Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...
1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open par themselves.
2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call toi Admiral.
3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until toi hear the penny toi dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
4. Do Tai Chi exercises.
5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
6. Meow occasionally.
7. Bet the other passengers toi can fit a quarter in your nose.
8. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
9. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
10. Push the buttons and pretend they give toi a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
11. Ask if toi can push the button for other people, then push the wrong ones.
12. Drop a pen, and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream, "That's mine!!"
13. Bring a camera, and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
14. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
15. Call out "GROUP HUG!!" then enforce it.
16. Pretend toi are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
17. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
18. Shave.
19. Crack open your mallette, porte-documents ou purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
21. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
22. Play the accordion.
23. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
24. Lean against the button panel.
25. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
26. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
27. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
28. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
29. montrer other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
30. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends
31. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and déplacer to the far corner of the elevator.
32. Leave a box between the doors.
33. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
34. Start a sing-along.
35. Bring a chair along.
36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
37. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
38. Petend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes
39. Set out a picnic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to rejoindre toi in afternoon thé
40. Say toi have just won the lottery and toi are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you.
41. Act surprised when it starts to déplacer and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"
42. On entering, ask the passengers if they want to be your friend. Burst into tears if they say no.
43. Take your shoes off before entering; Look shocked and disgusted when the others don’t
44. Teach the people French. Don’t let them leave till they get it right
45. Try break dancing
46. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
47. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' style “Is that your final answer?”
48. Point a feu extinguisher at the door as it opens and a passenger tries to enter, "ready, aim," and bend the nozzle round and cover yourself with foam.
49. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
50. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open par themselves.
2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call toi Admiral.
3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until toi hear the penny toi dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
4. Do Tai Chi exercises.
5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
6. Meow occasionally.
7. Bet the other passengers toi can fit a quarter in your nose.
8. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
9. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
10. Push the buttons and pretend they give toi a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
11. Ask if toi can push the button for other people, then push the wrong ones.
12. Drop a pen, and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream, "That's mine!!"
13. Bring a camera, and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
14. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
15. Call out "GROUP HUG!!" then enforce it.
16. Pretend toi are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
17. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
18. Shave.
19. Crack open your mallette, porte-documents ou purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
21. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
22. Play the accordion.
23. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
24. Lean against the button panel.
25. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
26. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
27. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
28. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
29. montrer other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
30. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends
31. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and déplacer to the far corner of the elevator.
32. Leave a box between the doors.
33. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
34. Start a sing-along.
35. Bring a chair along.
36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
37. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
38. Petend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes
39. Set out a picnic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to rejoindre toi in afternoon thé
40. Say toi have just won the lottery and toi are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you.
41. Act surprised when it starts to déplacer and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"
42. On entering, ask the passengers if they want to be your friend. Burst into tears if they say no.
43. Take your shoes off before entering; Look shocked and disgusted when the others don’t
44. Teach the people French. Don’t let them leave till they get it right
45. Try break dancing
46. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
47. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' style “Is that your final answer?”
48. Point a feu extinguisher at the door as it opens and a passenger tries to enter, "ready, aim," and bend the nozzle round and cover yourself with foam.
49. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
50. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an heure down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed of 55* Come on, don't toi know what the speed is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash into...
