wow, two in two days! i've discovered that i study better when i have écriture breaks in the middle so your in luck :)
i might be able to write tomorrow, but I'll have to wait and see. enjoy!




“I’m not as strong as toi give me credit for.” I said. Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, ou even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged toi to take me back. I’d be happy to beg now, if that’s what toi want.” Again I expected her reaction.
She grimaced before answering. “Be serious, please.”
“Oh, I am.” I insisted with plus force than necessary. “Will toi please hear what I’m telling you? Will toi let me attempt to explain what toi mean to me?” I waited, but she didn’t answer. I kept my eyes locked on her face, seeing if she was finally understanding.
“Before you, Bella, my life was a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason...and then toi shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When toi were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded par the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no plus reason for anything.” It was the only way I could describe how I felt, an analogy. She had responded well to them in the past, when she had first discovered what I was. Maybe it would help again.
She looked away for a divisé, split second, mumbling her response. “Your eyes will adjust.” She answered, but I could tell from her voice that she didn’t believe the words herself. At last, she was understanding.
“That’s just the problem—they can’t.” I said. I could see that her face was torn, she didn’t believe her argument anymore.
“What about your distractions?” she asked weakly.
I laughed once, a hard sound that was off somehow. There was no humour at all.
“Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the... the agony.” Even that word wasn’t enough, but I went on. “My cœur, coeur hasn’t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my cœur, coeur was gone—like I was hollow. Like I’d left everything that was inside me here with you.”
“That’s funny.” She a dit quietly.
For the seconde time in as many minutes, I was at a loss. “Funny?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I meant strange—” she a dit quickly, moving on with a thoughtful expression “I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven’t been able to really breathe in so long.” She breathed in deeply, as if to prove her point. “And my heart,” she added. “That was definitely lost.” It was hard to believe, listening to it beating, still slightly faster than normal. I leant in again, closing my eyes and placing my ear over her heart. I felt her cheek on my head and her warm breath rustling my hair.
“Tracking wasn’t a distraction then?” she asked, sounding curious.
“No.” I answered, sighing. I should have left it at that, but I couldn’t stop myself from going on.
“It was never a distraction. It was an obligation.” I knew she wouldn’t understand and so I was anticipating her suivant question.
“What does that mean?” she questioned, and I looked up at her face. Still curious.
“It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn’t going to let her get away with...” I stopped and quickly changed sentences. “Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false trail down to Brazil—and really she came here.” I groaned. I had been so far off! “I wasn’t even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears—” that was when she cut me off.
“You were hunting Victoria?” she all but shrieked, shooting through two octaves still sounding beautiful.
“Not well,” I answered, trying to decipher her outraged expression while listening to see if Charlie had woken. “But I’ll do better this time. She won’t be tainting perfectly good air par breathing it in and out for much longer.”
I waited for Bella to answer, but she looked stuck for words. “That is... out of the question.” She managed to choke out, her expression horrified.
“It’s too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after—” she interrupted again.
“Didn’t toi just promise that toi weren’t going to leave?” she asked, trying to seem calm. “That isn’t exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?”
I frowned. Damn, she was right. I couldn’t leave, even if I wanted to. A snarl began to build deep in my chest. “I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria is going to die. Soon.” The snarl became plus pronounced near the end of my sentence.
“Let’s not be hasty.” She said, struggling to hide her panic. “Maybe she’s not coming back. Jake’s pack probably scared her off. There’s really no reason to looking for her. Beside’s I’ve got bigger problems than Victoria.”
As much as hated to admit it, she was right. I nodded. “It’s true. The loups garous are a problem."
I felt disbelief, again, as she snorted. “I wasn’t talking about Jacob. My problems are a lot worse than a handful of adolescent loups getting themselves into trouble.” She said, blatantly disregarding my statement. I almost a dit something, but thought better of it. I didn’t want to upset her now. We could discuss Jacob another time. My teeth clenched together and I had difficulty opening them, so I spoke through them instead.



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