Here are a few great and classic quotes from Dr. Cox who is full of them:

Dr.Cox: Let me go ahead and share alittle something special with you that i like to call Perry's perspective: one, if someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and can't decide what they want in the half hour it took to get to the register then i should be allowed to kill them; two, i am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called bring back the porn; three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor and a man is to be an island, you are born alone, you damn sure die alone. isn't that right spike? the point is, and you might want to jot this down, only the weak need help.

Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.

And another classic:

JD: Y'know how I am totally down with the rap music?
Turk: Dude... be whiter.

Let us not forget this one from Bob Kelso:
Who got two thumbs up and dosent give a crap? Bob Kelso !
And later on the same show:
Who got two thumbs up and still dosent give a crap? Bob Kelso thought we'd met !

I just saw 'My way home' and found a great one i couldnt stop laughing at. Heres a conversation with the Janitor -
JD: Your not aware of an underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think i saw aa manitee!
Janitor: Was it Julian?
JD: We didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That was Julian.

that had me cracking up for five minutes... and ive seen it before!

Janitor: Your stupid.
JD: Thats it?
Janitor: Give it time. It'll eat at you
(later on)
JD:Am I stupid?
Elliot: Yeah a little bit.

dr cox=newbie

denny=dr cox iz fit do u memba that episode lol

the best quote ever was season 5 episode 21 (just after the realllly sad on:( )
dr cox: newbie can you give me some trouble here im having some help

lol

Lol, that last one there had me pissing myself for ages! So many to choose from...this one comes to mind because I just saw it today:

-Looks upwards...-"God, my brilliance is becoming a bit of a burden, get back to me." :D

how about:

Kelso: Sweet dancing Jehova, I've punctured my brain
(well, ok, maybe it's funny mostly in context)

Cox (the same ep as the "I like this moment so much I want to have sex with it"): This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments


There were probably funnier quotes, I just don't remember them :)

So, so, so many. I'll just post a few of the more hilarious ones...

Dr. Kelso: I want you to kill the giant bat that's been living in my attic!
Turk: You keep Enid in the attic?

J.D.: It's a Mexican themed fiesta on the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That means I'm turning thirty. Donde? 56 Walnut Drive. Cuando? Thank you for asking, ocho-thirty until upside down question mark. Sombreros at the door.

Dr. Cox: Don't ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that. The simple fact that you actually seem to give a crap is the reason I took an interest in you to begin with. It's why I trust you as a doctor. Hell, it's... it's why I trust you as a person.
J.D.: Are you dying?

Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.

Dr. Cox: Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'

J.D.: [voiceover] I knew Dr. Casey now pretty well, everyday, he goes to his first patient's room and touches every single thing in there...
Dr. Kevin Casey: [touching things] Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink...
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Casey, your patients are complaining about a noise in your wing.
Dr. Kevin Casey: [pokes Dr. Kelso on the nose] Bink.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. CASEY! Your patients!
Dr. Kevin Casey: If the noise is bink then I can explain...
Dr. Kelso: IT'S NOT BINK!

Dr. Kelso: If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't schedule love.
Dr. Cox: I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.

Dr. Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr. Clock: Gracias, Señor.
Dr. Kelso: You're welcomo.

J.D.: You're an actor.
Janitor: You're a fireman... What are we doing?

Janitor: What are you? (disgusted)
Todd: I'm The Todd

Here are some:

[to JD]
Janitor: You seem unhappy. I like that.

Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
J.D.: I don't know... the... rough side of a sponge?
[silence]
Janitor: Dammit.

J.D.: [thinking] Maybe I was being unfair to Turk. Maybe it's too much to expect a friend to just sense that you're upset and wanna talk about it...
Elliot: [when JD walks by Elliot and Carla] Carla, I can sense you're upset, talk to me!
J.D.: [looks confused, the continues walking and thinks] OK, but Turk is a prideful guy and it's hard for prideful guys to admit when they've been insensitive
Dr. Cox: [when JD walks by Dr. Cox and Jordan] Listen, Jordan, I've been incredibly insensitive...
J.D.: [looking back to the hallway, thinking] Touché, magic hallway!

Turk: It sounds like you're asking me out on a man date.
J.D.: Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?

