ZAYN MALIK'S EDGY TWEETS: WHAT THEY SAY VS. WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 

11 celeb names you\'re probably pronouncing wrong

Liam Payne laughs off claims he \'shoved\' Louis...

Zayn Malik\'s edgy tweets: what they say vs. what...

There\'s a brand new Pretty Little Liars intro for...

After years of somewhat half-assed tweeting, Zayn Malik has come into his own on Twitter just lately.

Now that he\'s quit One Direction and is working on that edgy new image of his, he seems to have finally found his voice and is always giving those phalanges a workout, which is great news for all of us. Or at least it

be good news for all of us if his tweets made even 35% sense.

Frankly these days the only time we actually have much of an idea what he\'s going on about on his Twitter is when he\'s sassing someone. So if you too are as bamboozled by his cryptic tweets as we are, we present to you a formal translation to help you on your way.

Introducing Zayn Malik\'s tweets: what they say vs. what they really mean.

What it really means: "I don\'t want you all to know just yet, but I\'m not actually working on solo music at all. Instead I\'m actually currently halfway through the auditioning process for

2016 series. Today I baked a cheese and ham quiche and I\'m just in the tend waiting for Paul Hollywood\'s verdict on my soggy bottom."

What it says: "I do\'t want you to wait for me, I\'m not coming home"

What it really means: "Sorry mum, I missed the last bus and Naughty Boy said I could stay round his on his sofa bed. Yes, he checked with his mum and yes, it\'s totally fine."

What it really means: "Please send help. My cheekbones are so sharp that I accidentally just cut my own elbow on them and now I\'m bleeding profusely onto my white shag carpet."

What it says: "It\'s embarrassing when your have no originality ... people lack this frequently ..why copy ?"

What it really means: "Sometimes it makes me feel sad and angry inside when I think about the fact that McDonald\'s are yet to release a burger tribute to Justin Bieber. He\'s such a musical great that it seems callous to stick with the same old cheeseburgers and not honour him with a beef, cheese and tomato concoction shaped like his abs."

What it really means: "The letter \'G\' is my favourite of all of the letters. I like spelling words that begin with \'G\'. My top four in no particular are gnome, gondola, grape and gestate."

What it really means: "I\'m trying to think of a way to make a mosquito bite sound hipster"

What it really means: "If I do a swear maybe people will think I\'m out living it large when I\'ve actually spent the last three days in a onesie on the sofa watching reruns of

What it really means: "Have you ever been on entertainment website Sugarscape.com? It\'s amazing. I basically can\'t get out of bed in the morning without reading the latest updates on One Direction, Pretty Little Liars and more of my favourites. If you don\'t love it as much as I do I\'m not sure we can be friends."

So as you can see, those all seem 100% legit, are we right?

Thoughts on a postcard or alternatively drop us a tweet to @Sugarscape please.

Liam Payne reveals the real reason 1D are taking a break

Harry Styles pretends to be pregnant and more best bits from 1D\'s Manchester OTRA shows

Quiz: Which sassy One Direction slay are you?

Neelam Gill reveals awful racist abuse over Zayn...

Are Zayn Malik and Carlyn Bryan taking it to the...

Zayn Malik to make solo debut at the 2015 MOBO...

There\'s photographic proof that Zayn Malik knew Carlyn Bryan in September LAST year

Apparently Louis Tomlinson wants to be in LA \'as much as he can\' to support Briana Jungwirth and their baby

Harry Styles surprises fan with a diamond necklace at Rays of Sunshine event

You need to see what X Factor\'s Leon Jackson looks like now