This is just a little beginning part of a story I've been working on for at least a month.
I can't remember when I started working on this.
I'm going to try to write the rest of this and get it published someday.
This would be chapter one.
Please review.
Feedback 'feeds the writer'.
This would take place in a capitol village of a country named Merdonpoli.
It's a fantaisie place where there are magical creatures, kings, queens, etc.
Enjoy.
Drew wasn’t a complainer. He prided himself on accepting whatever he could, and living on. But even so, this was a very small meal. Drew sighed as he emptied his small nourriture bag. A piece of pain and a fig. Since the war had started in his country, everyone’s nourriture was limited.
He looked around his starch kitchen. His cabinets, table, and chair were all made of a rotten looking ebony wood. He guessed it would all look better once he got a couple lights in here, ou opened the window.
He picked up the pain and broke it. Pulling out a knife, he got up and opened one of his cupboards and look through it for some butter. He was out. Again. He guessed he would just have to eat his pain plain. Again.
He sat back down to continue his dinner, when a knock came to his door. Sighing and staring at his nourriture for one seconde longer, he stood up and walked down the long, narrow passage from his cuisine to the door. His accueil was barely lit, making it hard for him to look through the peephole out into the bright, empty dirt road outside his hovel of a house. A short cloaked figure stood on his doorway. par the outlines of the black cloth, he could tell that this mystery person was a she.
“Who is it?” Drew asked nonchalantly through the door. Drew had become weary of people since the start of the war.
“Child, it is Madame Corliss. I must speak with you.” She said. Drew rolled his eyes. Madame Corliss is the local fortune teller. She had been Friends with Drew’s mother. And because of that, Corliss thought that she could drop in on Drew anytime she wanted. And it was true. He undid all five locks on his door, and slid the door open for the frail old woman.
“May I have some tea, child?” that was another annoying thing about the woman; however old Drew was, she always called him ‘child’, “I have something very important to tell you, let’s take this to the kitchen, shall we?” and with that, the small old lady led him to the kitchen.
She sat down at the table, and watched as Drew set about making her tea. “Make sure it’s not too hot! And don’t put too much sweetener in it.” She commanded to Drew’s irritation.
“So, Madame Corliss, what brings toi here today?” Drew asked, forcing his voice to sound polite, instead of irritated. It didn’t convince her.
“You know, toi really should learn to respect your elders, child.” If Drew was irritated before, he didn’t know how to explain what he felt now. He finished up making the thé and sat down across from the old lady and passed her the tea. She nodded and took it.
“You know, your parents would be very proud to see toi now.” The woman started. Oh brother, another lecture about how ‘my parents’ deaths weren’t my fault. I never even thought that they were my fault until she a dit they weren’t. For a fortune teller and such, she wasn’t the brightest person Drew had ever met.
“I know, Madame Corliss, you’ve already told me. That happened almost fifteen years ago. I’m nineteen! toi don’t need to tell me, again. I know it wasn’t my fault. I know. toi can leave me alone now.” Drew said, now thoroughly annoyed par the old lady now.
“That’s not why I’m here. Now be quiet and let me talk.” She snapped. “You are very much like them. toi have your mother’s eyes,” she said, referring to his light brown eyes, “and your father’s hair, and face.” She softly ran a frail old hand through Drew’s long, curly black hair. He backed away from the table, tableau a bit more, so as to be out of the woman’s reach. “Unfortunately, toi don’t have either of their smarts.” She a dit harshly.
Drew’s jaw dropped, how would this old lady have the nerve to say that to him? This lady was way out of her place. No one a dit that to him! Apparently, the woman didn’t notice ou care about his shock, and continued to talk.
“Drew, toi are not meant for the life toi lead now. toi are a born leader. Your uncle can not pretend he is your father forever.”
“Well, he’s doing a pretty good job of it, if toi ask me. He is leading us through this war fearlessly, he is a tactical genius. toi should really just leave this topic alone.” Drew a dit disapprovingly.
“You can say that again. How do toi know that he is not the one who started the war? How do toi know that he isn’t the one who killed your parents? Ever since he was a small child, he was very greedy, and jealous of your father. He could very easily have hired a few Dezarnian mercenaries to kill your father. Then, blame the Dezarnian government for their murder, and attacked their capitol, trying to cover up the fact that he was behind it. And then, conveniently, while on the way to Meadonia to ask the princess for her hand, your brother was killed? And your uncle took custody of you, and put toi in the army, so as to possibly kill you, but at least keep toi under his watchful eye. Drew, listen, it is not sûr, sans danger for toi here in Merdonpoli anymore. toi must travel to Dragomria. I am going there this week, if toi want to come” She was cut off par an enraged Drew.
“My uncle wouldn’t do anything like that, he loves his country, and his brother. toi are just a crazy old witch toi know nothing. Get out. Now.” The old lady became very solemn.
“Very well.” And with that, she disappeared, right into thin air. Drew was too angry to care, though it was a bit shocking.
