par Rita Skeeter
Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange
Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s plus to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!
RS: Hello!
BL: *growls*
RS: Do toi mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?
BL: What’s that?
*fingers wand handle threateningly*
RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call toi Bella?
BL: No.
RS: How would toi describe your relationship with the man known as Lord Voldemort
*Bellatrix turns pink, then regains composture*
BL: I am his most loyal follower! I, who spent years in Azkaban for him!
RS: Riiiiight, I’m sure that was a real big help, now-
*Bellatrix reaches for wand again*
BL: Do toi doubt me, toi FILTHY HALF-BLOOD!
RS: uh, no, of course not, now, what would toi say is your favori spell?
BL: CRUCIO!! Would toi like a demonstration?
*Bellatrix laughs evilly and reaches for wand again*
RS: No need for that, now, er, why do toi like it so much?
BL: It’s so much fun to cause innocent people pain! HAHAHA! And I give filthy mudbloods and half-bloods what they deserve. *cackles evilly* I also like Avada Kedavra, but not as much since it doesn’t actually cause people insufferable pain, *Cackles again*.
RS: *uncomfortably* Right, er, moving on, how do toi feel before going out on missions for the Dark Lord? Uncomfortable? Excited? Guilty?
*Bellatrix leans vers l'avant, vers l’avant and looks at my écriture pad*
BL: I CAN be nice! Like if someone begs me to kill them it’s not like I ignore that altogether reasonable request!
RS: Okay, moving on again, what are your main goals in life?
BL: To torture as many innocent people as possible, especially filthy mudbloods, kill muggles, do the Dark Lords bidding, make out with the Dark Lor-er, nothing
*Bellatrix turns pink*
RS: Mmmhmm, very interesting, now, how do toi feel about the way J.K. Rowling has written about toi in the Harry Potter Books? Do toi feel she has done toi justice?
BL: I HATE THE STUPID TITLE! The series should be called something plus like “The Dark Lords quest for blood purification and the filthy half-blood idiot who stood in his way and eventually died a painful death”
RS: Hmmm, and how do toi feel about your death at the hands of Molly Weasley?
BL: DO NOT SPEAK OF IT! THAT STUPID HALF-BLOOD-FILTHY-BLOOD-TRAITOR-FAT-UNTALENTED-SEVEN-KIDS-UGLY-HOUSEWITCH DID NOT DESERVE TO KILL ME! THE DARK LORD MOST LOYAL FOLLOWER! I COULD DEFEAT HER WITH MY WAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK! I WILL HAVE JUSTICE!! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!
*As I was running for my life, I was forced to conclude my highly informative interview with Bellatrix Lestrange*
1.call people that hate bellatrix mudbloods
2.die your hair black
3.get a dark mark.
4.if someone threatens toi put your finger to your dark mark.
5.ask aléatoire people about voldermorts whereabouts
6.practise cackeling like her
ways to annoy her
1.you say toi know where voldermort is and when she asks say some where in the world.
2.stick pics of muggles over her cell in azkaban
3.while she sleeps put potter approved on her forehead.
4.tell her youve been inside her valt in gringotts.
5.say to her voldermort has a plus loyal deatheater than her .
6.always bring up the subjuect about Tonks marrieing lupin.
2.die your hair black
3.get a dark mark.
4.if someone threatens toi put your finger to your dark mark.
5.ask aléatoire people about voldermorts whereabouts
6.practise cackeling like her
ways to annoy her
1.you say toi know where voldermort is and when she asks say some where in the world.
2.stick pics of muggles over her cell in azkaban
3.while she sleeps put potter approved on her forehead.
4.tell her youve been inside her valt in gringotts.
5.say to her voldermort has a plus loyal deatheater than her .
6.always bring up the subjuect about Tonks marrieing lupin.
