It was a beautiful jour in Equestria. arc en ciel Dash, Applejack, and Rarity were sitting at a restaurant having lunch.
Applejack: Well, thanks toi two for helping out at my farm.
arc en ciel Dash: No problem.
Rarity: There was no problem for me either, except for...
arc en ciel Dash: That's nothing to worry about. Besides, if toi get it on you, toi can just wash it off.
Applejack: I'm surprised toi didn't wear that farming outfit toi made when Trenderhoof was visiting.
Rarity: Oh yeah, about that...
Yesterday at Carousel Botique
Sweetie Belle: *Wearing Rarity's farming outfit* Howdy y'all. I'm Rarity, and I'm gonna pretend to be a farmer just to impress this stallion!
Applebloom & Scootaloo: *Laughing*
Sweetie Belle: toi know, it's actually not easy to see in this thing. I got a better idea. Let's modify it so that it will fit us!
Back at the lunch.
Rarity: And while they were making it shorter, Sweetie Belle somehow ended up setting it on fire.
Applejack: How is that possible?
arc en ciel Dash: Fireplace?
Gilda: *Arrives* salut arc en ciel Crash. Still hanging out with these lame ponies?
arc en ciel Dash: They're not lame! They're my friends.
Rarity: And her name is arc en ciel Dash.
Gilda: Whatever. I a volé, étole $1,000,000 from this rich stallion in Vanhoover, and got this awesome gem. The owner a dit it had some power, but I don't know what it does. Shall I try it out on you?
arc en ciel Dash: No.
Gilda: Fine. I'll try it out on the three of toi then. *Uses magic gem*
The gem teleported them into a grassy field. Nothing could be seen except for a faraway mountain, and some trees.
Gilda: Wait a minute.
Applejack: What the hay? *Looking around* Where are we?
Gilda: I don't know. This thing just ended up-
All of a sudden, a message started appearing into the ground.
The user of this gem has challenged toi to a war. If toi defeat the user, toi may go home.
Gilda: Oh, so that's what it does.
Rarity: toi never knew that until now?
Gilda: Well, the owner barely told me anything about the gem!
Two days ago.
Store owner: Remember, this gem can teleport you, and your enemies to any part of the past. The winner gets to go back into the present, but they have to kill their enemies first.
Now Gilda remembered.
Gilda: Oh. Looks like I remember now. We have to fight each other.
arc en ciel Dash: Fine with me.
British Soldiers: *Arrive* Halt. What are toi four doing here?
British Soldier: toi four are underarrest.
Theme song: link
So the four of them got arrested, and were on a ship in sea.
Gilda: Where are we going?
British Soldier: To the United States of Equestria.
Applejack: What an is this?
British Soldier: 1745.
Rarity: toi know what this means?
arc en ciel Dash: We're in medieval times.
STH Productions Presents
Just Be Me
Episode 1: The Three Maresketeers
Based off of the video par AgrolChannel on youtube.
arc en ciel Dash
cidre fort, applejack
Also starring the Griffons
And stop the music.
Applejack, Gilda, arc en ciel Dash, and Rarity were brought into the docks of Ponyville on the ship they were put on.
British Soldier: Now don't come back to our country ever again toi Equestrian scum.
Rarity: But I'm British too!
British Soldier: *Ignores Rarity* Let's go captain. We got everything we need.
British Captain: *Driving ship out of docks*
Jerry: *Sees Gilda* Griffon!!
Gilda: *Flies away*
Celestia's Soldiers: *Running towards Jerry*
Jerry: She's getting away.
arc en ciel Dash: What's going on?
Jerry: toi didn't hear? The griffons have waged war against us ponies. Their kingdom is near ours, and we cannot allow them to take any peice of our territory.
Applejack: What happens if they do?
Jerry: We kill them.
Rarity: Nngh. Isn't there a peaceful way to settle this?
Applejack: *Slaps Rarity* No! We have to kill them.
Jerry: *Looking at Applejack* I like your style, but toi ladies are not allowed to fight.
arc en ciel Dash, Applejack: What?!!?
Rarity: Well, I wouldn't want to fight anyway.