Drew sat back down and continued to eat his ‘dinner’. He kept thinking about what the fortune teller had told him, becoming plus irate at each turn of his thoughts. But then again, rethinking all that Madame Corliss had made sense, in the most nonsensical way. How could someone turn on their brother, let alone kill him? That just doesn’t make sense! Then again, he didn’t seem too sad at his father’s funeral. He just a dit how the country ‘had Lost a great leader’, and announced that, until Drew’s older brother married, he would act as king, and that his first action as ‘king’, he would launch an attack on the homeland of the the assassins who killed his brother, which would be Dezarnia. A mois later, Drew’s brother went missing, and assumed dead. Nothing Madame Corliss a dit usually made perfect sense, though she usually spoke the truth. Even so, Drew chose to ignore her, and his conscience.
Like it? l’amour it? Wanna hit it with a shoe?
REVIEW!
I can't remember when I started working on this.
I'm going to try to write the rest of this and get it published someday.
This would be chapter one.
Please review.
Feedback 'feeds the writer'.
This would take place in a capitol village of a country named Merdonpoli.
It's a fantaisie place where there are magical creatures, kings, queens, etc.
Enjoy.
Drew wasn’t a complainer. He prided himself on accepting whatever he could, and living on. But even so, this was a very small meal. Drew sighed as he emptied his small nourriture bag. A piece of pain and a fig. Since the war had started in his country, everyone’s nourriture was limited.
He looked around his starch kitchen. His cabinets, table, and chair were all made of a rotten looking ebony wood. He guessed it would all look better once he got a couple lights in here, ou opened the window.
He picked up the pain and broke it. Pulling out a knife, he got up and opened one of his cupboards and look through it for some butter. He was out. Again. He guessed he would just have to eat his pain plain. Again.
He sat back down to continue his dinner, when a knock came to his door. Sighing and staring at his nourriture for one seconde longer, he stood up and walked down the long, narrow passage from his cuisine to the door. His accueil was barely lit, making it hard for him to look through the peephole out into the bright, empty dirt road outside his hovel of a house. A short cloaked figure stood on his doorway. par the outlines of the black cloth, he could tell that this mystery person was a she.
“Who is it?” Drew asked nonchalantly through the door. Drew had become weary of people since the start of the war.
“Child, it is Madame Corliss. I must speak with you.” She said. Drew rolled his eyes. Madame Corliss is the local fortune teller. She had been Friends with Drew’s mother. And because of that, Corliss thought that she could drop in on Drew anytime she wanted. And it was true. He undid all five locks on his door, and slid the door open for the frail old woman.
“May I have some tea, child?” that was another annoying thing about the woman; however old Drew was, she always called him ‘child’, “I have something very important to tell you, let’s take this to the kitchen, shall we?” and with that, the small old lady led him to the kitchen.
She sat down at the table, and watched as Drew set about making her tea. “Make sure it’s not too hot! And don’t put too much sweetener in it.” She commanded to Drew’s irritation.
“So, Madame Corliss, what brings toi here today?” Drew asked, forcing his voice to sound polite, instead of irritated. It didn’t convince her.
“You know, toi really should learn to respect your elders, child.” If Drew was irritated before, he didn’t know how to explain what he felt now. He finished up making the thé and sat down across from the old lady and passed her the tea. She nodded and took it.
“You know, your parents would be very proud to see toi now.” The woman started. Oh brother, another lecture about how ‘my parents’ deaths weren’t my fault. I never even thought that they were my fault until she a dit they weren’t. For a fortune teller and such, she wasn’t the brightest person Drew had ever met.
“I know, Madame Corliss, you’ve already told me. That happened almost fifteen years ago. I’m nineteen! toi don’t need to tell me, again. I know it wasn’t my fault. I know. toi can leave me alone now.” Drew said, now thoroughly annoyed par the old lady now.
“That’s not why I’m here. Now be quiet and let me talk.” She snapped. “You are very much like them. toi have your mother’s eyes,” she said, referring to his light brown eyes, “and your father’s hair, and face.” She softly ran a frail old hand through Drew’s long, curly black hair. He backed away from the table, tableau a bit more, so as to be out of the woman’s reach. “Unfortunately, toi don’t have either of their smarts.” She a dit harshly.
Drew’s jaw dropped, how would this old lady have the nerve to say that to him? This lady was way out of her place. No one a dit that to him! Apparently, the woman didn’t notice ou care about his shock, and continued to talk.
“Drew, toi are not meant for the life toi lead now. toi are a born leader. Your uncle can not pretend he is your father forever.”
“Well, he’s doing a pretty good job of it, if toi ask me. He is leading us through this war fearlessly, he is a tactical genius. toi should really just leave this topic alone.” Drew a dit disapprovingly.
“You can say that again. How do toi know that he is not the one who started the war? How do toi know that he isn’t the one who killed your parents? Ever since he was a small child, he was very greedy, and jealous of your father. He could very easily have hired a few Dezarnian mercenaries to kill your father. Then, blame the Dezarnian government for their murder, and attacked their capitol, trying to cover up the fact that he was behind it. And then, conveniently, while on the way to Meadonia to ask the princess for her hand, your brother was killed? And your uncle took custody of you, and put toi in the army, so as to possibly kill you, but at least keep toi under his watchful eye. Drew, listen, it is not sûr, sans danger for toi here in Merdonpoli anymore. toi must travel to Dragomria. I am going there this week, if toi want to come” She was cut off par an enraged Drew.
