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posted by x-menobsessed26
NEW MEXICO CHILI COOK OFF

If toi can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying par the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If toi pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.


For those of toi who have lived in New Mexico, toi know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced...
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posted by Naoko_Etsumi
Dear, fans

As the titre says does anyone want a story/one shot. As u probly dont know i have just graduated high school with my good friend demon_wolf aka Whinny and since that has happened i have found nothing to entertain me. And to haut, retour au début it off i have writers block :'( im so sorry im a horrible person for having this curse from hell it happens to me all the time. And so i ask toi to please let me know if u want a story/one shot.

If toi do happen to read this and say yes you'll help and toi give me permission to use your character par making toi a story this is what i need from you.

this list...
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posted by percylover19
Percylover19 3

(this whole story is in Kerry's POV)
Chapter 1
     I picked up the phone and called Sam. Sam has been my best friend since third grade. He has dirty blond hair and brown eyes. He also lives right up my street. "Hello?" he answered.
     "Hey it's me, Kerry. Has the new kids moved in yet?"
     "I have seen the moving van a couple of times but no sign of our new neighbors."
     "I really hope one of them is a girl. No offense but I really want somebody I can talk to about girly stuff, that's not my mom."
     "None taken. I don't want to know about your girl troubles...
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posted by Insane4ever
Heres the 2nd part of my story,again sorry for misspells and if toi missed my 1st part of the story just click on "read plus articles par insane4ever" ou how ever,its under the article...



You have alredy met our guy right???that lonely guy wakeing up in the middle of the desert without any memories.
After turning around a few times he choses a direction again and starts walking,its getting dark,whitch means its getting cold,he is becomeing woried becouse at night its often veary cold in deserts.he starts running,trying to find anything,any kind of shelter.after 10 minutes he finally finds some...
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i was sad one day
i was walking in the street
feeling sad and alone
the boy i have a crush on is my first best friend
and my other best friend
who's also a boy
to wich i say everything to
has a crush on me and just admited it
i was walking in the rue
feeling sad and alone
my house is a little farther
and i'm actually enjoying the nice breeze
i take my ipod out of my jeans pocket
and put john mayer's your body is a wonderland
and i buy some licerish
and i turn the volume up
and start dancing in the street
i get farther from home
to a little hill
and i sleep on the ground lookin up
there's no one suivant to me
i...
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posted by K5-HOWL
It's been only 15 years since gray wolves, after years of near-extinction, were reintroduced into Yellowstone National Park. The initial group of 66 loups were transplanted into the park from Canada beginning in 1995. Now, plus than 1,545 loups roam Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming.Biologists say that a minimum of 2,000 to 3,000 loups are needed within the area in order to keep them from disappearing again.The loups have had tremendous populaire support from the beginning. Their reintroduction has been par far the most publicized and celebrated of any wildlife reintroduction in the U.S. The wolves...
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 Ferine
Ferine
The Cause of Stupidity:
Long il y a in Southern America their was a donkey named, Ferine. Ferine was super smart. He was smarter than all the animals. His IQ was 409. His parents were very proud of him.
One jour Ferine went to the market and was buying pears. He picked up the pear. The price was 2$. Ferine wanted to buy 2 pears but only had 3$. So, Ferine went up to the counter with 2 pears. The cashier, Monkey said, “That will be 4$ sir.” Monkey was nervous talking to the smartest animal. He was the dumbest animal and his parents were not proud of him. Ferine frowned, “What do toi mean? I...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Decades il y a the San Francisco baie had been overlapped par the gigantic Golden Gate Bridge. Night and jour were perfectly separated and there was a balance between buildings and nature. However, ever since Wyatt Halliwell had taken over community, the city was covered in darkness 24/7. The bridge had been blown up when he’d Lost his temper once again, which happened lots of times.
Everyone was scared to death for the Charmed Ones son and there were only a handful of people who stood up to him. The rest of the community was murdered on his command ou tried to please him par spying on the enemy...
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Tuvalu- Tuvalu is a Mean Woman, she can be pretty boring, she likes to eat a lot of Candy, she has long curly hair just like Samoa, and she has a little skirt, and some tights, and some long boots that is all the way to her knees, and a long sleeve shirt, she also has a little diary, she never lets anyone in her house, she loves to be in conversations, plus, she might be a little nice

Samoa- Samoa is a foolish woman, she never speaks to anyone but Marshall Islands, everyone calls her stupid, otherwise that Canada and her are cousins, she be foolish to him,

*little mini story*
Samoa- where its...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. toi can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 22: Wayne's Invention

Wayne was sitting on his front porch when he saw Parker arrive in his Packard, followed par Kevin in his truck, and Liam in a Buick.

