Episode 1;
Roman: (meets Niko at the bateau stop).
Niko: (stressed) What took toi so long!
Roman: Sorry.. I was at a party.. But anyway.. (singing) Welcome, home, Cousin. toi know that, I missed ye-
Niko: [Off-Screen] NO! [On-Screen] NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR toi SING!
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Roman is driving them too the apartment, though he's driving very slowly, much to Niko's anger.
Roman: Do toi think Mallorie's mad at me?
Niko: Because you're in the right lane behind a bus and toi won't go around it? (sarcastically) No, I'm sure she finds it charming.
Roman: No, because I didn't invite her to come toi with me.
Niko: I'm starting to think she dodged a bullet.. The slowest bullet in the world!.
Roman: Calm down Niko.. I thought toi had your anger issues under control?
Niko: What are toi talking about. I don't have anger issu- (suddenly enraged) OH MY GOD ROMAN! toi DID "NOT" HAVE TO SLOW DOWN FOR A BIRD!.. toi KNOW THEY FLY RIGHT!?
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THEME SONG;
link
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MEANWHILE:
Billy: Okay Johnny.. I'll ride up in your bike.
Johnny: I- I don't know man.. toi a bit of a dick to me.
Billy: Johnny boy. I have "never" been a dick to you.
Johnny: [rolls his eyes] Oh please! All toi EVER do is call me names and rip on me for being Jewish!
Billy: Johnny, when have I "ever" ripped on toi for being a Jew?
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[in the playground when first meeting each other] You're a Jew!
{while they argue} Oh yeah! Well your just a stupid Jew!
[Riding on their bikes} SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN JEW MOUTH!
[at the club house, on the front steps] {angry at Johnny} Good job, Jew!
[leaving his siège in the club house] Shut up, Jew!
[angry at Johnny for no explained reason] You're JEWISH!
[seated on a curb with the other boys] Dude, he's Jewish!
[staking out a house] Jew!
[on Nightline, seated suivant to Johnny] Jew!
[in Ashley's dining room] Jew!
[at the side of a road] Jew!
[next to stacks of lumber, as Johnny is about to whack him] Jew!
[at a barn, through a hole on the roof] Jew!
[Johnny reads a Bible] Jew?!
[At a high school dance]
Billy: I told toi Jewish people don't have rhythm.
Johnny: Fuck off, Billy!"
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Billy: ... Okay, except maybe for that one time.
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Niko: So, toi full of crap ou what!?
Roman: What!?
Niko: Where's luxury condo? Where's sports car? Where's Barbara with big titties and Stephanie who sucks like a vacuum?
Roman: What toi talking about?
Niko: In your letters to my mother, in your letters to me... all I hear about is Mr. Big, Mr. Roman, living the American dream. Sports cars, condos, women, money, the beach... opportunity! I come here, and the only thing big about your life is the cockroaches.
Roman: That's right. I got the best cockroaches, I got the best dirt!
Niko: SHUT UP! (angrily punches hole into the wall).
Roman: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, I guess I'm okay with toi destroying my property.
Niko: I'm serprised your sober enough to realize this.. toi were drunk five minutes ago..
Roman: Relax... No alcohol was consumed during the party... Just kidding. I definitely passed out halfway through and woke up pissed off that no one woke me up when in fact they all tried multiple times to no avail. I've been low key lightweight casually kind of sick so I think my body was just like "yo seriously with all these shots right now?" and when I responded with plus shots my body was all like "ok then I'm knocking toi the fuck out" and thus began my slumbers. Apparently I was sweating profusely and they were all looking at me like 'is this dude ok?' So yeah when I say I've been low key lightweight casually kind of sick I mean I've been definitely sick. Anyways that stack of money was fake. Yes, it was hommage money. I was too drunk to realize it was there, they got it out when I was asleep, but yeah I wasn't trying to "flex" so shut up. And if toi don't believe me then why would I have just told all this in such large description? Good one person. This description is just dumb at this point and I'm going to stop giving toi unnecessary information righttt aboutttt now..
Raman: But anyway.. But here, all I needed was one good guy. One good guy, I could do well. Not take over the world, but do oka-
Niko: (angrily after looking in the fridge) WHERE'S THE FUCKIN MILK!?
Roman: I don't have any-
Niko: (enraged) Then go out and FUCKIN par SOME!
Roman: (scared) Okay, okay! (runs out the door).
SOON AFTER:
Roman: (gives Niko lait container) toi happy now?
Niko: (happily) I'm VERY happy now?
