Lmao! it's just hilarious:


Dorata: Miss Blair, toi no longer held hostage par evil Prince Louis.
Blair: Oh yay! Now I can really get my hands on that wild forest atop my boyfriend's head!
Chuck: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
Nate: No one is ready for that jelly. Why can't I have a onesie?
Chuck: Cause you're not Chuck Bass.
Nate: Wah, problems with Lola.
Chuck: I have a kangourou tattoo.
Nate: ...........
Serena: What are toi gonna do now that you're free of the French Terminator?
Blair: Screw your ex, DUH!
Serena: Oh right, I'm happy for you. Too bad toi can't be a princess anymore.
Blair: Wait! HOLD UP, BITCH! I didn't think this through!
Serena: I don't wanna be loved par anyone so I'm gonna force Lola to take my place as New York's most famous person that's famous for being slutty and blonde.
Blair: Yea, sure.
Lola: Hi friend from Florida who's only plot point is to be cougar bait for Diana Payne.
Aiden: Oh, hi.
Nate: Funny running into toi here.
Lola: Diana Payne.
Nate: I gotta go.
Lola: I think Nate's in l’amour with Diana Payne.
Dan: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blair: That's nice. I'm busy. Go away.
Dan: Blah?
Dorota: I write songs with Vanya!
Dan: Give me Blair's divorce papers even though they're none of my business.
Dorota: Ugh, fine. I don't feel like doing my job today anyway.
Dan: Blair didn't sign her divorce papers?? I must ask Chuck's best friend/my best friend Nate what to do about Chuck's girlfriend/my girlfriend Blair!
Rufus: Give Ivy all your mom's money so we can déplacer back to UES and toi can STFU.
Lily: No.
Rufus: I'll wear plus plaid.
Lily: Ugh, fine.
Andrew Tyler P.I: I found your mom again. Not the one toi had in first season who was addicted to Paxil. ou the one that died when she gave birth to you. But the one who told toi she wasn't your mom when she is. ou maybe she's not. I found that one.
Chuck: Cool. What should I do?
Andrew Tyler P.I: Talk to Blair, of course.
Chuck: She hates me because of reasons.
Andrew Tyler P.I: But toi paid her dowry.
Chuck: Shut your hole!
Andrew Tyler P.I: My b....but no seriously, talk to Blair.
Chuck: Ugh, fine.
Serena: Look, I get lingerie named after me for no apparent reason.
Lola: Cool.
Serena: Put it on! I've always wanted to see my cousin in her underwear!
Lola: No.
Serena: DO IT!
Lola: AYE!
Serena: Sorry you're in your sous-vêtements d'homme, skivvies but I pulled the feu alarm.
Lola: Oh gee.
Diana: The Spectator is mine.
Nate: No it's mine.
Diana: It's mine!
Nate: NU UH MINE!!!
Diana: NO! OH BTW, what this place needs another party.
Nate: Well, obvi.
Dan: Why isn't Blair divorced yet?
Nate: I'm gonna tell toi this cause I suck at being Chuck's friend. Chuck paid Blair's dowry.
Dan: THAT rat BASTARD!
Nate: No, he's just a good guy.
Dan: HE'S A RAPIST! AN ARSONIST! A DAMN SCALLYWAG!
Nate: Okay....hey I'm throwing a party.
Dan: Well, obviously it's Monday.
Dorota: What is wrong with toi Miss Blair?
Blair: Not telling.
Dorota: Witty Banter.
Blair: Retaliate the witty banter.
Dorota: Witty Banter once again!
Blair: I'm stupid that's why. I wanna keep playing pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Oh Jésus what am I doing here?
Blair: OH GOD WHY SO PERFECT?!
Chuck: My mommy saved my life. Should I talk to her?
Blair: Why are toi here?
Chuck: Because you're clearly a sane person. What should I do?
Blair: toi want back into my La Perla's!
Chuck: Uhhh....
Blair: toi evil spawn of Satan! Clearly you're using a sensitive subject for toi to get laid!
