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posted by GemonkDruid
So I've gotten way too many commentaires and mur posts saying, "Get online now!", "Y U OFFLINE", ou some variant of the two. Well guess what? I HAVE SCHOOL BITCHES.

So here's a guide for various time zones for when I'm offline Mon-Fri (actually Sun-Thurs for the rest of toi slowpoke world):

Sydney (my time zone): 7 am-5 pm

Las Vegas (roughly close to some states where some of toi live, like DL): 2 pm-12 am

London (Accio, CC, Izzy, and other Brits): 10 pm-8 am

Helsinki (The lone Emmy): 12 am-10 am

Ottawa/New York (Best/other Canadians and Alex, Tonks and other NYers; I think Mary and Water are also under...
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these words keep running
through my head
everything I need to tell you
all the things I should have said
they're running through my head, and yet
I know you'll never read them,
you always say you'd much rather be dead

they all say that songs don't really
need to have a rhyme
but I need order in this chaos
or I'll lose my mind
I'm trying really hard to tell you
exactly how I feel
these words, they all try to confuse me
make my poor head reel
and as I cry my way to sleep
I think to myself
these words will never make it off the shelf

these words keep running
through my head
everything I need to tell you
all the...
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posted by KateKicksAss
I finally had a conversation with the Anonymous abuser. I feel so honored, *sarcasm*. Anyways, this is our EXACT conversation that I copied and pasted from meebo, except for one word that I censored slightly, because I don't condone vulgarity in my posts.

MrMsBiggerstaff: YO

KateKicksAss: Hi

MrMsBiggerstaff: I AM THE P**** OF YOUR DREAMS!

KateKicksAss: Uh huh. toi used that line on everyone else toi talked to. At least have some originality!

MrMsBiggerstaff: I AM ORIGIGIGNNALL!

KateKicksAss: No you're not. toi repeat the same thing to everyone toi talk to. That's just stupid and pathetic.

MrMsBiggerstaff:...
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My dad’s favori auteur once said, “Trouble on vacations is just dancing lessons from God.” I never quite understood that quote until now. Our plane ride was to go from my city, to Denver, and then finally to San Francisco, where we would drive to my aunt’s condo. We were SUPPOSED to get there par 12:00 am this morning, but nooooo. God had apparently decided to give us dancing lessons.
First, my parents misjudged the traffic. They weren’t expecting it to be as bad as it was during the trip there. toi see, the airport that we went to was very nice, but the neighborhood around it was...
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posted by AllyAM
While talking to my friend who is the self proclaimed most liberal Mormon in the world:
(after talking abou tue musical Th Book of Mormon)
Me: All that I know about Mormonism I learned from a book par Ellen Hopkins, South Park, and Stephanie Meyer.
Sam: well, at least two of those are good sources (talking about the Ellen Hopkins book and south park)


Later in math class:
Me: *loud sneeze*
teacher: bless you!
Me: *loud sneeze*
teacher: bless you!
Me: *loud sneeze*
teacher: bless you!
Me: *loud sneeze*
teacher: STOP!
me: *science*
posted by Lunalovely
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So I saw Kate's "Who Am I?" article and I remembered none of toi know how I look.

So if Kate doesn't mind, I'm gonna do the same thing she did and Have toi guess.

For those who already guessed on Kate's toi know the drill,each pic has a letter and toi write down the letter on the commentaires below.

So most of these pics I took from Google, except for four of them. One is me (duh) and the other three are my sister, my best friend, and my best friend's sister, also known as my sister's best friend.

Oh yeah, I'll give hommages to the winner.
Winner= 3 props
Everbody else who guessed= 1 prop

toi guys can base it on anyway toi want, ex. Which looks fake, which looks plus like what toi imagined me to look like, what looks like me based on my personality, whatever the hell toi feel like, just try and guess the right one.

Okay so have fun and enjoy, I guess.