Niko and Roman both sit at the table.
Roman: Anyway.. what about you? What about you, cousin?
Niko: What? What about me?
Roman: Well... why toi leave accueil after all this time? First, I hear you're running around with the wrong kind, then I hear toi joined the merchant navy, now you're here. toi never tell me anything.
Niko: No.
Roman: What do toi mean no?
Niko: No, I never tell toi anything. Another time.
Roman: Oooh, mystery man... strange and exotic sailor! What happened? Did your captain make toi pregnant?
Niko: Screw you! No, no, it's nothing like that. The ships were fine. It was before that, two things. toi remember... (sudden anger) WHAT IS UP WITH THIS FUCKIN CHAIR!?
Roman: It's fine. Just keep going.
Niko: Fine., During the war. We did some bad things and bad things happened to us. War is where the young and stupid are tricked par the old and amer into killing each other. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse... Roman?
Niko: (violently pounds table) ROMAN!.. Are toi sleeping toi FAT FUCK!?
Roman: I'm sorry I-
Niko: FUCK toi ROMAN!... Fuck!... Fuck someone!... Fuck a tit!... Fuck a tit hard!... For the l’amour of Alan greenspan... FUCK!
Roman: ... Feel better?
Niko: ... (sighs) not really.
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Billy: Line 'em up, my brother... Let me have some of that heroine, motherfucker!
Brian: Yeah! Heroine is tigh-
Billy: (annoyed) shut up Brian!
Billy: (smokes it).
Brian: Guess this means w-
Billy: [high on cocaine, shouting, speaking quickly] toi know what I can't stand!? Internet piracy! How would toi like it if musicians a volé, étole from YOU!?... (pointing at Clay) What if Cannibal Corpse a volé, étole your precious glasses?
Clay: ... [uncomfortable] I think I'll mostly just be confused..
Billy: (after calming down) So, Johnny boy... Where's my bike?
Johnny: toi know where it is.
Billy: Uhhh... Let me rephrase the question - where the "fuck" is my bike, and why the fuck haven't toi gotten it back for me?
Johnny: Because toi know where it is!
Billy: Are toi deaf? Give me that whisky. Are toi fucking deaf!?
Johnny: No!
Billy: Then answer the God damn question. Why the fuck haven't toi gotten it back for me, friend-brother?
Johnny: One word: business. Like I told toi when toi were in there, ou were toi so busy playing holier-than-thou toi started believing your own bullshit?
Billy Oh forgive me. toi know, I've had a complicated few weeks. It's hard to to pretend to care about people. Espically woman.. Now... GET MY FUCKIN BIKE!
Johnny: What am I!? YOUR FUCKIN DOG!?
Brian: Everyone calm dow-
Everyone: Shut up Brian!
Johnny: Listen, Billy, they were pissed and they had a reason. Your bike chopped that girl's leg off.
Jim: Better than the one Brian got shot.
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(Flashback):
Johnny: Okay Gionna.. Afraid I can't go with toi to the drug trade.. But Brian can go.
Brian: I'll take good care of h-
Johnny: (angrily) SHUT UP BRIAN!
Johnny: (calmly back to Gionna) Anyway.. Brian is a good guy. i promise he won't rob toi and leave toi for dead.
SOON AFTER:
Brian robbed her and left her for dead.
Johnny: My God, Why the hell didn't I see it coming? All right, stand aside. It's about time I did my brotherly duty! (chuckles) I a dit "duty," but no time to laugh about it now!
Johnny finds Brian at a bar.
Johnny: (angrily) salut BRIAN!
Brian: (happy to see him) salut Joh-
Johnny (leaps onto brian violently) And this is for laughing at all your own jokes during bike rides! (punches Brian in the face repeatedly) Who do toi think toi are? Ashley Butler!? (punches Brian in the face repeatedly) toi think because SHE dose it, it's okay for you? (punches Brian in the face repeatedly) toi HAVEN'T EARNED WHAT SHE'S EARNED BUDDY! (drops Brian who crawls away).
Johnny: All right, now where's the guy who betrayed Gionna?
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Roman: Come on, Dardan, what's your problem?
Dardan: I don't have problem. toi do!
[Dardan points a couteau at Roman while Bledar smashes his computer monitor.].
Roman: salut I just got that fixe- (get's locked in chock hold) Mommy!
Dardan [choking Roman] Where's your Russian friend now, eh?
Roman: (choking) He's not my friend... he's my loan shark...
