I guess with me that day, I should have learned not to expect what was coming. I woke up, my side hurting like hell, but I was better. I was still lying on the stretcher, and the combination of dried blood on it and the smell of the dried blood made me feel the need to vomit. Looking up, I saw white ceiling tiles. I also saw two cold metal objects pushed into either side of my temple: guns.
    I sat up in shock and confusion and was pushed down par two people; one with spiky hair and the other looked like a mouse. Oh yeah, David and Mike. It was all coming back to me: getting shot, the ambulance, the woman, the man, the S.W.A.T. team, Mr. Hanson, the man in a suit. I put a hand on my throbbing head. aléatoire names swirled around in my head. Faintly, I heard people talking.
    “Hello? People? Can I get a chair ou something? This dried blood does not smell good,” I remarked loudly. People always get on to me about how loud I was. A chair screeched and a man stood up. He was the man with the twin. He had a large rose scar tracing his left eyebrow, making it look like he had a long, rose eyebrow in addition to his regular brown one.
    The man pulled a chair suivant to the stretcher. Mike slowly lifted me from the stretcher and into the chair; the whole time David pressed the pistolets into my temple. The man, Tony, I think, pushed me in the chair back to the table. Mike pulled out a gun himself and aimed it towards my head. I was sitting suivant to the woman, Lori? Tony was sitting on Lori’s left, and the S.W.A.T. man was sitting on Tony’s left. The man in the suit, Vladimir Something, was sitting across from the group, glaring at them with squinty brown eyes.
    I looked closer at Vladimir’s nametag. ‘What a funny name,’ I thought to myself, trying to read his last name. Vladimir Shitface. ‘Even better.’
     “What the hell happened out there?” Vladimir asked, smacking a fist down on the metal table. The group stared dully back at him for a couple of seconds. Finally Lori spoke,
    “I was listening to the dispatcher from my car-,”
    “May I remind you, Lori Vandana, that toi were suspended from this case until further notice?” Vladimir coldly interrupted.
    “Yes sir I know-,”
    “So what were toi doing there? toi screwed up a police investigation!” He smacked his hand against the table, tableau again.
    “After I was suspended, I got a unanimous call saying that a girl would be shot at Unity Middle School, and that Mike Peachson and David Tosdon would be tending to her wounds. I knew that the two were medical frauds. I didn’t know if the call was legitimate, so I went to Unity to check it out just in case. There was an ambulance there, so I peeked inside, and Mike and David were there. I was going to arrest them when a man showed up, claiming he was police and that I should drop my weapon and give it to him,” Lori reported.
    “You mean Tony Holdom showed up and demanded toi give your gun to him?” Vladimir questioned.
    “It wasn’t Tony, this man didn’t have Tony’s scar,” Tony winced at the statement, turning his head away in shame. I wondered what happened to him.
    “So what did toi do with your gun?”
    “I didn’t have it. The band director-,”
    “Mr. Hanson,” I cut it.
    “Mr. Hanson took the gun. toi see, Mike was running away, and I shot at him because I couldn’t catch him, but I missed. Mr. Hanson took the gun and shot. It hit Mike in the shoulder.” Lori looked away, obviously waiting for Vladimir to explode. He did.
    “You let a civilian handle a gun?!? toi let him shoot it?!? He shot a man Vandana! You’ll be prosecuted just as must as he will!!” A glob of spit shot out from his mouth and landed on the table, tableau just in front of me. I snorted and bit my lip. Vladimir looked at me, and my smile instantly vanished. I frowned, thinking about sad things. He turned back to Lori.
    “Shitface,” I muttered under my breath. Vladimir turned back to me.
    “What the hell are toi whispering about?” He asked. I winced away, an amused look on my face.
    “I don’t know. I’m a hostage.” I was about to add, You’re the shitface, but I held back.
    “Damn you,” I laughed at his remark.
    “Right back at you,” I smartly said.