Applejack: Are toi saying that we're not allowed to fight due to our gender?!
arc en ciel Dash: I've dealt with many stereotypical situations, but this is crazy!
Jerry: I don't make the rules ma'am, toi have to talk to Princess Celestia about this.
Applejack: Princess Celestia?
Rarity: She banished Princess Luna 800 years ago.
arc en ciel Dash: Oh, right. Take us to her please.
Jerry: If toi insist.
So Jerry, and a few other soldiers took them to Celestia's château in Canterlot.
Celestia: How dare those griffons attempt to attack us. They will realize their clumsy decision will give them nothing, but pain.
Soldier 24: Right-o your highness.
Jerry: *Arrives* Princess, visitors.
Celestia: What do they want to talk about?
arc en ciel Dash: Hi Celestia.
Celestia: Who are you?
arc en ciel Dash: toi mean toi don't remember?
Applejack: Take it easy Dash. I'm Applejack, this is arc en ciel Dash, and the white unicorn is Rarity.
Celestia: What do toi want to talk about?
arc en ciel Dash: Why can't mares fight? You're a princess, toi should be giving us equal rights.
Celestia: It is not my decision on who gets to fight, ou not. toi must talk to Lord Burlington.
Applejack: Jerry a dit we had to talk to you.
Jerry: Uh.. I forgot?
Celestia: Take them to Lord Burlington.
Jerry: Yes your highness.
Rarity: Lord Burlington?
arc en ciel Dash: I wonder what he's like.
They were soon about to find out.
Lord Burlington: *Sitting in big red chair* What do those griffons have planned?
Pete: We don't know. They could do anything.
Lord Burlington: Then we must warn everypony immediately. If those griffons try to-
Jerry: *Enters room* Sir, three ponies want to talk to you.
Lord Burlington: What do toi want?
arc en ciel Dash: The three of us want to fight in this war.
Lord Burlington: toi three? *Laughing* This is an outrage. No mare is capable of fighting.
Rarity: He's right, so why don't we go home?
Lord Burlington: Yes. Go home, and get back to working where toi belong.
Applejack: Oh yeah? *Grabs axe, and throws it at Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: *Ducks, and doesn't get hit from axe. He then sees that it has stuck to his chair* Okay, you're in.
In the Griffon Kingdom, Gilda was meeting other griffons in her army.
Gilda: *Walks into castle* Hello?
Tomtom: Another griffon has arrived sir.
McKing: Ah, hello madam. What can I do for you?
Gilda: I need to rejoindre your army in order to defeat the ponies.
McKing: Well, I don't think that's possible. toi see-
Gilda: *Choking McKing* Let me join, ou else.
McKing: *Coughing* Okay.
Gilda: That's plus like it.
McKing: Meet some of my trusted soldiers. Over there is Tomtom.
McKing: Over here is Max.
Max: Good jour to toi ma'am.
Gilda: Aren't toi a little too fat to be in an army?
Porter: No, that's just so that it'll be difficult for any arrows to kill me. My stomach is so big, that it just reflects every Arrow shot towards me.
Gilda: I don't believe you.
Porter: Fine. *Stands up against wall*
Tomtom: *Gives Gilda a bow & arrow*
Porter: Now shoot my stomach.
Gilda: If toi say so. *Shoots arrow*
The Arrow bounced right off of Porter's stomach.
Porter: Need I say more?
Gilda: No. You've convinced me.
McKing: Now if you're done shooting arrows at Porter's stomach, there are two others I want toi to meet. Lucifer, who is an expert on cannons.
Lucifer: Right-o. If toi need to know anything about a cannon, ask me.
McKing: And last, but not least is Mike.
Gilda: Nice to meet you.
Mike: *Holding a toy tommy gun* I'm going to kill you.
McKing: Mike, how many times do I have to tell you, that thing will never work. Nopony would ever want this so called weapon.
Mike: Maybe not now, but they will within two hundred years from now.
McKing: Anything toi say Mike.
After arc en ciel Dash, Applejack, and Rarity joined Lord Burlington's army, they went to meet other soldiers.
Lord Burlington: What are toi going to do when we start attacking.
arc en ciel Dash: Just being me.
