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Severing relationship with my father even though he has financial authority over me?

I am 21 years old and just graduated from college. Long story short, my dad, while he loves me, is extremely controlling, condescending and emotionally manipulative. He completely changed 4 years il y a after moving in with my stepmom (and is in denial about it), and every time I ou someone else has tried to talk to him, he gets furious, ou just devalues what we say and nothing changes. He has had financial authority over me all this time, and any time I say ou do something that displeases him in the slightest (things that wouldn't even matter to a normal person), he goes ballistic and threatens to cut off all my funding, and takes me on guilt trips and makes me feel like a terrible person ("Do toi have any idea how hard I work to provide for toi all? This is the thanks I get for all I've done for you?" etc). My anxiety levels have been killing me because of him. He puts ridiculous rules in place like forcing me to call every night since I live in a different city otherwise he shuts my phone off, I have to get permission to do certain things despite being an adult, etc.
All this time I've just had to go along with it in order to survive and not end up on the streets. However, now that I've graduated, he has less control over my finances. I can afford housing and basic bills with the job I have, and if I had to pay my phone bill I could manage. He's mad at me once again right now because I went to my hometown to pick things up from my mom's house without his permission, and I'm at the point where I literally can't take it anymore and want to just call him and end the relationship. However, I know that in doing so I'll also have to find my own health insurance and I'm worried I won't get approved for anything ou be able to afford it. I'm also worried that he might somehow have authority over something else that I'm not aware of.
Even if all goes okay in practical terms and if I don't have much to lose, he still has a way of making people terrified of him and in seemin
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(Cont.) seeming all wise, like he's always right in arguments (and is extremely convincing, as he is a very intelligent person). It could also mean he prevents me from having relationships with my siblings. I've been écriture out scripts and rehearsing everything in my head, but can't work up the courage to actually do it. Sorry this was so long, but I really need some advice.
xWiildfiire posted il y a plus d’un an
 xWiildfiire posted il y a plus d’un an
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sarabeara said:
I'm sorry you're going through this, bb :/ It sounds like a horrible situation where you're sort of trapped, and I can't even imagine how much you've been through over the years.

With that being said, I wouldn't sever ties with him just yet. If toi need him for his health insurance and other finances, that's quite a big deal still. Life can change in an instant, and not having health insurance could leave toi in crazy amounts of debt if anything went wrong. I'd say not to cut ties until toi get a job that provides health insurance. And the seconde toi do, get that toxic man out of your life and talk to your estranged siblings.

I realize this might not be the conseil toi want, and were hoping for a "be independent!" answer, but leaving the nest before you're financially capable just doesn't seem like the smart thing to do. However, if it comes to the point where toi just can't take it anymore, I wouldn't blame toi one bit for cutting him out. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

If toi ever need someone to rant ou to talk to, I'm always here. And I really mean that. I'm always here to listen. :) Wishing toi all the luck and sending good vibes your way!
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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Thanks so much for your response :) I think if need be I should be able to afford a super cheap plan like AHCCCS, assuming I get approved. But toi make a good point and so that's why it's a tough decision. I'd l’amour to talk to my siblings honestly about it, but I feel that par now he's warped their thinking so much so they're on his side :/
xWiildfiire posted il y a plus d’un an
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Yeah, if it's not sûr, sans danger to talk to your siblings without it getting back to your dad, definitely wait until you're free from his control to do so.
sarabeara posted il y a plus d’un an
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