“I miss toi already.” Bella whispered.
“I don’t need to leave. I can stay. . .” I don’t want to leave. I want to stay.
I pulled her face to mine and kissed her slowly, carefully. There was nothing in the world compared to the wonderful feeling of her soft, warm lips on mine. The warmth from her lips was spreading through my entire body. She pressed herself closer to me as I ran my fingers through her soft hair. And quite abruptly, she broke off. Of course, she had to breathe, I should allow that.
I stared into her beautiful face as she tried so catch her breath. Her eyes were closed. I listened to her ragged breath and uneven heart, beating louder than ever. It was the most beautiful, most significant sound in the world for me. It was the sole purpose of my existence. Sweeter than any symphony, if I had my way, I would just press my ears to her chest & listen to it forever.
I considered myself the luckiest person in the world, to be holding this Angel in my arms and to think that she was mine… I wonder what I ever did, to deserve my precious Bella. She opened her eyes and our gazes locked for a moment. I l’amour looking into her deep brown, beautiful eyes. I felt I could see all the way into her soul. And as usual, I started wondering what she was thinking.
She pulled my face towards hers.
“Definitely staying,” I murmured after a moment and then pressed my lips to her cheeks.
“No, no. It’s your bachelor party. toi have to go.” But as she a dit that, she tightened her hold on me.
“Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn’t be plus eager to have mine behind me. So there’s really no point.” Except that Emmett and Jasper wouldn’t mind breaking into Bella’s house to take me away.
“True.” She breathed. The feel of her warm breath on my neck was amazing. I inhaled & her scent hit me, stronger than ever. Though the thought of loosing her, had made me completely immune to the addictive scent of her blood, my throat still burnt as bad as the first time I met her. But it hardly mattered. It was nothing, compared to what she was going to do, what she was going to sacrifice, for me.
She ran her warm hand down my chest, tracing patterns on my stomach. I shuddered lightly and kissed her again. Slowly, she let the tip of her tongue press against my lips. So soft… so tempting… I sighed and started to pull away from her. She scowled. She had no idea how difficult it was for me to respond this way when I desperately wanted her to go on. She thought I had some Supernatural self-control. Though, I had tried to explain to her that, it was not the case, she did not seem to register that fact at all.
“Wait,” she said, hugging me closer. She wrapped her leg around my waist. “Practice makes perfect.”
I laughed softly. “Well, we should be fairly close to perfection par this point, then, shouldn’t we? Have toi slept at all in the last month?”
“But this is the dress rehearsal,” she reminded me, “and we’ve only practiced certain scenes. It’s no time for playing safe.”
I froze. Her life was at risk but she didn’t care. Will I ever be able to explain to her exactly what danger I will be putting her through? She was so fragile, so breakable, so delicate…Was she ever going to take this seriously? She was a magnet for danger, magnet for trouble… How else did she end up with the only single vampire in the area?
I had spoken to Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett about our “bargain” as soon as I got back from Charlie’s after announcing our engagement. Alice has spread the news to the whole house par then. Carlisle was elated. Jasper & Emmett were out hunting. I decided to speak to Carlisle before they come back home.
“Congratulations Edward. This is really wonderful.” He thought, as soon as he heard me.
“Carlisle, there’s something I want to ask you” I a dit as I got into his study.
He noticed my hesitation. You look nervous.
“Yes.” I said.
“You can ask me anything, son.” He was worried but curious.
“Bella wants to…I mean we were thinking…” I hesitated.
Does…does she want to become one of us before the marriage?
“No, no! She will be human when I marry her…its not that…she had a condition…we made a bargain…” I couldn’t continue. I was at a total loss of words… I remembered smirking at Bella when Charlie had attempted to do the “sex talk”. I remembered their embarrassment. She had told Charlie that I was "old-fashioned”. I took a deep breath & continued.
“She wants to… consummate our relationship while she’s human.”
He was only mildly surprised. It might be possible, toi know.
“How can it be possible?” I asked desperately. I was putting her in mortal danger. “I will hurt her— “
“You will not, Edward ou maybe… its better to say toi cannot.“
“Of course, toi know that this will be …dangerous for Bella, if… toi loose control. But…” He smiled. “I have complete faith in you.”
“You always trust me plus than I deserve” I muttered.
“Carlisle, she is a human, I don’t know what to expect, how will it be possible—“
“Edward, physical l’amour is a very powerful thing, like…like nothing else. toi should not take it lightly.”
“I don’t take anything lightly when it comes to Bella” I said.