Applejack: Yup. Same here.
Rarity: Me too.
Lord Burlington: What's that supposed to mean?
arc en ciel Dash: You'll see when we start fighting.
Lord Burlington: Something tells me I don't want to see.
Applejack: We promise, having us in your army will be the greatest decision toi ever made.
Lord Burlington: Why do I find that hard to believe. Well, here's a few of our soldiers toi haven't met. Archer here is very skilled with a bow & arrow.
Archer: Nice to meet toi three. I hope toi don't plan on joining us anytime soon.
Lord Burlington: Easy Lieutenant. toi won't be happy with what the orange one plans on doing to toi if toi keep criticizing them about being here to help us stop those griffons.
Archer: Sorry sir. Anyway, my name is Archer. If toi want to know anything about using a bow & arrow, come to me.
arc en ciel Dash: Sure. *Sees golden arrows* That looks awesome.
Archer: toi like that? I'll make some for toi if you'd like.
arc en ciel Dash: Yeah.
Applejack: *Sees Archer's eyes* How did your eyes become like that?
Archer: Long story, but to make it short, I killed a changeling when it bit my leg.
Lord Burlington: Okay ladies, follow me this way.
arc en ciel Dash, Applejack, and Rarity: *Following Lord Burlington*
Lord Burlington: We have another expert named Silver. He's an expert on armor.
Lord Burlington: What's so funny?
Rarity: I have a friend who has a brother named Shining Armor.
Lord Burlington: That sounds like a stupid name. Hopefully, he doesn't get married to a princess.
Silver: *Walks over* The expert on armor that the lord was talking about is me.
Rarity: *Falling in l’amour with Silver*
Applejack: Uh oh.
arc en ciel Dash: toi remember what happened last time Rarity fell in l’amour with a stallion?
Applejack: Ngh. Don't remind me. She did the same thing to Big Macintosh.
arc en ciel Dash: Ew.
Rarity: I heard toi two!
Lord Burlington: Ladies, follow me.
The four of them went to see the expert on cannons, Kan Can.
Lord Burlington: Kan Can, stop working on that blasted weapon, and come to me.
Kan Can: *Under a cannon* Sorry sir, unfortunately, I got something in my eyes while working on this thing, and I can't see.
Lord Burlington: Just follow my voice.
Kan Can: Okay. *Bangs head on cannon*
Lord Burlington: You'll have to excuse him. He's a little... Clumsy.
arc en ciel Dash: And toi thought we wouldn't be good soldiers.
Applejack: *Notices that Kan Can has no tail* I don't trust him.
Rarity: Whyever not?
Applejack: He has no tail. Never trus-
arc en ciel Dash: *Covers Applejack's mouth* Okay, remember what happened last time toi a dit that?
Applejack: I Lost my tail, and everypony made fun of me. Nopony ever lets me forget that.
Lord Burlington: And that's it. Welcome, and I hope toi three enjoy working in my army.
But Rarity was still annoyed about arc en ciel Dash, and cidre fort, applejack with talking about her behind her back. She had plans to find out why they did so.
That night, while everypony was asleep, Rarity was thinking about how to find out why arc en ciel Dash, and cidre fort, applejack were talking about her behind her back.
Rarity: Hmm, I can't think of anything. They just talked about me falling in l’amour with Sliver, and probably... doing Rule 34 related stuff to him, but I don't care, that's just me. Wait a minute, I got it! They think I'm a Rule 34 addict, and that's why they were talking behind my back. *Goes out of her room to find arc en ciel Dash, and Applejack*
suivant morning, Princess Celestia was having breakfast, when Lord Burlington arrived.
Lord Burlington: Princess, those three mares are not here.
Celestia: What do toi mean?
Lord Burlington: They left! I knew they weren't good enough to be in this army.
Celestia: Perhaps they left to get plus supplies.
But they didn't. While arc en ciel Dash, and cidre fort, applejack were sleeping, Rarity kidnapped them, and put them in a nearby tower.
arc en ciel Dash: *Wakes up* I'm feeling happy today, and- *Notices she's in a bag with Applejack* AJ? Wake up!
