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posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to déplacer on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When toi leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe toi embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If your professor objects, explain that toi "can't stand sitting in this pigsty any longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if toi have a question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about proper oral hygiene.
Carve a bust of your professor out of cheese. Tie a ribbon around it, and present it to him/her at the beginning of class. Demand extra credit.
Come to class every jour wearing scary Halloween masks. Try to get your professor to guess who toi are. Shoot him/her with a water pistol, scream, and run around the room knocking things over. Say, "Pretty scary, huh?"
Come to class with a jar full of angry hornets. Five minutes into class, release the hornets, scream, and run away.
Dispute everything your professor says, no matter how simple. Try to get him/her to "prove" everything to you. Rant and rave about what a big liar your professor is. Yell at students who are taking notes, saying, "Stop écriture down all these lies!"
Draw hearts and fleurs on the backs of your papers and tests. suivant to them, write things like, "You're the best, even though toi suck" and "You're the worst professor in the world, but I still l’amour you."
Every time your professor stutters, do a shot. If he/she objects, explain that drinking games make the class plus interesting.
Get a monkey, and bring it to class with you. Tell your professor that you've hired the monkey to take notes for you. Sit back and relax during class, letting the monkey scribble on a piece of paper. When it comes time to write a paper ou take a test, write down things like, "I wish I had a banana" and "I miss my tire swing." Assuming toi get a bad grade, angrily feu the monkey in front of your professor.
Get the whole class to montrer up a few minutes early, and throw a surprise party for your professor. Insist that toi can't start class until he/she has a piece of cake. Keep asking people when the strippers are going to arrive.
Hide somewhere inside the classroom. Wait for your professor to take attendance. Don't come out when he/she calls your name. Halfway through class, jump out and yell, "Just kidding! I'm here! Fooled toi again!" Sit down and be quiet for the rest of class.
If toi have an early morning class, get there before anyone else, and bring a pillow, some blankets, an air mattress, and an alarm clock. Wear your pajamas. Lie down on the air mattress with the oreiller and the blankets and act like you're asleep. Have the alarm set for about two minutes into class. When it goes off, preferably very loudly, hit the "snooze" button and go back to sleep. Keep doing so for the duration of the class.
Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor jouer la comédie Like Mr. Know-It-All" ou "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
Keep "accidentally" setting fires at your desk. Burn notebooks, papers, ou whatever toi have handy. Whenever toi start a fire, no matter how small it is, start yelling, "Fire! Fire!" and run out of the room in a panic. Don't return for the rest of class.
montrer up to class about ten minutes late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!" and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day.
Sit way at the back of the room, up against the wall, to get as far away from your professor as possible. While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises toi to sit closer to the front, tell him/her toi can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."
Start asking questions in a fake foreign language. Act like your professor is stupid for not being able to understand you. Get other people in the class to start speaking the fake language too, and have frequent discussions during class. Act like you're really interested in what you're discussing. If your professor tries to interrupt ou stop you, act annoyed and motion for him/her to quiet down.
Tell your professor that you'd like to interview him/her for a écriture class. Get him/her to tell toi his/her life story. Act interested, and write down everything he/she says. Fabricate a few romantic interludes and turn your efforts into a trashy romance novel. Make copies for the entire class, and your professor. Demand extra credit.
Wait for your professor to mention a date, and then yell out, "Bingo!" Apologize, and explain that toi got confused.
When toi have to write a paper, get it done early and mail it to your professor's house. From then on, don't hand anything in, and blame it on the sluggishness of the U.S. Postal Service.
When your professor gives toi a syllabus, take it home, correct it, give it a grade, and return it to the professor. Demand extra credit.
emballage, wrap yourself in bandages and come to class in a wheelchair. Throughout class, cry a lot and moan things like, "Why me?" and "Please kill me!" Get up during class, like your going to miraculously start walking. Instead, fall down, cry out in pain, and wait for someone to help toi back up. When class is over say, "I feel better now," leap up, and run home.
Write down everything that your professor says, word for word. Think up a melody, and turn the words into a song. Bring a guitare to class and perform the song for the class. Explain to your professor that he/she is "very inspiring."
Write your professor a note that says, "I'm going to be about 15 minutes late. Go ahead and start without me." Wait outside the building until the time when class is supposed to begin. Tie the note to a rock, and throw it through the window.
posted by -SkySplitter-
Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.

1. Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

A. Get in the car

2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

3. Q. What does an Eagle and a môle, mole have in common?

A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

4. A canard walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The canard doesn't say anything because its a duck.

5. Q. What...
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posted by nikkibellafan02
salut everybody there''s a contest on here that the kings of parodies The Nyackers are doing it's about that song All about that basse, bass par Meghan Trainor. If u do this they will make a fan club about u and make the article their own. But their are rules no copying their articles, no insulting people like someone else did and It needs to be Original. so if u have funny lyrics to this song then par all means come par take in this contest but hurry up it ends Halloween eve. ou U can make a spoof about it either way if u par take in this u MUST start It Immediately to have a chance to win so work fast if ur in. I was first so U have to try and haut, retour au début me.
salut everyone we have a new contest

Here's how it goes toi all know that sing All About basse, bass we'll we are doing a contest about that

Who ever creates the best All About basse, bass spoof ou parody article will get to decide what our suivant article should be about and we will make a fan club about you

Here are the rules

You must make fake lyrics of the song it can't be a rip off it has to be original and toi can't use your article to diss ou make fun of a fanpoper cause that leaves us no choice but to rapporter toi than we don't want to have to do that

You also can't copy our articles

But feel free to share...
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1. Your grandpa's horse's dandruff is in the shower.
2. The raisins on the counter are crunchy.
3. toi can stuff a oreiller with the rat fourrure on the canapé alone.
4. Your nightstand is jammed with garbage from middle school.
5. Clay dust from your old arts-and-crafts project is in your AC.
6. There are a hundred roach-sized headstones littering your cabinets.
7. Your cleaning supplies are only in your closet for show.
8. People hit the gas every time they drive down your street.
9. There's a dust bunny colony in your sheet.
10. toi don't even have much of a sheet anymore.
(At least five of these are from personal experience. Pictures would be appalling here.)
This is a true story. If anyone tells toi it isn't true, they are lying. Enjoy the story of my amazing life. -Lonk

I have always lived in PENNSYLVANIA. I was born in Pennsylvania and raised in Pennsylvania my whole life. I still live in Pennsylvania.

One day, when my mommy named Lonk's Mom was cooking, she realized she was cooking my boots. She stopped cooking, because she realized, those were my only pair of boots. She gazed into the boiling pot and didn't care about the fact that she might burn her hand and dipped her whole arm into the pot and took out my boots. I didn't see my boots,...
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There are many reasons why people abandon their dogs. Generally, it is not the dog's fault and often the decision to take a dog to an animal shelter is based not on emotion but on convenience. It is representative of a society lacking strong values--everything is disposable, including pets. People are encouraged to use excuses for their own behavior--it always is someone else's fault. In this case, it's the dog's fault!

Having a dog is a commitment to that animal for 10-15 years and should be a well thought out family decision based on a thorough investigation of the breed and breeder. Most...
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posted by Nick16
Some of what I'm about to say regarding Fanpop.com Website's prevarications is so childishly simple, I fear it may be patronizing to explain; I apologize in advance. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how what Fanpop.com insists are original philosophies are nothing plus than warmed-over versions of Marxism. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, it has been a dit that it breaks my cœur, coeur and fills my chest with agonizing pain when I see Fanpop.com violate values so important to our sense of community....
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posted by BlackPetals
(Literally sat down and typed this out...)

She gave away the secret.
She told him he was my crush.
I wanted her to keep it.
Now when he meets my eyes I blush.

