I recently read an post from Twilight widower on Twilight Widowers Anonymous( it's a support site for husbands, boyfriends and life partners of Twilight addicts). It cracked me up and i want to share it with you.
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As toi can imagine, since
the photos of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and toi can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop par the local sporting goods store and brought accueil a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, par way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks il y a I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while il y a over the dîner table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like toi want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. aléatoire gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing toi up for piano lessons ("You a dit toi wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. toi are certain she keeps calling toi par a different name (“No, toi misheard me… I a dit “I l’amour you, onward!”)
6. She makes toi stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting toi come to lit (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages toi at work and toi hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if toi want to read some plus link
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As toi can imagine, since
the photos of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and toi can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop par the local sporting goods store and brought accueil a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, par way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks il y a I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while il y a over the dîner table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like toi want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. aléatoire gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing toi up for piano lessons ("You a dit toi wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. toi are certain she keeps calling toi par a different name (“No, toi misheard me… I a dit “I l’amour you, onward!”)
6. She makes toi stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting toi come to lit (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages toi at work and toi hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if toi want to read some plus link
For all the Zoey McDaniel fan, Should I do a POV in some one elses few of Zoeys life? Like Alice, Jasper, Bella, Emmett, Esme, Carisle, ou Collin. ou do yall want me to keep doing Zoeys POV?
Thanks!!!!!
Sk8bordNewMoon
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Thanks!!!!!
Sk8bordNewMoon
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok don't get me wrong I l’amour the Cullens but take a look at what I would do if I was a Cullen
I would hot wire Edwards car and take it for a joy ride
I would go into my life story when ever I'm board
I would never sleep so I would jump all over
I use the saying "oh bite me" alot and I don't normaily get into fights but this is the Cullens we'r talking about
Sometimes I say my thoughts out-loud
I would think about Jakes body
I would be mad that I'm young and no guy would want to rendez-vous amoureux, date a girl like me
I'd copy Edward
I'd piss off Edward
^^If I did I'd say Bella did it^^
I might crack up when he trys to hold his anger
I would jump off a big arbre a yell "I belive I can fly"
And most of all I'm Crazy
So tell me if I should be a Cullen
I would hot wire Edwards car and take it for a joy ride
I would go into my life story when ever I'm board
I would never sleep so I would jump all over
I use the saying "oh bite me" alot and I don't normaily get into fights but this is the Cullens we'r talking about
Sometimes I say my thoughts out-loud
I would think about Jakes body
I would be mad that I'm young and no guy would want to rendez-vous amoureux, date a girl like me
I'd copy Edward
I'd piss off Edward
^^If I did I'd say Bella did it^^
I might crack up when he trys to hold his anger
I would jump off a big arbre a yell "I belive I can fly"
And most of all I'm Crazy
So tell me if I should be a Cullen
hi i dont know what to call this but heres the first chapter if toi have any ideas tell me
"Alice we don't need to dress up it's just high school.again." I a dit under my breath.
"Oh come on Bella can't toi let me have some fun today."
"Fine." I a dit giving up trying to argue with Alice. Alice had me in dark washed skinny jeans and high heel ankle boots,with a purple long-sleeved layered casual t.
"Just today though."Not wanting her to get the wrong idea that i would let her do this everyday.
"Agreed.Now stay still I'm almost finished.
"Time to go Renesemee,Jacob."I yelled upstairs. Jacob was now moved in with us we all pretty much not breath anymore but we had to get used to it again since we can go to schol again beacause renesemee is 7 now and stoped ageing
"Alice we don't need to dress up it's just high school.again." I a dit under my breath.
"Oh come on Bella can't toi let me have some fun today."
"Fine." I a dit giving up trying to argue with Alice. Alice had me in dark washed skinny jeans and high heel ankle boots,with a purple long-sleeved layered casual t.
"Just today though."Not wanting her to get the wrong idea that i would let her do this everyday.
"Agreed.Now stay still I'm almost finished.
"Time to go Renesemee,Jacob."I yelled upstairs. Jacob was now moved in with us we all pretty much not breath anymore but we had to get used to it again since we can go to schol again beacause renesemee is 7 now and stoped ageing