Wayne: Perfect. Right on time.
Kevin: *Walks with Liam, and Parker towards Wayne*
Liam: Good morning.
Parker: What did...
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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' par Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor a dit we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The jour toi left, I swore I'd never talk to toi again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always toi who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether toi are the driver, riding shotgun, ou sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make a dit drive go par much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska ou Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when toi are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the a dit sibling is...
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posted by NatalieSunshine
1.Run with her on the beach.
2.Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
3.Never talk about other girls infront of her.
4.Learn to play the guitare for her.
5.Comfort her when she’s scared.
6.Watch the sunset with her.
7.If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
8.If toi get in a fight with her and she starts crying,just stop and hold her.
9.Never force her to do anything.
10.Call her beautifull,especially when she least expects it.
11.Never let her walk alone.
12.Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
13.Always make the first move.
14.Never lie to her she’ll find out.
15.Kiss her when...
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posted by i_luv_angst
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico...
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posted by Mallory101
Widely Used Symbols:
ツ ♋ 웃 유 Σ ⊗ ♒ ☠ ☮ ☯ ♠ Ω ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ ♡ ♦ ☼ ☻ ☺ ۞ ۩ ∞ ♂ ♀ ™ ® © ⊗ ♒ ▢ ▲ △ ▼ ▽ ◆ ◇ ○ ◎ ● ◯ Δ ◕ ◔ ʊ ϟ ღ 回 ₪ ✓ ✔ ✕ ✖ ☢ ☣ ☤ ☥ ☦ ☧ ☨ ☩ ☪ ☫ ☬ ☭

卐™©® ¿¡½⅓⅔¼¾ ⅛⅜⅝⅞ ℅№⇨ ❝❞ ℃
∃∧∠ ∨∩⊂ ⊃∪⊥∀ ΞΓɐəɘεβ ɟɥɯɔи ๏ɹʁ яʌʍλ ч∞ΣΠ ⌥


Money Currency:
¢ € £ ¥

Circled Numbers:
➀➁➂ ➃➄➅ ➆➇➈ ➉
➊➋➌➍ ➎➏➐➑➒➓

Circled ABC's:
ⒶⒷⒸⒹⒺⒻ ⒼⒽ ⒾⒿⓀ ⓁⓂⓃ ⓄⓅⓆ...
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1.    When a stranger helps me pick up something I accidentally dropped
2.    When the DJ plays a song I requested
3.    Reading my old diaries/journals
4.    Hearing good results from the dentist
5.    Coming accueil after being away for a while
6.    The fresh feeling after I wash my face
7.    Getting in line before it gets long
8.    Being in the car while its going through an electric car wash
9.    Finding out your having...
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posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
1. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
2. Ask for extra homo-sapien
3. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
4. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
5. Ask them if toi get a free rendez-vous amoureux, date with one of the staff if toi make an order over $30.
6. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
7. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
8. Ask if toi get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
9. Order a one-inch pizza.
10. Tell them to put the crust...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell toi a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give toi the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win ou lose fight its one of those that toi hate.
Cheral:Do toi have that one girl that toi don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by blaise_jez
Q .. How do toi sink a submarine full of blondes?
A .. Knock on the door.

Q .. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A .. The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

Q .. What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A .. A blonde at a blinking red light.

Q .. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A .. A blonde parade.

Q .. What is the blonde's highest ambition in life?
A .. They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q .. What are the six worst years in a blonde's life.
A .. Third grade.

Q .. What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A .. toi keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q .. How to toi keep a blonde busy all day?
A .. Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q .. What do toi do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A .. Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
posted by miniabby33
Things to do when bored.
1 call all of your contacts on your phone
2 walk around your neighborhood and everytime toi see someon say a compleatly aléatoire word like tacos
3 fake play a video game to annoy someone don't forget sound effects
4 dance to every song on the radio
5 walk around a public place with your pants pulled up like a nerd
6 hang out with old friends
7 have a thé party like toi did when toi were little
8 write your name n a piece of paper over and over
9 play ding dong ditch
10 act. Like your alseep on a chair in public and scare everyone who comes par except old people


commentaire and I will make more