Niko (enters and enraged par the scene) HEY!
Dardan: Fuck you! (tries to stab Niko, who dodge it)
Niko: (breaks his arm).
Dardan Oh my arm. Oh!
Niko: (mockingly) Ohh, was that your arm?
Dardan: Fuck you!
(Bledar hops over the bureau to help Dardan).
(The Albanians retreat and run out of the depot).
Niko: And if toi come back! I'll kill you! toi understand!
Roman: (waving Dardan's dropped knife) toi forgot this, toi Albanian pricks!
Roman: ... Shit, Niko - what did toi do?
Niko HE WAS GONNA STAB ME!
Roman: Now he's going to kill you!
Niko: Relax, they learned there lesson.
Roman: But what if they beat me up later!?
Niko: Don't be silly. That isn't gonna happen..
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Jim: Pretty Boy.
PB Hey.
Jim: Where's the bike?
PB Oh, it's good to see toi too, tough guys.
Uhh... what bike are toi talking about exactly?
Johnny: toi "know" what we're talking about.
PB: Billy's bike? Jesus, man, it's been a long time. I thought he was dead. What's he want it for? To sell it for crack, right, eh?
Billy [walks in] Maybe later.
PB: (scared) Hey, good to see you, Bill! Man, I thought toi was dead...
Billy: Where's the bike?
PB: I don't know.
Billy: (disturbingly calm) Jim, start the bike.
(Jim starts the Bike and Johnny slowly holds him down to the real, much to his fear and agony).
PB: Whoa, hold on... Wait please, please... no, nooo...
Billy: (losing patience) Where - is - my bike?
Johnny: Speak, toi ugly fuck!
PB Ah, okay listen... ah, the anges of Death took it to their place in Northwood. Billy Motherfucking anges of Death. PB That's all I know... please!.
Billy: WHAT!?
PB: I- It's true.
Johnny: (throws Pretty boy down) Thank you.
Billy: Yes.. (smashes hammer onto PB's jaw) THANK YOU!
Jim: Whoo, calm down Bi-
Billy: Shut up!.. Things just keep getting worse and worse for.. I done all this stupid shit from inside jail!.. Even had to take stupid fuckin lessons in becoming less angry. (enraged) But now those anges have my motherfuckin bike! GOD (smashes hole in wall) DAMN IT!
Jim: (sarcastically) But toi 'obviously' became less angry.
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Bleeder: Our problem is your cousin!.
Niko: I told toi too stop! Now it's too late!
Niko grabbed one of the two unnamed men, head butted him violently, and violently kneed him in the face.
He defeats both, later finding the last one and tosses him out a window, killing him.
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Billy: WHOO! I GOT MY BIKE BACK! THIS SO AWESOME! I AM HIGH ON COCAINE! coup de poing ME JOHNNY BOY!
Johnnny: (punches him because Billy asked him too).
Billy: WHY'D toi FUCKIN HIT ME!?
Johnny: toi asked me t-
Billy: Stop making excuses Jew boy!
Johnny: Bu-
Angel leader: (comes into view) Hey! Lost and Damned!
Billy: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Why the long faces? No wait, that's your "normal" faces.
Brian: (laughs)
Billy: Shut up Brian.
Brian: Y- Yes sir.
Billy: Anyway.. Might I tempt toi in a rapide, swift libation, my most trusted and honored guests?
Angel leader: I thought we had a truce going on?
Billy: Did you? Funny thing.. I wasn't aware.
Johnny: I told toi five minutes ag-
Billy: I wasn't aware!
Angel leader: (growls).
Billy: But, let me tell you, it's a strange kind of truce that makes toi think it's okay to gatecrash my party, Deadbeat motherfucker.
Angel leader: I'm sorry. toi enjoy your little party. I take it, the good times are over. No problem, old man. [flips him off while walking away].. Have a nice day.
Billy (shoots him dead) DON'T FUCKIN TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Johnny: Aah, toi moron!
END OF EPISODE ONE:
I only watched episode 4 today.
So, we have our first Todd episode.
I had a feeling I was gonna like this character, Aaron Paul is just a great actor period.
Plus.. I'll probably be Todd in 5 years, xD
Playing video games, sleeping on couches... Selling drugs.
It'll be the best life ever :)
Anyway.. Still nothing to say.
But I'll keep watching.. This one was somewhat of an approvement over the other ones.
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So, we have our first Todd episode.
I had a feeling I was gonna like this character, Aaron Paul is just a great actor period.