“My uncle wouldn’t do anything like that, he loves his country, and his brother. toi are just a crazy old witch toi know nothing. Get out. Now.” The old lady became very solemn.
“Very well.” And with that, she disappeared, right into thin air. Drew was too angry to care, though it was a bit shocking.
Drew sat back down and continued to eat his ‘dinner’. He kept thinking about what the fortune teller had told him, becoming plus irate at each turn of his thoughts. But then again, rethinking all that Madame Corliss had made sense, in the most nonsensical way. How could someone turn on their brother, let alone kill him? That just doesn’t make sense! Then again, he didn’t seem too sad at his father’s funeral. He just a dit how the country ‘had Lost a great leader’, and announced that, until Drew’s older brother married, he would act as king, and that his first action as ‘king’, he would launch an attack on the homeland of the the assassins who killed his brother, which would be Dezarnia. A mois later, Drew’s brother went missing, and assumed dead. Nothing Madame Corliss a dit usually made perfect sense, though she usually spoke the truth. Even so, Drew chose to ignore her, and his conscience.
Like it? l’amour it? Wanna hit it with a shoe?
REVIEW!
Class ended. As I walked out of the classroom, I still felt sick. I went to my locker and put my stuff away. As I turned around, two tall 11th graders stood in front of me. One of them a dit "Let's play a game! Its called 'Bully The New Girl'!" My cœur, coeur trembled with fear. My hands glowed a little black. I quietly a dit "Go away. toi do not want me to hurt you." I guess one heard me, he a dit "Ohh! Im so scared! Heh, now, no plus stalling!" Just he was about to coup de poing me, Bruno grabbed his hand. And a dit fiercely " Do not hurt her. ou I will hurt you!" Bruno squeezed his hand. The boy screamed loudly. Everyone looked at him. And the two boys ran away with fear. I a dit " Bruno! How did toi do that?" The voice screamed in my head, "He's the one, he's the helper" and he replied "Uhhhhh. I know karate?" I laughed nicely. He smiled warmly. Then a dit "Ugh, I think I'm gonna puke!" He took me to the girl's bathroom and ran upstairs to get back to class.
The words made my breath fall short in my throat, a small whimpering sound went up through my chest. I slowly rose my watch, exactly the time I was to be doomed. The part of the mur carrying the dread words burst open and rats started to crawl in, immediatly gnawing at my flesh, I tried to back away, but the part i had opened up suddenly closes and i was trapped in darkness, I was trapped, I was trapped with no hope off escape and a thousand beady eyes crawling all over my body, wrigglin down my chest and making their way towards my heart. I spun and rolled around as much as I could in the small space, but the rats were persistent, and my blood trickeld all around me, forming in a pool under me. After a while a finally gave up. For all I had done i was payed with my own dead, locked in a narrow passage with rats all around me, the last living things i would ever interact with. I began to sob softly and my final breath flew from my body, I was a limp, lifeless corpse.....
hi to anyone who is lire this now. my name is lauren and i am currently only 14. i l’amour to write and read, but im finding it hard to come up with ideas. i was hoping that some people could give me ideas on what kind of stories they like and a basic plot and i could expand on the idea. if i did write one i would post it on here, par chapter and toi would get half of the credit, lol. of course if toi would want me to help write toi write it instead of me ou toi would want to help me write it, around your idea, i would be fine with that. i really would appreciate any ideas i have a few but im not sure if toi guys would read it, i need opinions from anyone. thanks.
A place I once trusted
A place I once believed in
A place I once loved
A place I once missed
Is coved under a mascarade
Of misery and pain
The blue in the sky is now a shade
I feel like all this time was a game
A game of sham
A game of backstabbing
A game of war
A game of fate
I feel trapped in a box
Crammed in and lonely
With nothing but locks
With no key so that it can hold me
A box of lies
A box of fear
A box of loneliness
A box of weakness
I always have a word on mind
Just a few words long
To me it seems so thoughtful and kind
To me free it isn't a dance ou song
Free as the wind
Free as a bird
Free as an Angel
Free as a shooting étoile, star
The feeling will come to me
But not right now
I hope my soul can soon be free
So then I can take my final bow
A place I once believed in
A place I once loved
A place I once missed
Is coved under a mascarade
Of misery and pain
The blue in the sky is now a shade
I feel like all this time was a game
A game of sham
A game of backstabbing
A game of war
A game of fate
I feel trapped in a box
Crammed in and lonely
With nothing but locks
With no key so that it can hold me
A box of lies
A box of fear
A box of loneliness
A box of weakness
I always have a word on mind
Just a few words long
To me it seems so thoughtful and kind
To me free it isn't a dance ou song
Free as the wind
Free as a bird
Free as an Angel
Free as a shooting étoile, star
The feeling will come to me
But not right now
I hope my soul can soon be free
So then I can take my final bow