"So you're quitting to rejoindre Homo Explosion?"
"Dude! Chicks don't have prostates. I looked it up!"
"He's already in a wheelchair."
"Look. If I joined the flag team, you'd beat the crap out of me!" 1x03 Acafellas:
"Yeah...I'm kinda Rock'n'Roll" 1x04 Preggers:
"Well, call the Vatican! We got ourselves another immaculate conception!"
"Hey ankle grabber...I had sex with your mother, no seriously....I cleaned your pool, and then I had sex with her in your bed. Oh, and nice étoile, star Wars sheets." 1x05 The Rhodes not taken:
"The wheelchair kid's right. That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire, but she can sing." 1x08 Mash-Up:
"Rachel was a hot Jew and the Good Lord wanted me to get into her pants."
" toi know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes ou how the slushee drips into your underpants. It's the humiliation."
"Why? We're a couple of good-lookin' Jews. It's natural."
Are toi questioning my badassedness? Have toi seen my guns?" 1x09 Wheels:
"$1,200. That's enough for the short bus and two cases of Natty Light for the ride home." 1x10 Ballad:
"I l’amour the days when i don't wear underwear: Full Commando." 1x11 Hairography:
"Just the usual. I was gonna stand outside the 7-11 looking depressed until someone offered to buy me beer, but what's going on?"
"I tried to resist Santana, I did! But I'm young and girls have this power over me, but hey, it's all good."
"Baby, I'm a dude. I have needs."