“With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But toi need not worry about this part. Bella has already altered toi so much…almost entirely. toi know it yourself. toi are not the person toi were before toi knew her. toi are much plus human than toi think toi are, son.”
He was right about that. Bella was a turning point in my life. The rare and permanent change which happened to my existence. She was the light, the rising Sun in my life which was a dark, unending, unchanging midnight. Now she had risen completely and made my life bright and warm and beautiful…
“But toi have to be very careful. I am sure if toi exercise some amount of self-control—“
“What if I cannot—“
“I have faith in you, Edward.” He repeated. “You have proved your self-control to all of us.” He smiled thinking about me resisting her blood, saving her from becoming a vampire when James bit her. I shuddered. “I am sure everything will be fine. When toi can resist such potent human blood…I am sure toi can… do nothing wrong.”
I could hear Emmett’s & Jasper’s thoughts now… They must be getting close.
Why isn’t Alice answering her phone…
I better be quick with what I wanted to say. “You know, I was thinking… about the pain I might cause her… do toi think morphine will help?”
“I really don’t think so, Edward” his mind was filled with the disadvantages of morphine…highly addictive, decreases hunger, impairs mental and physical performance, in women it may interfere with the menstrual cycle...
I just nodded. Ok, so I have to depend completely on my way-too-easy-to-waver self-control now. Fantastic.
My brothers were here. End of discussion. I would tell them of course, but I would prefer them, not to overhear my personal conversation. Thank toi very much.
“I’d better tell Emmett and Jasper about the wedding...” and I went downstairs.
Emmett heard this and got very excited. Wedding? Aha! Did we hear right? Are toi getting married? About time! Thats fantastic, Bro!
Jasper was pleased too. Wow, Edward. Congrats!
“Congrats, Edward” a dit Jasper. “We are really happy for you” Alice had called... But we kept our phones in the car as usual...guess she too immeresed in shopping to answer our lines now...
I am sooo ready to welcome a sweet-smelling human in our family.
“Emmett..!!” I growled. Haha Edward, i l’amour my little would-be-sister-in-law too...Don’t toi think the age differnece is a little too much though...around 90 years... maybe its a teeny bit too much...
I growled again and He winked at me. Sorry bro... chill...
They chatted delightedly about it. After sometime, Emmett asked me hesitantly “Edward, if toi marry her, wouldn’t toi want to, well...”
I was glad I did not have to start it. Emmett was not a tactful person. Delicate discussions were not his forte. He and Rosalie shared an intensely physical love. He had a hard time understanding how anyone could l’amour without that aspect.
“I spoke to Carlisle about it” I muttered. I told them what Carlisle said.
“But I am still worried... because i don’t...know what to expect and i dont want to put her in any risk...” But i always end up doing it, of course.
“Ah, my little bro Eddie!” Emmett said. “Sex is something extremely pleasurable. seconde only to drinking human blood.” He too, thought of James, Bella & me. Somebody please supprimer this memory from all their heads! “I am sure everything will work out fine. Better than fine, actually.” He winked.
“Don’t worry, Edward.” a dit Jasper. You’ll be ok
“And Bella has been in much plus dangerous scenarios than this.” Emmett added slyly. This must be a joke for her. She runs around with vampires and werewolves!
Bella hugged me closer.
“Bella…” I whispered.
“Don’t start this again,” she snapped. “A deal’s a deal.”
“I don’t know. It’s too hard to concentrate when you’re with me like this. I—I can’t think straight. I won’t be able to control myself. You’ll get hurt.” I had to make her understand, I couldn’t put her at risk knowingly.
“I’ll be fine.” Why does she always have to be overly optimistic?
“Bella…” I pleaded.
“Shh!” She pressed her lips to mine and I tried to Kiss her back, but couldn’t.
“How are your feet?” I asked.
“Toasty warm.” I realized, too late, that she did not want this. She was doing this just for her parents and friends…and maybe…for me. There was no to her selflessness after all…
“Really? No seconde thoughts? It’s not too late to change your mind.”
“Are toi trying to ditch me?” she accused.
I chuckled. “Just making sure. I don’t want toi to do anything you’re not sure about.”
“I’m sure about you. The rest I can live through.”
“Can you?” I asked her hesitantly. “I don’t mean the wedding—which I am positive toi will survive despite your qualms—but afterward… what about Renée, what about Charlie?”
She sighed. “I’ll miss them.” I knew she would miss them. A lot.
“Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike?” I reminded.
“I’ll miss my friends, too.” She gave me a sly grin. “Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?”
I growled. The old jealousy flared.
She laughed but then a dit seriously “Edward, we’ve been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want toi forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me.”