Applejack: *Wakes up* Is it time to collect apples? I'm on it Big Mac.
arc en ciel Dash: No! It's me arc en ciel Dash. We're stuck together in a bag, and I don't know why.
Applejack: *Realizes she is in a terrible situation* Why are we in a bag?
Rarity: Because I put toi in there.
arc en ciel Dash: Why?
Rarity: Because toi a dit bad things about me behind my back. What were they?
Applejack: It was nothing.
arc en ciel Dash: We were just talking about how toi were going to mas-
Applejack: *Slaps arc en ciel Dash* Not here. We'll get punished for saying things like that.
arc en ciel Dash: Then let's get out of here.
Applejack: But we have to kill Gilda first.
arc en ciel Dash: Why don't we kill Rarity first?
Applejack: Well. Now that toi think about it...
Rarity: oh no.
Applejack: She did tie us up into this bag for no reason, so let's kill her.
Rarity: No! *Teleports from tower to ground*
The other two ponies got out of the bag, and looked for Rarity.
arc en ciel Dash: She's gone.
Applejack: It's all your fault!
arc en ciel Dash: My fault? I was literally the only one trying to get us out!
Applejack: I helped!
arc en ciel Dash: Barely! *Flies out of tower, and goes to another tower*
Rarity: arc en ciel Dash, what are toi doing?
Applejack: *Shoots Arrow at arc en ciel Dash*
The Arrow hit the wall, and was stuck between two bricks.
arc en ciel Dash: Nice try Applejackass! *Shoots canon, cannon at Applejack*
Applejack: *Ducks* toi missed!
Rarity: I must stop them. *Sees another tower, then runs into it* I must stop them before they kill each other.
arc en ciel Dash, and cidre fort, applejack were now shooting flaming arrows at each other.
arc en ciel Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at the same time*
arc en ciel Dash: Stop making your Arrow hit my arrow!
Applejack: I will when toi stop!
arc en ciel Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at the same time*
Rarity: *Gets to the haut, retour au début of her tower, and sees fight* They're not even hitting each other. *Grabs cannon*
arc en ciel Dash: Hey, Rarity's pointing a canon, cannon at us!
Applejack: Us? She's pointing it at me! *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the Arrow into a shiny fork* A few more, and then I can have a lovely dinner.
arc en ciel Dash: *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity*
Rarity: *Uses magic to get rid of flames on arrow, and turns the Arrow into a shiny spoon* One plus Arrow please. I insist!
arc en ciel Dash & Applejack: *Shoots flaming Arrow at Rarity at the same time*
Rarity: *Stops both arrows, and turns both of them into a shiny plate* Are toi finished?
And so, they stopped fighting, and walked back to Celestia's castle.
After arc en ciel Dash, Applejack, and Rarity fought each other, they went back to Celestia's castle.
Celestia: What happened?
Lord Burlington: Where did toi three go?
arc en ciel Dash: Rarity kidnapped us for no reason.
Rarity: My reason, was because toi were talking about me behind my back.
Applejack: That's a dumb reason.
Lord Burlington: I agree with the orange one.
Rarity: Why? Doesn't anyone agree with me?
Applejack: toi planned on doing something horrible to Silver.
Lord Burlington: What did she have planned?
arc en ciel Dash: Oh toi had something planned alright. What was it?
Rarity: Nnnnhhhh. Something related to innapropriate material that isn't allowed to be mentioned, but is being mentioned anyway, because I'm a Sex Addict!
Celestia, and Lord Burlington's mouth dropped open, and fell on the floor.
Rarity: Oh shit.
Celestia: She's a sex addict?
arc en ciel Dash: We prefer the term rule 34. Now, let us talk to Rarity alone.
Celestia, & Lord Burlington: *Leaving the room*
Applejack: Okay, they're gone.
arc en ciel Dash: What the fuck were toi thinking?
Rarity: I was nervous!
Applejack: Don't toi realize that they could execute toi for being addicted to sex?
Rarity: No. *Thinking* Oh, right. We're in mideival times.
arc en ciel Dash: And we're stuck in mideival times, until we kill Gilda. Now, we can't do that if toi get us executed for being a rule 34 addict.
Rarity: I'm the one being executed, not you.