P.S. Kate, if toi DO have a problem with this, please PM me later and I'll remove this.
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B
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C
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D
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E
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F
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G
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H
posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: sparknotes.com. They decided to take the challenge of écriture some of their own six-word stories after lire some better known ones. Enjoy!



Elevator out of order. Use trampoline.

Bird cried, "Feathers? I want fingers!"

Storming again. annuler the cerf-volant fights.

Hide! Here comes Beyonce. She's pissed.

This is all a dream, right?

"Kitty will be fine," he lied.

The éléphant ate everything, even Paul.

Wizard vs. Jedi Knight? Audience wins.

"Ha," a dit Jen as she died.

Party tonight. Bring your own cape.

Did that clown painting just wink?

Clock struck six. Mike struck clock.

Has anyone seen my porcupi—ow!...
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posted by emilyroxx
There was a website, ou phone calling service, ou something, that would answer questions about Australia for people that were vacationing there. Some of the questions weren't very intelligent, so the people who answered the questions decided to have fun with them.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow...
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link




"Today, I went to the films with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to rejoindre us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy ou a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the...
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posted by Lunalovely
Okay so I have a confession that i want to take off my chest. toi guys are the only ones I trust.No one and I mean no one in my school is my friend. i do have a friend one I've had since I was 3, but she lives in New York City, and I like like 30 minutes away in Westchester County. And we have different styles, making it hard for us to enjoy stuff together,and I feel like our friendship is slipping.

So toi guys are basically my only friends, and I don't even know how toi look. And now that people are leaving I feel like this friendship is falling apart as well.I just need to tell toi guys how much I care about toi and how much I need toi in my life.

Another thing is that around others people think that I l’amour to be alone, but I really don't.I mean it's better than hanging with these think-they're-ghetto, can't-be-trusted smuts, but I still need people in my life.Thanks for curing my loneliness, toi guys are amazing
[b]Credit: link

How do toi know people don't like your friend? Oh, I don't know, how about the fact that...

1. Your mom can never remember your friend's name. She even guesses. "Oh, is your friend... uh... Tasha coming over?" Your friend's name is not Tasha. It's Kate.

2. Your Dad always seems to disappear when Kate comes over. "Well, I should go paint the garage door now." "Now?" "Yep, no time to waste. Just have to pick up a Kate of paint... I mean, a can of paint from the store."

3. Your little brother rolls his eyes at her name. "Kate's coming over? Does she have to?"

4. Your mom defends Kate...
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posted by emilyroxx
So, I dreamed that I was on a bus, and my bus driver was none other than the hated teacher at my school. As in all of my other dreams, I didn’t find anything wrong with this, but I did feel like something was off. All of a sudden, the bus stops and she turns around and says, “Alright, I want everyone to tell me where the lord God told (what she probably a dit was Moses, but I just looked it up right now to find out what the story was. Because I didn’t know anything about the 10 Commandments, the word ‘Moses’ sounded garbled. Things in my dream that I don’t know anything about are...
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Look at the latest post in my room if toi do not understand.

"My good mood has been ruined. Apparently there have been burglaries in my SMALL town, and the people come from the alley and smash the windows. They have pistolets too, and it's been four days and they haven't been caught. Also, it's dark, and the wind is hissing, and the thunder is extremely loud.every small noise from the storm makes me think that it's those people.
I'll type up the letter the police put on our door when I get on a computer."

------------------------------------------------


Dear Neighbor,

Over the past few days there have...
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All of you, every Biggerstaff, is valuable in my heart. None of toi should leave but then again, thats my opinion. Kate and Accio, toi shouldnt feel out of place because toi fit the puzzle.

Our whole family is a puzzle. Every Biggerstaff has a spot where they fit and complete the puzzle. Without one peice we are not joined together and we are not one. What happens when toi take one peice of the puzzle off? Well, the puzzle isnt as strong, its plus vunerable, and eventually other puzzle peices fall off too. That basically means that if one person leaves for good, we could lose the whole family...
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Scene 1: Friends

(laughing)

Kenzie: It just wouldn’t be the same without toi Jaide!

