Floral fond d’écran

I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are toi busy?" ou "Are toi doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all jour but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re...

Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If toi consider it a sport to gather your nourriture par drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all jour hoping that the nourriture will swim by, toi might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each an because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, toi might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through April, toi might live in Michigan .

If toi instinctively walk like a manchot, pingouin for five months out of the year, toi might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...

Okay,No need to be so rough on yourself!Because toi know what?IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!Here are a few reasons that toi must continue to smile,laugh and to the teenagers who want to kill themselves why to live.
1.You're individual!You're yourself!You're not afraid of being who toi are and toi should be proud of it,because not many people are like that!Most of them pretend to be someone who they're not and that often makes them feel worse than you.Seeing that you're happy and you're free to express yourself they get aggressive and they want to make toi feel bad!I say:FUCK THEM!
2.If you're a little...

toi know you're a 'Furry Fan' when...
Rabies replaces cancer as your number one disease concern.
Your favori character from étoile, star Trek is Lieutenant M'Ress (from the animated series).
You think "Beauty and the Beast" was spoiled par Beast becoming human.
You replace Elle McPherson pinups with those of Amy the Squirrel, Erma Felna, ou Minerva Mink.
You slip the word 'fur' into as many places as possible in your mail.
You can identify a captionless book illustration as being Doug Wingers' in under ten seconds.
None of your favori female (or male) fiction characters are actually human.
You go...

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EMOTICONS
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: ) happy face
:-) just kidding ou happy
:-( depressed ou frowning
(:-( extremely Sad
B-) cool ou sunglasses
:-))) overweight
d:-) a baseball player
:-D laughing
:-P tongue sticking out
:-o surprised
8-o shocked
:-s confused
:- skeptical
:-)' drooling
:-)8 well dressed because of bow tie
8-) glasses
*<|:-) Santa
:-{} big mouth
=:-)= punk rocker with a goatee
:v) big nose
:-# braces
:^) broken nose
:-[#] eating
:<) Ivy League school
:-& tongue tied
:*) drunk
:-'] cold
[(:-)](:-( a toupee and it's windy
:-8 talking out of both...