This is my first article, so please don't be hard on me and I apologize if my grammar isn't good, English is not my native language.
I recently came across a couple of TVD 'confessions' in Tumblr that made me feel really bad:
One was comparing Damon's quote about the SE breakup in 4x07 'I heard about the breakup, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not' to Stefan's quote about Elena choosing Damon in 4x23 'I'm not happy about Elena, but I'm not not happy for you'. This person a dit that Damon is the worst brother ever.
The seconde one was about DE: 'they're so selfish together, I hate them'
I'd like to explain why both are wrong (IMO, at least)
Damon being the worst brother:
When I saw the 4x07 scene for the first time, the first thing I thought was that if Damon would've a dit he was sorry about the breakup, SE fans would've probably excused him of lying just to impress Elena. I felt he had every right to not be sorry about it. why would he? The girl he loved just broke up with her boyfriend, and even though that boyfriend is his brother, that doesn't mean he has to be sorry about it. It was exactly like 4x23: Stefan wasn't happy that Elena chose Damon, he was happy that Damon was happy. In 4x07 Damon felt the same: he wasn't sorry about the breakup, but he was sorry that his brother was suffering. Whoever doubts that, the scene right before that in which Damon offers his help to Stefan proves it. It is also important to mention that Defan, after all the working together in the past few episodes, were in a much better state in 4x23 than in 4x07.
Not to mention that in the DE lit scene in 4x06, in which Elena made it pretty clear that she wants to be with Damon, he told her about the cure and promptly begged her to give Stefan another chance.
So that's why, IMO, Damon is not the worst brother.
Now about DE being selfish:
There are only a very few times where DE are being even remotely selfish together, and none of them were to hurt Stefan ou anybody else:
1.The end of 4x07, where Elena arrives at the Salvatore Mansion and Stefan leaves the house:
First of all, they didn't kick Stefan out, he left from his own free will. I agree that in his position, staying was not a good option but still, they didn't force him to leave.
Another thing is, they didn't look happy after he left. If toi look at their faces when they stand par the open door, toi can see that they are really sorry for him.
And last, it was his fault she had to stay at the Salvatore Mansion to begin with. He turned her brother into a crazy vampire hunter. SE fans may argue with me and say that she could've gone somewhere else, but where? To Caroline, who judged her the whole day?
2.4x08 in the morning, Damon asks Elena to keep their relationship as a secret for one day.
Damon didn't do this to hurt anyone, he was actually loved back for once in his life, and he just wanted one jour to appreciate it without everyone's judgement.
3.4x09, Damon struggling to send Elena away from him.
How can toi possibly judge him on this one? Elena finally loves him, and he has to doubt it. All he wants is for them to be together, but he isn't sure if Elena really loves him, and he wants to do 'the right thing par Elena and Stefan'. Elena wants to stay with him, but again, he's not sure if it's her ou the sirebond speaking. It's completely understandable that he's confused. And in the end, he did send her away.
4.4x23 Elena confessing her l’amour for Damon with Stefan overhearing it, the SE fan claimed that 'they didn't even check on him ou cared about him'.
Once again, they didn't mean to hurt him. They just had to get it out of their chest, and they definitely didn't plan it to be exactly where Stefan could hear it, not to mention that in this house, everyone can hear everyone.
Elena didn't check on Stefan (as far as we know) because she wanted to see her brother one plus time before he died. Damon did check on him and offered his help, but that moment was very awkward and Damon didn't really have any words to say.
Another two things about this subject:
1. When did that fan get to see DE being a selfish couple so many times he built this opinion? They hardly even were a couple.
2. What about SE? They were very selfish when they were together. There were numerous occasions in S1&2 where SE kissed, hugged, etc. around Damon, even when they weren't mad at him, and didn't care about his feelings. In the beginning of S4, when they got back together, both of them didn't care at all about Damon and helping him through a tough period, they just went on trips and left him to grieve alone.
So that's it, I hope toi enjoyed reading.