    “Is this dickhead of a girl on anything?” he gestured towards Mike and David.
    “Probably,” they answered in unison. Vladimir shook his head.
    “What about you?” He nodded at Tony.
    “Well,” Tony began, scratching his head, “I was driving around, getting a burger, when I heard the dispatcher going off for a shooting at Unity-,”
    “And toi were fired earlier that day?” Tony nodded; Vladimir shook his head like a principal that had just caught his students smoking weed. “Why the hell were toi in a police car?”
    “I was really hungry, and I figured people wouldn’t get in line if they saw a police officer in front of them,” he quietly replied, and the group snickered quietly while I was shaking with silent laughter. Vladimir glared at me.
    “Anyway, I heard the dispatcher say there was a shooting, so I drove over there, and I saw Lori in the van and a man talking to her. He was Sean McCane, the escaped convict from ’04, so I was about to arrest him but he took off running. Mr. Hansin-,”
    “Hanson,” I interjected again.
    “Mr. Hanson shoot him to the ground with Lori’s gun-,”
    “He shoot two people?!?” I was sure Vladimir was about to stroke.
    “I walked over to Sean, and I arrested him. I walked him back to the ambulance, ‘cause he was shot, when the fucking S.W.A.T. team arrived,” Tony glared at the third man. “They jump out and Mr. Nick Peterson is leading the group of S.W.A.T. that tackled me instead of Sean McCane, the escaped convict!” He glared at Nick.
    “You guys look so alike! How could we tell the difference?” Nick demanded.
    “We tried to tell toi guys!” Lori muttered. “But no! Somehow the convict arrests the police officer. And I’m living in Candyland,” she shook her head.
    “Well sorry!” Nick angrily said, folding his arms over his chest.
    “Sorry’s not good enough! toi let an escaped convict get away in a S.W.A.T. truck! He could be anywhere! Good job,” Tony sighed.
    “You all are a load of digraces. Peterson, why did toi come to Unity?” Vladimir calmly asked; his blood pressure probably lowered.
    “I got a call that Sean McCane was at Unity, so I called in for a team,” Peterson levely replied.
    “Who did toi get the call from?”
    “I gave it. I saw Sean and called in for reinforcements. I didn’t expect to get a truckload of idiots,” Tony had also crossed his hands over his chest.
    There was silence; Tony and Nick were glaring at each other. Mike and David were pressing pistolets into my head, Lori was picking at her cuticles, and Vladimir was thinking hard. I looked at his nametag; it a dit Shiptace, not Shitface. I had a feeling of remorse, but it quickly passed.
    “Mike Peachson, David Tosdon, do toi know anything about Sean McCane?” Vladimir asked.
    “Who do toi think was driving the ambulance?” Mike replied a thin, strained smile on his face.
    “Would toi be willing to work with the FBI, S.W.A.T. team, and the police? We could give toi money in exchange for the girl and some information.” Vladimir bargained.
    “Money for the information ou the girl, not both, your decision.” The group looked at me. Vladimir studied me, thinking to see if I was worth finding an escaped convict.
    “I’ll die,” I offered, and the people gaped at me. “I was kind of suicidal anyway,” They still gaped at me. I blushed. “As long as I can work on the case with them,” I quickly added.
    “Fine,” Vladimir said, but I suspected he had a plan of his own. “Lori Vandana, Tony Holdom, Nick Peterson, Mike Peachson, David Tosdon, and,” he waited for my name.
    “Jude Ashley Hosy,” I lied; my real name was Miranda Davidston.
    “And Jude Ashley Hosy, toi all are assigned the task of finding and arresting Sean McCane.” With that Vladimir walked out of the room, leaving us in silence.
    “So a police officer with identity theft, a S.W.A.T officer with temper issues, a sassy FBI agent, the Brothers Grimm, and a suicidal girl sent on a task to find an insane escaped convict, fun.” I stated as I propped my feet up on the metal table.