aléatoire Article: 21 Funny Status Messages PT 2

6

posted by simpleplan

really don't hate you, I'm just severely allergic to stupidity

I'm not having a battle of wits with you, I refuse to fight a unarmed opponent

Who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary

People say money can't buy happiness. They LIE. Money can buy a jet-ski. toi ever see anyone unhappy on a jet-ski? Well?

Wants to know...If pistolets kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but toi are abusing the privilege

Why yes, I do frequently burst out in song

I mean Come on, really who took my crayons??

I'm not a stalker I'm just curious... par the way your out of lait

Wonders why they tell toi to smile for your drivers license... You're not going to be smiling when a cop pulls toi over

Going to sue Red taureau, bull for false advertisement and medical bills. They looked at me funny when I explained that I should have had wings when I jumped..

The wrapper on the toilet paper roll read "100% recycled". Really stop and think about that.

Of course I'll try to see things from your point of view, as soon as toi pull your head out of your ass.

"Strap-on" is "no-parts" spelled backwards. Coincidence?

Dares toi to press ALT + F4

Knows that the herbe is always greener, when it's rolled up in a paper

Is wondering if toi choke a smurf, what color does it turn???

I am going to Consumer Affairs. I bought a packet of M&M;'s and it was full of W's

I thought of toi today. I threw up in my mouth a little. I'm sure it was just a coincidence.

So sorry I missed you, I ran out of bullets.

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 4 others like this

Annacrombie lol i changed my status to I'm not a stalker I'm just curious... By the way your out of milk

sashlow i liked the sixth one best

dsprtpenguin haha me too :)

1

Soviet Russia Jokes!

added by KateKicksAss

aléatoire

added by tamar20

2

citations ♥

added by FutureDancer

Source: Me, Google, Photoscape

5

toi Are Perfect Just The Way toi Are...

posted by cuteypuffgirl

hommages to my friend, toi know who toi are, for the idea and the inspiration. Thank toi so much, toi are awesome :)

Perfection.
That's a word all of us have, ou will have, tried to accomplish. I'm pretty sure one of toi out there's trying to be the haut, retour au début of the class ou haut, retour au début of your sports team ou getting the attention of someone ou trying to make your parents proud ou something. And I'm pretty sure once ou twice one of us has failed. We've all felt insecure at one point, felt misery, darkness and pain. We've all felt the need to take our lives away ou draw blood ou run away ou something of that...

9

75 things to do in a car

posted by karpach_13

Fake carsickness.

Lean back in your siège on the person behind you.
Ask. Are we there yet? Every 5 Minutes.

Have arguments with someone in the car.

Stick your head out the window like a dog.

Sing with the radio loudly even if toi don’t know the words.

Actually get carsick.

Play with every gadget toi find in the car.

Have belching contests.

Accelerate and brake every 4 seconds.

Count to 10 before going at a stop sign.

Run a yellow light but change your mind while toi still can.

Drive down the left turn lane.

Slow down when toi see a sign that says, “bridge may be icy,” especially in the dead of summer....

8

Dont let my smile fool ya

posted by cute20k

Im swimming through the shadows
Try to escape from my fears
It's okay I'm fine
Ignore my tears.

Im dashing down the never ending hall
They might as well paint my fears on the wall
Whose gonna catch me when I fall
When I trip
Over the darkness

And don't let my smile fool ya
Cuz im just too sad to cry and
On the inside I am dyin'

Its like Im dying in my sleep
Im slowly killed par my dreams
Just remember that everything's never as it seems..

I could cry but say everything's alright
I'll just smile to get through the night.

Everything may look like it's going okay
But u can look past my smile
And its like nothings...

5

Funny Blonde Joke (no offense to blonde people :) )

posted by nessienjake

haha I loved it...^.^ no offense to any blonde people around fanpop and around the world :D

Blonde Joke
the funniest blonde joke
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange jus, jus de box because it a dit "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over...

25

58 Real Newspaper Headlines

posted by Shelly_McShelly

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

6. Farmer Bill Dies in House

7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

9. Stud Tires Out

10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

13. British Left gaufres on Falkland Islands

14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

15. Eye Drops off Shelf

16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids...