Phil: Don't talk black to me!

Claire: Who's our dumbest kid?
Phil: Luke.

Phil: The little snowflake makes it cold, cold, cold. Set Temperature makes it hold, hold, hold...

Phil [from the port-o-potty]: Just concluding a little business. Successfully, I might add!

Phil: Some people call me a salesman, I call myself a salesfriend, so obviously I need strangers to trust me. I don't take it kindly when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.

Phil: Just test-driving my new soupe strainer. I dug it out of the Halloween stuff to see what people think.

Phil: toi know how in a fairy tale there's always a potion...

One is Fizbo, the other fussy.

On ABC's Modern Family, Eric Stonestreet, 38, is the flashy and affectionate Lion King-loving Cameron Tucker, who moonlights as Fizbo the clown. His longtime partner, the tightly wound and Fizbo-loathing lawyer Mitchell Pritchett, is played par Jesse Tyler Ferguson, 34. Together, they make up one of the most high-profile gay couples on prime time.

And like any couple, real ou fictional, these two have their pet peeves with each other.

Stonestreet: "I know what Jesse's is of mine."

Ferguson: "You're Pollyanna."

Stonestreet: "Go ahead."

Ferguson: "He has this very Southern...

Phil has some amazingly funny citations in Season 1! Heres just some of my faves from episode 1 to 10!
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Phil: I'm cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

Phil [about Desiree]: Am I attracted to her? Yes. Would I ever act on it? No, no way. Not while my wife is still alive

Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the suivant level.
Claire: Really? I thought toi were all...