Turk: He was up all night with a high fever, cramping and crying.
J.D.: Dude!
Turk: Oh, my bad. Not crying, punching the wall all manly and angry like, you know what I mean?

Dr. Cox: You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons. Please think of me as button-less, all smooth like G.I Joe's nether-regions. And, by the by, this image is brought to you by my son Jack, who has been yanking the pants off of his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is... just disturbing enough so that, leaving the house, I'm cranky and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you - THE FOOL. I'm done suffering you so go now. Go... go before you can write a book entitled "Help! A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass COLON: The Lester Hedrick Story".

anything Cox says really. hah.

"Bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine."

OH and I love Cox's "things I don't give a crap about" speech.
and the "traffic cone/finding nemo on dvd" thing.

and JD when he's pretending to be Dr. Cox in "My Butterfly."

OH! The Dr Cox 'Things I don't care about speech'! I know that off by heart! But we can't miss this at the end of that speech -

Dr. Cox: And Hugh Jackman. Hmmph.
JD: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he.

And JD's song: I'mmmm feeling so good today! (Falls over) I still feel good cos nobody saw me faaaaalllll

And JD's waffle song (performed wonderfully by Dr. Cox): HEEEEY HO IT'S WAFFLE TIME ITS WAFFLE TIME WON'T YOU HAVE SOME WAFFLES OF MINE!

More wonderful songs- Janitor: Driiiiilll fork you can drill and fork... mostly fork.

Elliot: My life is a mess.
JD: At least you're pretty.
Elliot: Yeah well pretty don't pay the rent.
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Omigod your sister's a prostitute?
Carla: No she's a model. Come on Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.

Ted: That is not fair. You know I have stress-induced dislexia Dr. Oslek.

Turk (trying to black but not quite succeeding): Homie here you know he's a little out of his mizzle, so I'm sayin' for just a little bizzle, let him up in this pizzle, he'll be chizzle.

Oh! And one more!
Carla: Are you just going to roll over like that?
Jordan: It's weird that's exactly what I asked him last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage, the anger, the hate?
Jordan: Again. Last night.
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: (gasps) Okay now it's just getting spooky!

Two Hilarious ones from 6x17 "Their Story"

1. Ted in Dr. Kelso's office looking at a knife

Dr. Kelso: "What are you thinking, Ted?"
Ted (In his head): "I could jam this through the soft spot on his temple then slit my wrists with it before anyone got in here to stop me"
Ted (out loud): the usual, sir.
Kelso: "Well, you'd never do it you don't have the guts"

Shortly afterwards when the nurses blackmail Kelso with stuff Ted gave them, Kelso says
Kelso: "Ted? Are you responsible for this?"
Ted: "Please sir, I don't have the guts."
Ted (in his head):"Ohh Yeah! SUCK it bitch! I will murder you!"

Classic. Another good moment in that episode

Kelso:"And why are you standing here doing nothing?"
Janitor:"I know this is a slowdown, but...I cant' really work any slower than I normally do, so I pretty much have to come to a complete stop".
As Kelso turns to leave, Janitor continues: "Now, If you're asking why I'm standing here, specifically, it's because, I replaced that light bulb with a tanning bulb. I'm tired of being the only white guy at my mosque."

Oh and when ted drops the extra hot tea. that was good.

Guys, im a bit disappointed in the lack of Todd quotes:

Woman in bed: Docter, im getting a bit tired of all these sexual inuendos.

Todd: ... In your endo.

Or from the very first episode:

Janitor: Doors broke..
JD: Maybe theres a penny stuck in it.
Janitor: Why a penny?
JD: No reason
Janitor: Did you put a penny in there? If i find a penny in there, im coming after you.

Or another Dr. Cox one, from memory so might be a little off.

"Lassie, due to the beastiality rumours circulating about you ive decide to call you by famous dogs names. I've gone with lassie that this satisfys the criteria of being both a girl and a dog, thus helping you ease into the transition"


Just a few of mine =) my fav is the pancake and sivlerware but its already up lol

JD when he sings "i come from the land down under..." lol, cracks me up just thinking about it.

Season 2 Episode 18 =

[Runs into trolley]
JD: Is anyone else a doctor?

I'm not sure what episode either of my favorite quotes are, but here they are:

Janitor: You're stupid.
JD: What? That's it?
Janitor: Give it time, it'll eat at ya...

