1) Pick up cat and berceau, station d’accueil it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. berceau, station d’accueil in left arm an repeat process.

3)Retreive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, craddle in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand . Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut and count to 10.

4) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from haut, retour au début of wardrobe. Call friend from garden.

5) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees , holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted par cat. Get friend to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

6) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

7) emballage, wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with its head just visible from below friend's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force chats mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

8) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to friend's forearm and remove from carpet with cold water and soap.

9) Retreive cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

10) Fetch scrwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for rendez-vous amoureux, date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

11) Ring feu brigade to retrieve cat from arbre across the road. Appologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

12) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed par large piece of fillet stake. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

13) Get friend to drive toi to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop par furniture boutique on way accueil to order new table.

14) Arrange for vet to make a house call.