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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a cercle that had its two sides gently compressed par a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a feu hydrant.

8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real canard that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine ou something.

9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

13. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

14. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like slip, caleçons in a dryer without Cling Free.

15. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

16. Long separated par cruel fate, the star-crossed amoureux raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

17. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

18. The little bateau gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

19. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

20. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when toi fry them in hot grease.

21. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

22. He fell for her like his cœur, coeur was a mob informant and she was the East River.

23. Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

24. He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.

25. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

26. She walked into my office like a mille pattes, mille-pattes with 98 missing legs.

27. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

28. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind toi get from not eating for a while.

29. “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after toi accidentally staple it to the wall.

31. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

32. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

33. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

34. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

35. Her rendez-vous amoureux, date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”

36. The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

37. The red brick mur was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

38. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever toi banged the door open again.

39. Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe plus like a mitten, actually.

40. Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.

41. They were as good Friends as the people on “Friends.”

42. Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.

43. The couteau was as sharp as the tone used par Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

44. He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly ou Larry, toi know, the one who goes woo woo woo.

45. The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.

46. Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.

47. The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fontaine statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.

48. I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit ou something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your pain bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

49. She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then toi lose the recipe, and on haut, retour au début of that toi can’t sing worth a damn.

50. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell beurre from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

51. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

52. Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung par mistake.

53. toi know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight par punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.

54. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

55. Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn par an inattentive phlebotomist.

56. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
1- eye contact , if toi notice him staring a lot at toi ..like plus than 5 times in the same jour .(unless toi got a stain on your shirt)
2- if toi and him were in the same area , he would be with toi in every where toi walk to ( like a party ou a concert ..etc)
3- he would sit suivant to toi in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream ou laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to toi hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if toi drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, toi answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, toi answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, toi answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, toi say “is that so?”
5. If toi so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher toi did not turn in your homework because toi were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When toi walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a glacière that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up liste is on my bureau for the part toi would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up liste on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When toi sleep over never boss me around in lit unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If toi don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” ou “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If toi want sex, just ask. (In case toi didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with plus than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are toi busy?" ou "Are toi doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all jour but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here toi go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here par my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes toi make me so mad i wanna throw toi in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style toi wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at toi trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can Kiss a guy* a bird can Kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can Kiss the grass* but toi my friend!! yes you!! toi CAN Kiss MY ASS*******

If toi didn't have feet toi wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do toi wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for toi %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make toi tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are toi remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with toi when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves toi more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her Friends say i l’amour her plus than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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I never thought I would be doing a liste like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this liste with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please commentaire but be polite. Also, always commentaire because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary Friends that toi talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome Friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time toi read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though toi may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't l’amour you, my love.

I loved toi with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar toi grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something ou someone

3. Go up to a aléatoire person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aléatoire noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fontaine run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to toi in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask toi say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing chemise sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If toi want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on Google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS ou If toi find a chemise store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the nourriture court and go to a fast nourriture place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a table, tableau chant elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as toi can "I l’amour THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT jour AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until toi see an old lady/guy...
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1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog nourriture is a beautiful thing to watch when toi are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when toi sleeeeeep.

13. Bye a dit Santa while eating Blitzen.
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped par terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds a volé, étole it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket a volé, étole it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall mur and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 secondes and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people toi can get to rejoindre in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department par sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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