Dr. Cox: It just wouldn't be a wedding without a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.

Dr. Kelso: What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso, how you doing?

Elliot: I'm really impressed how you've handled the 'just friends' situation.
JD: No biggy (thinking) throw her on that gurney and mount her like a lion...

Dr. Cox: "Nice Nancy Drew work there...nancy."

Elliot: "Imagine your uterus is like a tube of toothpaste and you're trying to squeeze out all that minty fresh gel but instead of minty fresh gel, its a little black baby."

Elliot: Sir, my father cut me off...
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, this is not Bring Your Problems to Work Day. This is just Work Day.

J.D.: Look, uh... Janitor...
[the Janitor rolls his eyes]
J.D.: ...I'm gonna be straight with you: I saw your penis, and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
J.D.: Last night, when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
J.D.: Oh, I was outside, in the bushes.
[the Janitor takes a second to process this answer]
Janitor: Uhhh...
J.D.: Look, it was just a coincidence, man - I mean, i-i-if you had looked out the window, you'd have seen my penis, you know!
Janitor: What? Why?
J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!

[the Janitor is running the hospital PA announcement system]
Janitor: [over PA] Dr. Dorian, Dr. Turk is free for his rectal exam. He said you'd know what that means.
[J.D. and Turk give each other a horrified look, and run off in opposite directions]

Dr. Cox: Shower shorts, newbie?
J.D.: For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.

my fav one is when

dr cox-come on newbie ive went to see the wiggles live in consert 2 times

turk-did they play little red car?

dr cox-they opend and cloesd the show with it
ha haha hahaha sooo funny

I had almost finished typing out my list when I accidently went onto a different page and it got deleted and I can't be bothered to type it up again, although I will say a few, and may add over time when my frustration is lower and my obssesivness is higher:

Janitor: KNIFE WRENCH!


Ted: OH YEAH! SUCK IT B****! I WILL MURDER YOU!

(Dr Cox's "anti-Lester Hedrick" speech:

Dr. Cox: * You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons. Please think of me as button-less, all smooth like G.I Joe's nether-regions. And, by the by, this image is brought to you by my son Jack, who has been yanking the pants off of his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is... just disturbing enough so that, leaving the house, I'm cranky and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you - THE FOOL. I'm done suffering you so go now. Go... go before you can write a book entitled "Help! A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass COLON: The Lester Hedrick Story" And his after-quote:

"He seems impervous to my threats...

...that annoys me."


*thanks smackdabish for the speech

(After model plane blows up)
JD: What an odd sized explosion...


Dr Cox: Up yours Bobo!
Jack: Yeah, up yours Bobo!



Jack: Man check! (punches Dr Cox in the groin)



And the many high fives from The Todd.


I finish with a quote from Johny-Tackling-Alzheimers-Patient

"WHO AM I?????" (smacks head into screen)

Thanks for all these. You all just helped me with my Art project =]. My personal favourite

(Turk's spinning round and round on the ceiling fan)
JD: He was a beautiful black blur.

I have two

From Her Story II

JD: You know what's funny Turk. She's crying, but she's not saying "that's so sad". She's actually crying

Turk: Your an idiot.

JD: I know.

And from Their Story.

Ted: YES, SUCK IT BITCH, I WILL MURDER YOU!!!

season 1 - my mentor when Dr Cox is on about spooning,
'do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?'

it had me feel uncomfortable but i still laughed for like 10mins!! LMAO!

JD and the Janitor

JD: Look uhh...Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with you. I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out

Janitor:When did you see my penis?

JD: Last night, when you were showering

Janitor: Where were you?

JD: I was outside in the bushes. Look it was just a coincidence man, if you had looked out the window you'd have seen my penis

Janitor: What?... Why?

JD: 'cause I had it out while I was looking at yours

From that same episode, "My Interpretation":
JD: Uh, I still want to refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign to me.
Janitor: Benign, nine-and-a-half...

"Come on Janitor, you went to Harvard for God's sake!" - and then in "My Deja Vu.." "Come on Janitor, you went to Yale for God's sake!"