Chuck: You're fucking insane.
Blair: Am I wrong?
Chuck: ..................what is my life?
Blair: Time for me to walk away from toi for the 400th time.
Serena: What's up brother from another mother?
Chuck: Don't say mom right now, I'm sensitive.
Serena: Why are toi here?
Chuck: Because I hate myself.
Serena: Clearly.
Chuck: Should I talk to my mommy?
Serena: I say GO FOR IT!
Chuck: Gee, thanks sis!
Dan: CHUCK LEFT BLAIRS?!!! MUST JUDGE!!!!
Blair: Yea he did, who cares. I crushed his soul again.
Dan: He paid your dowry.
Blair: Floppy haired muppet say what?
Dan: Oops.
Blair: Must find Chuck! I'm not done murdering his soul!
Dan: Well, fuck.
Lawyer: Ivy left the penthouse. Your wife screwed her over.
Rufus: SHOCK AND AWE!
Serena: toi should model underwear for everyone to see in the middle of a party! Come on it's totally normal. I do it in the living room for my dad all the time!
Lola: No, I'm good.
Serena: Nate's going with Diana.
Lola: I'm there.
Rufus: Lily toi lied to me! That never happens!
Lily: Rufus, shut up and make waffles.
Rufus: It's gaufres for one now! Be gone evil wench.
Lily: Are toi for serious?
Lola: Oh hi, Nate and Diana. Remember my friend who is now important to the storyline?
Nate: Welcome dude.
Diana: I'll snack on him later. Ta!
Nate: toi still wanna piece of dis.
Diana: Pashaw!
Nate: Don't toi wish your boyfriend was hot like me? DONT CHA!
Diana: I'm totally sane and normal. Watch me Kiss this total stranger that Lola brought.
Blair: Oh good, I found you!
Chuck: I'm lost.
Blair: Did toi pay my dowry?
Chuck: No comment.
Blair: ROAR YOU'RE BUYING ME!! I'M GONNA INEXPLICABLY BRING UP THE HOTEL INCIDENT THAT I FORGAVE toi FOR A LONG TIME AGO!
Chuck: ..........seriously, what is my life?
Blair: toi want me so bad toi paid millions of dollars for this ass!
Chuck: Nope. I just hate myself and want toi to be free to be with Dan.
Blair: toi RAPIST ASSHOLE!
Chuck: Alright, I'm done.
Dan: Sorry for breathing down your neck.
Blair: Chuck's done one bad thing to me. Chuck's never done anything good.
Dan: That's what I'm saying.
Diana: Let me eat you, guest star!
Nate: Lolz, filmed it.
Lola: We sure showed her, honey!
Serena: Wait, toi lied to me when I was lying to toi to come to a party where I was trying to force toi into being an It girl when toi don't want to be just to scheme with your boyfriend and set up his ex?
Lola: Basically.
Serena: SLUT!
Lola: It girl thing, not for me.
Serena: I MUST STAY IT GIRL FOREVER!!!
Chick: Uh, take off that lingerie, you're not an It girl anymore.
Serena: Well, shit.
Diana: Here, toi keep the Spectator.
Nate: Gee, thanks.
Diana: P.S. I l’amour you.
Andrew Tyler P.I: Elizabeth Fisher is a nun. Not your mom.
Chuck: taureau, bull shit.
Andrew Tyler P.I: No seriously. Nun. Not mom.
Chuck: If I laced this scotch with rat poisoning do toi think I'll die.
Andrew Tyler P.I: How many moms are toi on now dude?
Chuck: I Lost count.
Blair: Why am I in this terrible dress?
Dan: Because of reasons.
Blair: I hate my life.
Dan: Makes sense.
Blair: Your hair is staring at me.
Dan: This crown is fake.
Blair: KILL ME NOW!
Dan: Shut up and do what I say.
Blair: Oh okay, I l’amour you.
Dan: Pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Why didn't I die on the streets of Prague?


all credit goes to beelieve at tumblr