“Frozen forever at eighteen,” I whispered.
“Every woman’s dream come true,” She joked. She was not taking it seriously enough, I have to explain to her… exactly what she was giving up on.
“Never changing… never moving forward.” I hinted.
“What does that mean?”
“Do toi remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought toi were… pregnant?” I started slowly.
“And he thought about shooting you,” she guessed with a laugh. “Admit it—for one second, he honestly considered it.”
I waited for her to become a little serious. I cannot explain it to her if she wasn’t going to listen.
“I just wish… well, I wish that he’d been right.”
“Gah,” she gasped.
I saw her expression, realized what I just a dit and laughed to myself. “More that there was some way he could have been.” I corrected myself. “That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you, too.”
She thought for a minute. “I know what I’m doing.”
She didn’t. “How could toi know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It’s not as easy a sacrifice as toi imagine.”
“Esme and Rosalie get par just fine. If it’s a problem later, we can do what Esme did—we’ll adopt.”
Will she stop being so selfless, I didn’t not deserve her. I did not deserve any of her sacrifices. I was such a monster to do this to her. I told her fiercely “It’s not right! I don’t want toi to have to make sacrifices for me.” There was no reason for her to do this. None at all. “I want to give toi things, not take things away from you. I don’t want to steal your future.” I wished I was human, I wished there was some way I could become human for her. “If I were human—”
She suddenly put my hand over my lips & I stopped. “You are my future. Now stop. No moping, ou I’m calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe toi need a bachelor party.”
She was right, I was getting married to her tomorrow and here I was explaining to her so late, why she shouldn’t be doing what she was completely decided on. “I’m sorry. I am moping, aren’t I? Must be the nerves.”
“Are your feet cold?”
“Not in that sense. I’ve been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can’t wait—”
“Come on Edward, toi are going to be away from us for weeks starting tomorrow, toi promised toi would go hunting with us tonight” Jasper was thinking.
“Are toi coming out yourself ou should we break in?” Emmett thought.
“Oh, for the l’amour of all that’s holy!” I swore loudly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, startled.
“I promise I will break in, I really will”
“You don’t have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight.”
She hugged me closer for a seconde and then let go.
“Have fun.” She said, half-heartedly.
There was a squeal against the window—Emmett was deliberately scraping his nails across the glass to make a horrible noise and Bella shuddered.
“Stop it, I am coming” I a dit in a low voice to Emmett.
“If toi don’t send Edward out,” Emmett hissed menacingly to Bella, “we’re coming in after him!”
“Go,” She laughed. “Before they break my house.”
Since when did Bella start lire minds?
Jasper was getting impatient too. Edward, toi come on here, now!
I rolled my eyes, got to my leaned down and kissed her forehead.
“Get to sleep. You’ve got a big jour tomorrow.” I was sorry that I had to leave her alone.
“Thanks! That’s sure to help me wind down.”
“I’ll meet toi at the altar.”
“I’ll be the one in white.” She smiled.
I chuckled “Very convincing,”
Don’t be so lovey-dovey, just come out.
I jumped out of the window and landed on Emmett. I pushed him to the ground and punched him as hard as I could.
“You’d better not make him late,” Bella murmured.
“Don’t worry, Bella. We’ll get him accueil in plenty of time.” Jasper told her, calming her down.
“Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You’re not taking him to a strip club, are you?” she accused.
“Don’t tell her anything!” Emmett growled. Let her think that.
I punched him again.
“Relax,” Jasper a dit “We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out.”
“Thanks, Jasper.” She a dit and I heard her get into bed. Good night Bella, I thought. This will be thee last night toi will spend away from me.
Stop feeling so romantic, Edward. toi are getting on my nerves.
“Alice has everything perfectly done, Edward” Emmett a dit happily as we drove up to the mountains.
I know what toi are worrying about Edward Jasper thought as her felt me. Don’t worry, just be careful, there’s nothing to worry about.
“What if I hurt her” I whispered.
“You wont, Carlisle trusts you. We trust you.” a dit Emmett and I nodded as Jasper calmed me down.
“So what first? Grizzlies ou lions?” he asked cheerfully. Come on Edward, don’t be so upset. You’ve bored us with this behavior for quite some time now. toi know everything will work out fine.
Jasper was getting worried. Please, Edward. Calm down. You’ve thought about this so many times. This isn’t the time to change your mind anyway, Bella wouldn’t let you.
Bella definitely wouldn’t let me change her decision at any rate. I decided to keep my worries aside for now, for their sake.
“Lions, of course” I a dit as we got down from the car and started running towards the mountains.