Loads from "My Hero"

Turk: Just because I'm thorough and I want to keep two kelly clamps on the field in case their appendiceal artery is inadvertently incised so I can gain immediate hemostatic control doesn't mean I think too much. Plus, what if I needed to...
Todd's Narration: #Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun shiny scalpel! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun gonna slice him up.#

Janitor: Your mother's maiden name is Turner.
J.D.: So you used your key to get into my personnel file. Big deal.
Janitor: Your first kiss was with Sarah Briggs at the embarrassing age of sixteen. She wore a green turtleneck, and you wonder sometimes if she still thinks about you. I'm guessing no.
J.D.: How could you possibly know that?
Janitor: I'm your father!

Janitor: You're afraid of escalators.
J.D.: That's not uncommon.
Janitor: You like the way cashmere feels on your skin!
J.D.: How are you doing this?
Janitor: That's right! You run away! Run away from the truth!

From "My Missed Perception":

Dr. Kelso: How old do you think I am, Dorian?
J.D.'s Thoughts: Okay, there's no way to answer that and not get in trouble. Change the subject.
J.D.: Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me at my place on Sunday for some homemade jambalaya.
Dr. Kelso: Well, it would be good for Enid to get out of the house....
J.D.'s Thoughts: Oh my God, he's actually thinking about it! Change the subject back!
J.D.: You're seventy-eight, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You think I'm that old?
J.D.: Jambalaya....
Dr. Kelso: I'm fifty-seven, numb-nuts.
J.D.: Really?
Dr. Kelso: And I know they say fifty-seven is the new forty --
J.D.: Who?
Dr. Kelso: -- but lately, it seems all people see when they look in my direction is some old guy. Hell, just last week, I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstone, and some kid asked me if I was lost.
J.D.: Brookstone? Were you looking for gadgets, sir?
Dr. Kelso: If that's what you call trolling for mall ass, then yeah.

"My Philosophy"
Discussing Turk's proposal:
J.D.: Okay, first you gotta get, like, fifty candles, right?
Turk: Mm-hmm?
J.D.: You spread 'em all over the room with some rose petals....
Turk: That's right, because the roses are beautiful, and they make the room smell amazing.
J.D.: Like a meadow in springtime.
Turk: Mmm.
Carla comes in from the bedroom.
Carla: What are you guys talking about?
Turk: Nothing, guy talk!
J.D.: Yeah, bitches and hos.

lol!
Coming out of a reverie:

JD: Sure disintergrate the messenger...

JD: I gotta learn to play the banjo...

JD: You have a late night at work, you come home, have a few beers, smother your kids... It's fun right? Wrong. Don't smother your kids.

Right afterwards:

JD: Hey dont you think I'd be a great announcer of things?

Janitor: There is not a toilet on the roof!
Todd: But you just said there was.
Janitor: No! Yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor...uhh...that means..."God is watching us." You've heard this, "There's a toilet on the roof."

&

J.D.: You know, sir, Dr. Townshend, here, was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital. I...I'd love to hear one sometime.
Dr. Kelso: Well, what the hell. Back in '68...I don't like you. The end.


&

Elliot: Of course I'm holding back! I'm insane, you idiot! Remember the other day, when you told me that I had pit stains? Well, I have cried every fifteen minutes on the half-hour since you told me that. I am wracked with self-doubt. I have panic attacks. I'm claustrophobic, germaphobic, phobiaphobic. I talk to myself. I talk to my cat. I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that often my cats respond to me in my mother's voice. And yesterday, when that stupid pretty surgical nurse handed you a pair of latex gloves, I almost killed the guy whose leg I was stitching up because I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you having sex on a box of steaks! Why a box of steaks? 'Cause my dad had an affair with a female butcher! And, as I mentioned before, I am insane. There! I opened up! Are you happy?

&

J.D.: What's up, fellas. Look, I know I'm usually Medical, I just want you guys to know I consider you all me pee-pees.

Janitor: I swear on my unborn fishboy she will pay.

Elliot: Hows the drama-queen today?
JD: I don't know, how are you? ZIINNNG!

JD: Mr Steele, first name: Man of -
Dr. Cox: You're done.

Dr.Cox: You go to work - she's there. You go out - she's there. And when you go home, where is she?
Turk:... There?
Dr. Cox: Dinnng.

Elliot: JD i really don't wanna do this can't we just go home, put on our pyjamas and watch Grey's Anatomy?
JD: Oh i do love that show. It's like they've been watching our lives and just put it on TV!




