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Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make l’amour with toi
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until toi find your contact lens.
coup de poing the body and tell people that he hit toi first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of toi shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give toi a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.
Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.
Leave some phony dog poop on haut, retour au début of the deceased.
Tell the widow that toi have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over.
Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood.
Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.
Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you.
Take up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts.
Ask the widow if toi can have the body to practice tatooing on.
Put Crazy Glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss.
montrer up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose.
When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's mouth.
Toss a handful of cooked riz on the deceased and scream "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint.
At the cemetery take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose.
oie the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin.
Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried.
Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for back-taxes.
Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face while praising the deceased.
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posted by thatguywashot
1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray chiens in manteau closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet musique with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person suivant to it: "Is this siège SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant plage ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten minutes before it starts, find...
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