Plus.. I'll probably be Todd in 5 years, xD
Playing video games, sleeping on couches... Selling drugs.
It'll be the best life ever :)
Anyway.. Still nothing to say.
But I'll keep watching.. This one was somewhat of an approvement over the other ones.
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Well.. I honestly don't have anything to say this time.
This montrer is starting to give me that "numb feelings" toi get from watching Hellsing Ultimate..
Guess I should get use to that.
Wind says this is WORSE than Hellsing, in that sense.
Especially since Hellsing probably isn't meant to be taken THAT seriously.
It's basic "shoot em up" series.
But with scary as shit moments mixed among it.
This montrer seems plus subtle, and smarter..
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This montrer is starting to give me that "numb feelings" toi get from watching Hellsing Ultimate..
Guess I should get use to that.
Wind says this is WORSE than Hellsing, in that sense.
Especially since Hellsing probably isn't meant to be taken THAT seriously.
It's basic "shoot em up" series.
But with scary as shit moments mixed among it.
This montrer seems plus subtle, and smarter..
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#1: HARRY POTTER SPOOF:
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..
#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most populaire story.
And not even my best work. It's just me montrer off my l’amour of Spike at the time, and montrer SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..
#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..
#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..
#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
It's poorly edited. Rushed.
And.. I could of done better..
Oh well..
#2: I WAS HERE FIRST:
My first ever MLP story.
I still like it.
But it's very over rated.
Currently my most populaire story.
And not even my best work. It's just me montrer off my l’amour of Spike at the time, and montrer SpikeXRarity, a ship I don't even like all that much..
And, I only made the sequel to shut up that one guy..
#3: UNLIKELY HEROS:
My A&O days.
I didn't want to make it. But I was kinda forced into it.
I kinda rushed it.
And my ending was stupid..
#4: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN SPOOF:
I was still exploring my skills.
It kinda sucks..
#5: WHAT IF STORY:
Yet another A&O story I was FORCED into.
Same with "Wolves that can sing/rap"..
#1:
"I make films for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
#2:
"I've done plus girls than all of you."
#3:
“Are toi chewing gum? toi can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing toi can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"
#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only Jésus thing-a-ma-jig!”
#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”
#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
"I make films for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime."
#2:
"I've done plus girls than all of you."
#3:
“Are toi chewing gum? toi can not chew gum! It’s the most unsexy thing toi can do when you’re trying to do sexy shit!"
#4:
“Hey watch that light, thats our only Jésus thing-a-ma-jig!”
#5:
“Give me something to wipe the air with.”
#6:
"The guy is a fucking idiot, making threats to me, Clooney, Eli Roth, says he has a doctorate—but uses the word "retard" in his vocabulary, come on/"
Farcry 3 should be a movie.
I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.
But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.
Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.
But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..
This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
I never actually played the actual game.
The way I do it. It pretty much IS a movie. I watch all the cutscenes of every character.
But this movie would really need GOOD actors for not only Vass, but ALL 3 of the villains.
Vaas, Hoyt, and Buck. They're all scary in their own way. And they are, in my opinion, the greatest villains I ever seen in a video game.
But hey, Jason would also need a really good actor.
He slowly loses his mind, but yet, he's still the GOOD guy..
This game is actually SCARY. It would probably be a horror movie.
But hey.. I myself would watch it.
#1: THEY HAVE OUR BACK:
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..
#2: BANDS:
They have Metallica and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..
#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..
#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..
#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..
#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest Youtube guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..
#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..
#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..
#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.
#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..
If anybody attacks Canada. We can take peace in knowing that America will come and kick their ass.
Same with Canada to America. Though OUR military isn't quite as good..
#2: BANDS:
They have Metallica and all them..
We have Justin Bieber..
#3: I LIKE THEIR FLAG:
Certainly better then a leaf..
#4: AMC:
Walking dead, and Breaking Bad are both American shows. And the GREATEST shows..
#5: FLORIDA:
We go their EVERY year..
#6: THEY HAVE JIMMY TATRO:
Funniest Youtube guy I could of think of.
And is now a movie star..
#7: THEY HAVE WILL FARREL:
Who cares how mean he probably is.
He's hilarious..
#8: BAND OF BROTHERS:
It's about the AMERICAN army.
ALL the good ones are. Like Saving Private Ryan. And Fury..
#9: CANADA HAS NO COME BACKS:
America labels us all these things.
We never have anything smart enough to say back.
#10: BETTER LAW SYSTEM:
Canada has NO justice..