Applejack: Let's just get this over with.
Celestia: *Returns* I heard the entire conversation.
arc en ciel Dash: toi did?
Applejack: But toi were-
Celestia: In another room with Lord Burlington, yes I know. So you're from the future, and can't get back there until toi kill this griffon named Gilda. Is that correct?
arc en ciel Dash: Yeah.
Celestia: Then I will explain everything to Lord Burlington, and the both of us will help.
Rarity: Thank you.
Celestia: No problem.
Things seemed to be getting easier for Applejack, arc en ciel Dash, and Rarity. But the fight was about to start soon.
Everypony at Celestia's château was ready for the fight, as the Griffons were getting close to attacking them.
Lord Burlington: Get the cannons ready!
Celestia: Get the cannons ready.
Kan Can: Get the cannons ready. *Getting canon, cannon ready, but accidentally falls off of the castle*
Lord Burlington: Anymore clumsy ponies like him, and we'll never win.
arc en ciel Dash: At least toi got us.
Lord Burlington: Yeah. What was it toi three a dit toi were going to do to win this war?
arc en ciel Dash: Just.
Gilda: Load up the catapults!
Griffons: *Loading up catapults*
Archer: They're chargement the catapults sir.
Lord Burlington: feu the cannons!
Ponies: *Shooting cannons*
Griffons: They're firing cannons at us!
Gilda: Shoot those rocks at them.
Griffons: *Shooting rocks with catapults*
Some of the rocks were hitting some of the bombs shot par cannons, and a few mid air explosions occurred.
Archer: With your permission, my archery team will take them down.
Lord Burlington: Archers, ready.
Archer, and other ponies carrying bow & arrows: *Readying bows*
Lord Burlington: Aim.
Archery Ponies: *Pulling back arrows*
Lord Burlington: Fire!
Archery Ponies: *Firing arrows at griffons*
arc en ciel Dash: What about us?
Lord Burlington: toi three must put on armor, get a sword, and shield.
Rarity: Are we... *Gulp* Fighting them out there?
Lord Burlington: Yes toi are Miss. I l’amour mas*****ting to stallions I barely know. Get out there.
Applejack: Let's do this.
So the three ponies went to get what they needed.
Griffon 4: *Gets killed par arrow*
Gilda: Use your shield toi careless saps!
Griffons: She's right. Use the shields.
Tomtom: You're a good leader.
Gilda: Yeah, I know.
McKing: Ma'am, we're getting plus casualties.
Gilda: How is this possible? We should be winning.
Tomtom: Maybe, because we're outnumbered.
McKing: Hey, you're right. Where's Mike?
Lucifer: I don't see him.
Mike was at their castle, modifying his toy tommy gun.
Mike: Yes. This is good. Now I'll montrer the others that I mean business with this. Look out everypony. *Grabs toy tommygun* I'm going to kill you.
Back at the battle.
arc en ciel Dash: This is gonna be so awesome.
Rarity: Awesome? We're going to die.
Applejack: No we're not. We're going to win.
arc en ciel Dash: Charge! *Charges towards Griffons*
cidre fort, applejack & Rarity: *Following arc en ciel Dash*
Gilda: There they are.
McKing: Shoot them.
Griffons: *Shooting arrows at arc en ciel Dash, Applejack, and Rarity* It's not working. Our arrows keep hitting their armor.
Porter: They're not even slowing down.
arc en ciel Dash: *Raises sword* Yeah!!
Gilda: Oh god.
arc en ciel Dash: *Stabs Porter's stomach*
Porter: *Feels sword hit stomach*
arc en ciel Dash: Wait a minute.. *Gets sent flying backwards due to the impact on Porter's stomach*
Porter: I told toi it was a good thing to be fat.
Applejack: *Cuts Porter's head off with sword*
Gilda: Yeah. *Grabs sword* toi ready to "Square dance" redneck?
Applejack: *Swings sword at Gilda*
Rarity: *Kills two griffons* I can't believe I'm doing this. It's so unladylike.
Gilda: *Continues swordfight with Applejack*
Applejack: *Kicks griffon, then jumps up in air*
Gilda: *Swings sword*
Applejack: *Blocks attack*
McKing: Tomtom, help Gilda defeat that orange pony.
