My farewell to Conan (a la 1948 stage drama):
[Curtain opens. Squeaky, front door of ranch house opens]

Me [in kitchen, preparing sophisticated drinks]:
Conan? Is that you? Conan? Come on in, old pal! I've been waitin' for ya'! I made us pork chop and beans, ya' son of a gun. Come here.
[quiet *thump* sound on the ground near the front door]
Annie's been waitin' 17 years for toi to come into our home, and here toi are! Put down your manteau n' hat, ya' hootin' tomcat; kick off your shoes and settle in. Annie got the guest room ready; toi can stay there as long as toi need to get on your feet....