Depressing, COMPLETELY FICTIONAL story I wrote.
“My mother ruined my life.” toi hear girls say that all the time. It’s never true. Unless toi ask me. My mother truly ruined my life. Not in the way toi would expect a sixteen an old girl to say that. I genuinely meant it.
I remember sobbing that day. When we got back from the doctor, sobbing my eyes out. I hated her. I hated my mother with a passion.
I looked down at my newly flat stomach. I missed the bump there. The bump that I had indicating an unborn child. The child that I loved and vowed to care for. Until my fucking mother made me lose everything.
I loved my boyfriend. I loved him so much. It was real love, not the l’amour teenagers say they have. We loved each other. When I told him the news, he a dit he would marry me. He promised. He a dit he was thinking about it before I was pregnant, and he was sincere. But my mother had to call and schedule that fucking abortion that ruined everything, dragged me there against my will. My boyfriend heard I was aborting the baby and was so mad at me, but I explained and he believed me. But I wasn’t so sure. Then my mother had to go and tell him to get lost, that she never wanted to see his face again, that she would have my stepfather rip his head off if he ever looked at me again. I saw him the other jour with another girl. He had clearly moved on.
My baby. My baby. My baby. My baby was gone. Dead before he had a chance to live. We were going to name him Caleb. Raise a family. I remember kicking and screaming in my mind at the doctor’s office, but on the outside I was too scared to do anything. God how I regret not doing anything. But it was too late now.
I remember the silent tears that fell in the waiting room. “Mom, I don’t want to do this.”
“Don’t worry, it will only hurt a little. Then it will be over.”
“No, I mean, I don’t want to go through with this. I want to keep the baby.”
She smacked me. “No. I am not letting my daughter ruin her life like that.”
plus tears fell. The doctor called my name.
I started sobbing. But I couldn’t say anything, my mother would kill me. I had to do this, is what I thought. But deep down I knew I had a choice. Too bad I didn’t go for it.
After that I threw a huge fit at home. I broke a vase, screaming at my mom. How she wouldn’t do this to her own child. That was when she told me about my sister.
When I was six, she was pregnant. She couldn’t stand the thought of another child to put up with, another burden. So she basically murdered it. She had no emotions about it, she didn’t care. That must have been why my real father left. Because my mother was cruel.
It’s been six years. I’m twenty two now. I sit on my bed, blinking back tears, remembering. I was in a car crash a an ago, I was lucky I survived. But somehow I had Lost the ability to have children. I would have one now, if my mother hadn’t ruined it. But now I couldn’t. All my life I dreamed of having a child, one that I could l’amour and care for, one that was mine. I don’t like adoption, I don’t like knowing I had some stranger’s child. No one wanted me, a girl who couldn’t have kids. Except maybe skeezy weirdoes who just wanted to fuck me and disappear. My life is officially ruined. Thanks to my mother.
“My mother ruined my life.” toi hear girls say that all the time. It’s never true. Unless toi ask me. My mother truly ruined my life. Not in the way toi would expect a sixteen an old girl to say that. I genuinely meant it.
I remember sobbing that day. When we got back from the doctor, sobbing my eyes out. I hated her. I hated my mother with a passion.
I looked down at my newly flat stomach. I missed the bump there. The bump that I had indicating an unborn child. The child that I loved and vowed to care for. Until my fucking mother made me lose everything.
I loved my boyfriend. I loved him so much. It was real love, not the l’amour teenagers say they have. We loved each other. When I told him the news, he a dit he would marry me. He promised. He a dit he was thinking about it before I was pregnant, and he was sincere. But my mother had to call and schedule that fucking abortion that ruined everything, dragged me there against my will. My boyfriend heard I was aborting the baby and was so mad at me, but I explained and he believed me. But I wasn’t so sure. Then my mother had to go and tell him to get lost, that she never wanted to see his face again, that she would have my stepfather rip his head off if he ever looked at me again. I saw him the other jour with another girl. He had clearly moved on.
My baby. My baby. My baby. My baby was gone. Dead before he had a chance to live. We were going to name him Caleb. Raise a family. I remember kicking and screaming in my mind at the doctor’s office, but on the outside I was too scared to do anything. God how I regret not doing anything. But it was too late now.
I remember the silent tears that fell in the waiting room. “Mom, I don’t want to do this.”
“Don’t worry, it will only hurt a little. Then it will be over.”
“No, I mean, I don’t want to go through with this. I want to keep the baby.”
She smacked me. “No. I am not letting my daughter ruin her life like that.”
plus tears fell. The doctor called my name.
I started sobbing. But I couldn’t say anything, my mother would kill me. I had to do this, is what I thought. But deep down I knew I had a choice. Too bad I didn’t go for it.
After that I threw a huge fit at home. I broke a vase, screaming at my mom. How she wouldn’t do this to her own child. That was when she told me about my sister.
When I was six, she was pregnant. She couldn’t stand the thought of another child to put up with, another burden. So she basically murdered it. She had no emotions about it, she didn’t care. That must have been why my real father left. Because my mother was cruel.
It’s been six years. I’m twenty two now. I sit on my bed, blinking back tears, remembering. I was in a car crash a an ago, I was lucky I survived. But somehow I had Lost the ability to have children. I would have one now, if my mother hadn’t ruined it. But now I couldn’t. All my life I dreamed of having a child, one that I could l’amour and care for, one that was mine. I don’t like adoption, I don’t like knowing I had some stranger’s child. No one wanted me, a girl who couldn’t have kids. Except maybe skeezy weirdoes who just wanted to fuck me and disappear. My life is officially ruined. Thanks to my mother.