Lauren: toi crack me up!

Sara: Isn’t it a bit rude?

Imogen: Oh lighten up Sara!

Sara: Sorry! But what if she hears!?

Jaide: It’s only Janet!

Kenzie: Well we can’t just sit here all day! Let’s go skating! Jaide, toi can montrer us your moves!

Scene 2: Skating

Lizzie: Hi Guys! What are toi doing here?

Lauren: We wanted some fun!

Lizzie: I can do a spin on the ice!

Jaide: Well goody for you!

Kenzie: Don’t be so rude! (giggles)

Lizzie: Also, check out my new phone! Smile for the camera!

Scene 3: The Miracles +1

Lizzie:...
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posted by Italktosnakes
I'm kinda thinking about leaving fanpop. I mean, I don't know- I just don't feel like any of toi really like me that much. And, excluding Izzy and maybe Best, I don't really speak to any of toi anymore. I kinda feel like an outsider, which is sad, cause I used to feel like one of the ones that toi all liked. I've been thinking this kind of thing since about...you know, the whole BOTM thing started. Cause I know I only got picked because I thought I wouldn't, so I basically got a pity vote. It just made me feel like at school again, when toi get the pity choice in PE class. It kinda sucks.
I...
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posted by WeRBiggerstaffs
Here's one last attempt at a joint account.

This joint account abuse is getting the best of us. I've been thinking that maybe this is a bad idea, but it's also the best thing that's ever happened to us. We need this. We need to be able to share a special bond of trust, but somebody is preventing it. This needs to end now. We're going to try one plus time, and if this goes bad, we'll have to give up on this prospect.

Here's a few things we should all know about the new joint account.

*This mot de passe is DIFFERENT from the other two.
*If toi want the password, toi have to PM this account.
*I'm only going to give the mot de passe out to ONE person a day, so I'll go on a first come, first serve basis. That way, if the crazy anon abuses this, we'll know who doesn't have the mot de passe yet.
*Please don't give the mot de passe to anyone else, even a fellow trusted Biggerstaff. I know it's not easy, but we have to take percussion.
posted by MrsPadfoot
Dear Biggerstaffs,

Summer is right around the corner for me, and as I sit in my bedroom on Memorial Day, scrolling through the mur posts, I realize that this is no longer family to me. I can't keep up with the family anymore, and the arbre alone confuses me. I know that I wasn't one of the original Biggerstaffs, but I'm sixty percent sure I was one of the firsts outside the original. I don't know, don't take my word for it.

I am not saying that this makes me any better than the new ones, just pointing out that I've seen this family grow quite a bit. It didn't bother me at first, I mean, I was...
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Gemonk posté a question asking what the three things that annoyed toi most were. I tried to answer, but unfortunately it was too long and it wouldn’t let me post it. So, I decided to make my answer an article.


1. People who immediately change the subject when they know toi have a point.

2. People who try and convert me and then say I'm not Christian because I believe in reincarnation and not hell and then start trolling me about it.
Example:
Religious-nut: Do toi believe in God?
Me: What?
Religious-nut: Do you???
Me: I guess...
Religious-nut: Good. Do toi believe he's out savior?
Me: I- what?
Religious-nut:...
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posted by wotcher-tonks
Okay, so I was bored one jour and I decided to post an internal argument of good and evil. See, I was getting my Friends to question my sanity, so I was pretending to be an evil genius. I actually conquered two of my friends' minds and they became my evil minions! Then, I got bored with being evil and I asked my minions what I should do instead. One told be to be a unicorn and the other told me to be a pickle...Since I already am a unicorn and the idea of being a cornichon, pickle makes me sick to my stomach, I decided to make this up! This is what goes on in my head...

Evil sits at his evil working space,...
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