Cheeks are red.
Heart is hammering.
I wasn't mistaken, wasn't misled.
Somewhere, others are yammering.

But in this closet, it's only us two.
This small room is full of me and you.
It should last.
It shouldn't end.

But afterwards, he told his friends.
I was just another girl he got alone.
I was just another girl to flirt with on the phone.
Whenever he was bored, when he had nothing to do.
I wasn't the first.
The first was you.

I met toi the suivant day,
You...
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added by tanyya
Jeremy:Yeah, why wouldn't I?" ???:"Exactly! Now follow the stranger into this magic portal!" Suddenly, Jeremy felt a rumble. Jeremy:"Hey! What are toi doing!?" Just then Jeremy blacked out. He then woke up in a castle? Jeremy:"Where am I!?" ???:"Your in Margonia! Names Oliver. Don't toi know that fictional things are real? Mario's a nice guy, he's kind of annoying with his jumping sound effects, and Sonic is...well, OK. I mean, toi don't really get used to giant talking foxes and stuff that easily.

And don't even get me STARTED on this guy! I mean, who would be bad-ass enough to carry a sword...
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THE LEGEND OF HIRO:EPISODE 1, THE HERO'S SWORD
It was a sunny night, in the peaceful state of New Mexico. Jeremy had not been able to sleep for the past 3 days. He had been suffering strange dreams of some...sword. Made of unbreakable or and had two blades. But the thought of the sword faded as he heard a scream and.....woke up in his bedroom. "JEREMY!!!YOUR LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!SO GET YOUR SORRY SELF TO THE FRONT DOOR!!!NOW!!!" Jeremy knew that he WAS, in fact late, but only par a minute. He quickly got dressed and brushed his hair and teeth, then passed his red-faced mother and went off to school....
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posted by Tailsfan99
In the past six months alone, dozens of studies examining the health impact of drinking sugary beverages ou diet soda have been published in medical journals. Some suggested a relationship; others did not.

Sometimes, the media coverage of these studies took the researchers par surprise.

That was the case for epidemiologist Hannah Gardener, PhD, of the université of Miami. In February, she presented early results from her ongoing research at a health conference, and was completely unprepared for the media attention it received.

The story appeared on all the major networks, in most major newspapers,...
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~ barium tetraiodomercurate

~ barium hexafluorosilicate

~ beryllium acetylacetonate

~ barium pyrovanadate

~ dichlorodifluoromethanefreon

~ trichloromethanemethyl trichloride

~ dimethylsulfoniopropionate

~ tetrahydrocannabinol

~ nitridotriphosphorous hexafluoride

~ pentafluorosulfanyldifluoroamine

~ aluminium-gallium-indium phosphide

~bismuth nitrate pentahydrate

~ tetrafluoroethylene

~ bromoisobutyric acid

~ cyclopentadienyl anion

~ acetylbutyric acid

~ butyl glyoxylate    

~ hydroxypropyl acrylate

~ propyl pyruvate

~ decaprenoastaxanthin
added by BlondLionEzel
Source: Google
posted by BlondLionEzel
Plot: The plot would be the same as the Madoka Magica animé series.

Director: Micheal baie

Scriptwriter: Ehren Kruger

Music: Steve Jablonsky (Featuring "Connect" par Linkin Park)

Cinematography: Amir Mokri

Editing: Paul Rubell
Roger Barton
William Goldenberg

Production Companies: Paramount Pictures
Hasbro
Magica Quartet

Distributed By: Paramount Pictures

Release Date: June 25th, 2016

Running Time: 170 minutes

Country: United States
Japan

Budget: $230 Million

Cast

Magical Girls:

Willow Shields as Madoka Kaname
Madison Pettis as Sayaka Miki
Bailee Madison as Homura Akemi
Peyton liste as Mami Tomoe...
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I'm back again! I'm reviewing Godzilla 2014!

