25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If toi don't straighten up, I'm going to knock toi into the middle of suivant week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I a dit so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me plus LOGIC .
"If toi fall out of that balançoire, swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure toi wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give toi something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will toi look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that épinard, épinards is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told toi once, I've told toi a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the cercle OF LIFE.
"I brought toi into this world, and I can take toi out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop jouer la comédie like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like toi do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when toi get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If toi don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't toi think I know when toi are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If toi don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.. Do toi think toi were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When toi get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One jour you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If toi don't straighten up, I'm going to knock toi into the middle of suivant week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I a dit so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me plus LOGIC .
"If toi fall out of that balançoire, swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure toi wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give toi something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will toi look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that épinard, épinards is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told toi once, I've told toi a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the cercle OF LIFE.
"I brought toi into this world, and I can take toi out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop jouer la comédie like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like toi do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when toi get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If toi don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't toi think I know when toi are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If toi don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.. Do toi think toi were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When toi get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One jour you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But toi sir, When you're born you're PINK, When toi grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When toi go in the sun toi turn RED, When you're cold toi turn BLUE, And when toi die toi turn PURPLE. And toi have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...