Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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It's called "Daughter of Darkness" par V.C. Andrews.

This book was just aweful. It's about a 17 an old vampire girl named Lorelie Patio (Mary Sue alert!) whos only purpose in life is to be her Daddy's sex slave. This book is filled with shallow evaluations of beauty, anti feminism, poor morals, and disgusting turn of events.

Lorelie has three sisters who are manipulated and emotionally abused par their father. The worst thing about it is that it's never seen as a bad thing. It's disguised as fatherly love. None of the characters recognize the manipulation ou abuse. toi have to read between the lines to pick up on it. It's almost identical to Twilight here, but at least Bella snapped back at Edward a couple times. Lorelie's father kills her boyfriend and she says "Oh, he's just protecting me because he loves me." She doesn't even get upset.

Literally every other page we're told how beautiful Lorelei is, and half the time it's Lorelie looking in a mirror thinking about how beautiful she is, then she starts complaining that her beauty is a curse because it makes too many boys notice her. Her beauty is so horrible that her teachers even lust after her. She freaks out every time a guy looks at her. Her beauty is described in the mose shallow way imaginable. She's beautiful because she's tall, has large, swelling, perky breasts and soft curly hair. Way to knock down the self esteem of 90% of girls.

At least in Twilight, all the beautiful characters looked different. toi have short skinny Alice, tall and curvy Rosalie, huge and buff Emmett, short Jane, awkward and lanky Jasper, matronly and a little pudgy Esme. In Twilight there different types of beauty, in DoD, there's only one. Tall, big books, and curly hair. All the sisters are beautiful, and everyone else is a hag.

Lorelei is the biggest Mary-Sue imaginable. All the girls in school are jealous of her, her sisters are jealous of her, all the boys want her, she doesn't even treat people well and she has a boatload of admirers, which s a lot like a certain Bella we know.

I can't tell what kind of messages it's trying to convey. Stay at accueil and have no friends. Don't care about school ou education. None of that matters if you're incredibly beautiful.

The anti-feminist messages are loud and clear though. Obey your father and only your father. All the girls jump through hoops to impress their father. Even his older sister waits on him hand and foot. He pays her to be his maid!!
Do everything imaginable to please boys. Use your looks and sex appeal to make them happy.
Take 13 an old girls to the plage to teach her how to flirt with college boys. That's her destiny, after all. In twilight, nobody encouraged bella to throw herself at Edward. She did it on her own, but at least she wasn't TRAINED to do it.

Don't get me started on the "vampire legends" in this book. They don't react to the sun at all. Even sparkling is better than nothing. They go out on family vacations to the beach, for crying out loud!! THE BEACH!! In front of everyone!!
They eat regular food. Only the male vampires drink blood, but only once a month, and it's related to their menstrual cycle, whatever the heck that's supposed to mean.

There's no plot, whatsoever. Not even a weak and boring plot like in Twilight. There are no antagonists. No protagonists, no obstacles to overcome. Nobody to fear. No heroes. No climax. No conflict. The only conflict is Lorelei thinking she's too pretty.

The écriture is AWFUL!!! twilight doesn't have great écriture either, but at least toi won't see sentences like "I saw the door open and Ava walked through the door." ou "I couldn't sleep to I cleared my mind and tried to sleep."

this book really made me cringe plus and plus with every page turn, it actually made me want to read Twilight just to bring my IQ back up a few points.
The saddest part is that there's a sequel coming out in 2013.
I fear for humanity.
added by cassie-1-2-3
Source: twilightfacts.tumblr.com
added by cassie-1-2-3
Source: breaknigdawnmovie.org
posted by XDRoseLuvsHP
There are three (3) big categories of abuse. These are the ones that happen on a daily basis, and they are not at all uncommon :( In Twilight, all three of these abusive categories are represented par a character. They are grouped as follows:

Psychological Abuse: Edward Cullen
Sexual Abuse: Jacob Black
Physical Abuse: Sam Uley

Now, toi Twilighters are probably thinking, "Whaa-? That's ridiculous!" No, actually, it is not, if toi will give me a chance to explain.





Edward Cullen does indeed abuse Bella psychologically. He constantly refers to her stupidity and her clumsiness. Some may call this "keeping...
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added by sapherequeen
Source: jedigal1990
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actually she just specified on Nuttymadam's "genius" claim
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Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett riffing the film New Moon.
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vampires from all over meet for their annual reunion. Appearances par Edward Cullen, Angel, Dracula, Count von Count, Bill Compton, and more. Featuring a special visit from Buffy.
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Hahahahahaha... Team Flea @1:40 LOL. xD
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Watch that part at 1:50-3:10. Taylor did mentioned it before in another interview a few months back. The 40+ an old woman asked him to sign her Team Taylor panties during some autograph session... O_O I thought it was creepy...
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I recently got into the montrer Supernatural (everyone should), and I happened upon this hilarious video. It shows how Dean Winchester (My new favori character of all time) is better than Twilight.
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Someone doesn't like what Edward Cullen and his Twilight pals are doing to Vampire Mythology. Another funny parody. :)
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A video on how I was convinced of Twilight's problematic nature.
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Another EvilIguanaProduction Twilight related parody, this time on one of the New Moon trailers.
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