Tomtom: Yes sir.
arc en ciel Dash: *Returns, and kills Tomtom* Did toi miss me?
Applejack: Practically. *Gets kicked par Gilda*
arc en ciel Dash: Hey! Nopony does that to my friend!
Gilda: What are toi going to do about it?
arc en ciel Dash: Just be me.
arc en ciel Dash: *Hits Gilda with sword*
Lord Burlington: *Watching fight* This is great. Does anypony have popcorn?
Celestia: What is that?
Lord Burlington: It's... Never mind.
The fight continued, and Gilda was getting beat par arc en ciel Dash.
McKing: Can anypony help Gilda?
Gilda: Why can't toi help me?
McKing: Because I have to give orders to the griffons killing those ponies.
Gilda: Well hurry up so that toi can help me!
arc en ciel Dash: *Hits Gilda's wing*
Applejack: *Killing griffons*
Rarity: *Hiding under bridge* I shouldn't be fighting....
arc en ciel Dash: *Continues fighting Gilda*
Gilda: *Blocking attacks*
McKing: Max, how many soldiers do we have left?
Max: Only twelve.
McKing: Then annuler the attack on the castle. We must help Gilda.
Applejack: *Kills McKing*
Lucifer: Our boss is dead!
Max: But he wasn't our boss. It's Gilda.
The sword fight was getting intense.
arc en ciel Dash: *Blocking Gilda's attacks*
Applejack: Need any help RD?
arc en ciel Dash: No, just keep those other griffons off my back.
Applejack: toi got it. *Kills griffons*
Rarity: *Continues hiding under a bridge*
Applejack: Rarity, where are you?!
Rarity: *Stay silent*
Applejack: I think they killed her. She'll have to stay here for the rest of her life.
Rarity: *Comes out from under bridge* I'm here, don't leave without me!
Applejack: We weren't.
Gilda: *Punches arc en ciel Dash*
arc en ciel Dash: *Has her casque fall off* That can't be good.
Gilda: *Punches arc en ciel Dash again*
arc en ciel Dash: Oh! *Her nose starts to bleed*
Rarity: Leave Dashie alone!!
Applejack: Don't worry about her. She's gonna die if we don't kill the other griffons.
Rarity: Then in that case, Hya! *Using karate moves to attack griffons*
Applejack: Couldn't have a dit it better myself.
arc en ciel Dash: *Pushing her sword against Gilda's*
Gilda: When are toi going to give up?
arc en ciel Dash: I don't know what that means so I'll never do it. *Draws back sword quickly, then hits Gilda's back legs*
Gilda: Ah! *Falls on ground*
Applejack: *Kills the last griffon* Now, we need to kill Gilda.
arc en ciel Dash: With pleasure. *About to kill Gilda*
Gilda: *Closes her eyes*
Then, the sound of twenty bullets being shot from a tommygun could be heard.
arc en ciel Dash: *Looks at Mike*
Mike: *Carrying toy tommygun, and looks at Gilda* I told ya I was going to kill you.
arc en ciel Dash: But this is 1745. pistolets aren't supposed to exist yet.
Mike: But I killed Gilda.
Applejack: But, you're on the same side as her.
Mike: So? She didn't think this invention of mine would work.
Rarity; What are toi going to call it?
Mike: Hmm, I don't know. I think I'll call it Thomas.
arc en ciel Dash: How about the Tommygun?
Mike: Hey, that's a brilliant idea.
Then all of a sudden, Rarity, arc en ciel Dash, and cidre fort, applejack started to be lifted slowly up into the air, and then they dissapeared.
Carousel Botique, August 8, 2014.
Rarity: *Appears with arc en ciel Dash, and Applejack*
Sweetie Belle: Rarity, where have toi three been?
Rarity: Playing with my friends.
Sweetie Belle: Oh. Applebloom, and Scootaloo went accueil already, so would toi like to play with me?
Rarity: Of course darling.
arc en ciel Dash: Well, I guess there's no sense in us staying here anymore.
Applejack: Nope. *Leaves Carousel Botique with arc en ciel Dash*
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