I got season 5 WooOoOooOooOoOT!!!

There was one that made me laugh

J.D walks in sees janitor in shorts

J.D : Wearing shorts today?

Janitor : What i can't wear shorts, because i'm a lowly janitor?

J.D : I didn't say lowly.

Janitor : Oh, now i'm just a janitor?

J.D : YES!

Or Janitors 'Knife-Wrench!'

Or when Turk beats carla at a arm wrestling match

Turk : 'That's what you get!, That's what you get when you mess with the warrior!'

Or The Todds best high five 'Betrayal Five'

Or when Janitor pretends to be the chief of medicine

Janitor : Let's go and make cancer foolish.

Turk: Oh my god, J.D. listen!
J.D.: Not now Turk, I'm Glowbasking

this isn't really a quote but the song guy love is sooo funny.

Dr Cox: Make Daddy proud on 3. One, two, three. Make Daddy proud!

Still one of my favorites

Dr.Kelso: I got you a present to your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr.Molly Clock: Gracias Senior
Dr.Kelso: Your Welcomo

Another from the same episode

Dr.Cox: Lady, people aren't chocalates. Do you know what they are mostly. Bastards, bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

'Or when Turk beats carla at a arm wrestling match

Turk : 'That's what you get!, That's what you get when you mess with the warrior!' '

Hahaha, That is still my favorite one of all time.

nr 2:

Kelso (on the phone): Baxter is showing his teeth? Ok here's what you do.. Are you ready? ... Ok... MAKE A SUDDEN MOVE!!!
*Screams and growls comming from the phone*
Kelso: Hahahahaha
*hangs up the phone*

haha, i love dr.cox's dead pan humor:

Janitor: Do you wanna make a wager?
Dr. Cox: I do, but I really have no use for a cracked thermos and two pounds of keys.

O, and any use by Kelso of the name "Turkleton"

Mine is in 'My Musical'

Dr Cox: It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face, you always need a hug, not to mention all the manly appletini's that you chug, that you think that im your mentor just continues to perplex, and oh my god stop telling me when you have nerdy sex!

Dr. Kelso : Hey, guess what has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?
[Points at his face with his thumbs]
Dr. Kelso : Bob Kelso! I think we've met...

-

Ted : I feel I'd be more productive if my phone dialed out.

-

Dr. Kevin Casey: It's been four hours since my last surgery, I just can't stop washing my hands...
[grunts]
Dr. Kevin Casey: This is a secret... no one is suppose to know about this. Ok?
J.D. : Okay, no problem.
Dr. Kevin Casey: I just don't want to tell anyone, this is my problem, no one should ever burden it on someone else...
J.D. : [voice over] He was right, I couldn't do it...
Dr. Kevin Casey: You need help JD?
J.D. : No, nothing...
[voiceover]
J.D. : None of us needed help...

-

Dr. Kelso : Son, do you think I got to be Chief of Medicine by being late?
Dr. Cox : Noooo, Bobbo, you got there by backstabbing and ass-kissing.
Dr. Kelso : Maybe so, but I started those things properly at eight!

Dr. Cox: Sex is like a sport. Racquetball, in fact. You play hard for 30 minutes, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

The Janitor (to J.D): You're unhappy..... I like that

Best one is this....

JD innermonologue: just tell him how you feel without sounding like a complete girl for once!
JD: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes...
JD innermonologue: damnit!

Love these...

[Dr. Kelso has punctured his eardrums]
Ted: There you are, you deaf bastard! I hate you so much, every time you utter my name, I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it!
Dr. Kelso: Ted, I can hear now.
Ted: [frightened] Who's Ted?

J.D.: [JD and Turk are lying on the ground] Why are we lying in the parking lost?
Turk: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious and I lied down next to you so everybody would think we were chillin'.
J.D.: Oh. Thanks S.C.B. By the way I should tell you something. I found an apartment and I'm moving out the day after tomorrow.
Turk: Wow. What does S.C.B. mean?
J.D.: Super. Chocolate. Bear.
Turk: I love it.

Ted: And you know what else? I quit!
Dr. Kelso: No you don't!
Ted: Well I'm leaving early today!
Dr. Kelso: No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!
Ted: Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!
Dr. Kelso: Whatever.

