Josh has been busted.
A supermarché had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some plus trays and have them ready for toi par the time toi finish shopping." Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."