Plot: Godzilla must defeat the evil MUTO, with the help of scientists and soldiers.

This movie...is one of the most films of 2014! The effects were beautiful, the fights were amazing, and everything was just awesome!

Score: 5/5

Music: The score was amazing...the Shakuhachi made the atmosphere feel great!

Score: 5/5

Characters(Heroes): While I will admit that Godzilla doesn't appear til' about 45 minutes in. And the human characters are alright. Ken Watanabe plays probably the most awesome scientist ever!

Score: 4/5

Characters(Villains): The MUTOs are both amazing! Its a great display of Sexual Dimorpisim (The Male MUTO can fly, and the Female MUTO has eight legs).

Score: 4/5

Final Thoughts: If toi want to start watching Godzilla movies, put this on the list!

Final Score: 18/20

Would I recommend it? YES
posted by BlondLionEzel
Hi I'm back! And today I shall be reviewing Maleficent!

Plot: The evil Maleficent returns in this modern re-telling of Sleeping Beauty!

This movie should not have been called a "Re-Telling", it's completely different! Why did they make Maleficent the hero?! And the ending made no sense!

Score: 2/5

Music: Now I'll admit it, I thought the musique was so-so. I liked "Once Upon a Dream" was pretty good.

Score: 3/5

Characters(Heroes): I thought that Elle Fanning was adorable as Aurora. And Brenton Thwaites was a pretty good Prince Phillip. The 3 Fairy Godparents were annoying.

Score: 3/5

Characters(Villains): I thought it was an odd choice picking Angelina Jolie to play Maleficent. The odd thing was I never felt sorry for her. She curses an infant for Godzilla's sake!

Score: 1/5

Final Thoughts: If toi are into villains being shown as heroes, this movie is for you. For anyone else, no.

Final Score: 9/20

Would I recommend it? NO
posted by CorporalSununu
Well, if this is indeed the aléatoire club, I think this is a good place to put a [b]random[b] article.
So, for this aléatoire article, I'll be putting some strange yet sort of weirdly interesting facts. Let the games begin:
-Barbie is a nickname. Her full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts
-Hello Kitty is not her real name. A few years back, Sanrio published a book about her, including a family tree, which stated her name was Kitty White.
-Johnny Depp has never won an oscar.
-Mel blanc was a man who did every single voice in the majority of the Bugs Bunny cartoons, and his voicing liste goes on and on....
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posted by BlondLionEzel
Rant 2: Geewuners!

I'm baaack!

Here's something that annoys me: Geewuners!

If you're new to the concept, Geewuners are people who are fans of Transformers G1 and think that everything is crap! Not all G1 fans are Geewuners, as I like G1 myself. But the difference between me and Geewuners is that I like Armada, Beast Wars, Beast Wars 2, Beast Wars Neo, Beast Machines, Robots in Disguise, Cybertron, Energon, Bayformers, Prime, and Go!

I know that they want to keep their "Nostalgia", but come on, it's not just for you. Just ask the millions of people who watch and buy Micheal Bay's Transformers.

On a different note, people should open their minds to the Transformers 4 Dinobots. I know they're not G1 Dinobots, but their not supposed to be!

I just think that Geewuners should open their minds to other series.
posted by KyoyaTategami01
Yo Moma so fat that she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit

Yo Moma so fat,when she dies in Call of Duty,the player get's the 5 person kill streak

Yo Moma so stupid that she played got your nose with Voldemort

Yo Moma so fat,the sorting hat has signed her to the house of pancakes

Yo Moma so stupid that Rebecca Black told her Thursday comes before Friday

Yo Moma so fat,she's a map on Call of Duty

Yo Moma so ugly,she's the reason why Waldo is hiding

Yo Moma so stupid,she brought tickets to Xbox Live

Yo Moma so ugly,she makes blind kids cry

Yo Moma so fat,when she sat on the iPod,she made the iPad

Yo Moma so...
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