Turk: You know, I never get chocolate cake.

Elliot: Oh, right, cause you're diabetic. Boo hoo. You know Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!

Elliot: (on the phone) Janitor, tell Turk Carla's starting to push.
Janitor: (on the phone) Got it. (to Turk) Your baby has a tail.
Turk: I told her to stay away from the microwave.

Kelso: Hey there Sport.
3-year-old Jack Cox: Your face is wrinkly.
Kelso: Yeah? Well that shirt your wearing is gay.

Jordan: "Here, take the fake sugars, because I hope you get cancer I really do. Well, my parents were really mean to me."

J.D.'s narration: "So what rhymes with baptism? Raptism? Schmaptism? Naptism? I'm so tired I could use a naptism...and there's my opening joke! I should write "pause for laughter" so I don't forget!"

J.D.: "And if any of you cows, goats, or ducks have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me! I'm just like all of you, only giant and human!... Thank you. I hope you enjoyed our production of World's Most Giant Doctor Goes to the Farm."

J.D.'s narration- "As I fondled Katya, my pillow girlfriend..."

J.D.: Should I get a baby too?
Turk: I'm a little preoccupied right now. Why don't you ask your unicorn?
J.D.: Ah, this is way over Justin's head... he's never been in love. Not real love, anyway...

Dr. Christopher Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Oh, okay, Turk! Looks like someone's getting crossed off their two o'clock spot and getting pencilled in for never. How does that feel? Does it sting?

Turk: Do you see what you get when you mess with the warrior!

J.D.'s narration: What are you doing? Elliot's amazing and you're crazy about her. If you let her leave, I'm gonna do this all day: I get knocked down but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down...

I have some good ones:
Dr Kelso: Its not because i have Johnny tattooed on my butt, Johnny was my old navy buddy.

The Todd (s06e17): I dont stuff!!
Snoop-Dogg Resident: Maybe u should

J.D (same episode after drifting away in who knows what): Were gonna need a whole lot of gnomes.

Dr Kelso: What are u 2 doing here?
Janitor: Wrestling.
Randall: & drinking beer...
Janitor: Only the winner gets to drink beer...
Randall: *burps*

Dr Kelso (after cox shaved his head): Shouldnt u be out there fighting superman?... U look like Lex Luxor.

Also the one with JD's music (cant recall the actual conversation): blah blah blah.. & then the music starts to play, in my head its like this: ba ba baba baba ba baaaa... ba ba baba ba ba ba baaaa

wow... they never get old =)

Dr. Kelso: Guess who had two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso, nice to meet you.

Or

Kelso: Guess who had two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso, I thought we'd met.

I came up with some other funny quotes, here goes:

JD: Hey Lavern, what would u give me if i get this jelly bean in ur cleavage?
Lavern: A CONCUSSION...

Ted (after Cox called him "sweaty teddy"): Hey!!! only my mother calls me that!!

Season 1 Episode 17 (My Student):
Dr Cox: Hey newbie... the only way u could be less useful around here is if u were in fact that wall ur leaning on, of course u wont be as useless since u will be providing support for some jackass like yourself to reflect on what a jackass he is!!

(Later on in the episode):

JD (to med. student): Newbie wait!!
Carla: Newbie???
JD (whispers): Shut Up!!
(to med student again): Yes Shirly, put some gloves on & help me with this patient..... What do u want? A Cookie?? GO PUT SOME SCRUBS ON GO GO GOOOO!

Season 2 Episode 15 (His Story):

Psychiatrist: Are u telling me that u actually listened to someone else's advice & did soething good for ur career?
Dr.Cox: Yes!! :D
Psych.: Thats a big moment for me
Dr.Cox: Congratulations.
Psych.: Perry, if theres somebody in this hellhole of a hospital that u trust, please hold on to him because that person's nothing short of a genius!!
(Scenes change to JD in elevator alone)
JD (singing): EVERYBODY WANTS KUNG-FU FIGHTIIIING nimi nimi nim nininini
This part always cracks me up especially when we learn in season 5(my urologist) that he wasnt alone in the elevator at that time :D

(same episode)
Med. Student: Dr. Jerk!
JD(to turk):Ohohoh.. she just called u dr jerk!!
Turk: Well.. too bad u never heard what she said about Dr Mickhead.
JD: What?